help me, i am addicted for attention?

Question

helo ppl , i am addicted for attention, well since i was a child, i always have this insecure feeling. I';ve been coping feeling of inferior by not thinking about it. i think there is a multiple reason as to why i feels inferior. The first contribution is the way i am, i am quite soft and i have been always difficulty to address that problem. i tried to accept the way i am and be happy but somehow subconsciously i am still angry at myself. As a result, i having hard time to have a average normal guys friends. i do have guy friends but most of the time, i can't relate to them, i feel left out. so throughout my high school, i didnt really have real guy friends and i always feel im the 'second class' among the guys.
thus, i always try to find a way to impress them to get them to look up upon me .
i just cant help it, i really want to get accepted or at least to feel belong. i dont know , i am pretty lost but i know and realize that i keep trying to impress people and i feel pathetic

i dont get depressed to often because i learn how to cope with my thoughts, but i keep yearning to be one of the guys and thats why i keep doing things to get their attention, and hoping they want to be real friends with me,

Answer 1

Big hugs! It will get better.

Answer 2

Addiction is a powerful thing based on chemical releases in the brain. Which is also in part "conditioned" or conditioning (not the air conditioning type).

So in part - you are conditioned behaviorallly to act this way because it has worked successfully for you in the past. Chemicals are released into your blood stream that effect your heart rate and blood pressure. So when you are "accepted" you probably feel a RUSH of adrenalin and your heart rate goes up and you feel good because chemicals are being released into your blood stream in conjuction with your addiction.

Now, you didn't mention your age in your post, but there's a reason why you are acting this way or feel this way. So in response you shouldn't feel bad about your behavior, but it seems you're uncomfortable enough to post here about it and hence make a change. There must be some point where your own behavior is too needy or demanding of attention from the "other" person who you are trying to get the attention from. Let's call this point the break even point - where you get what you need but it irks the other person just a little over the edge. Set a limit for yourself and allow yourself to get the attention you need without going over the breaking point and unnerving someone else (which in itself is a cyclical pattern - because if you've then upset the person you will have to proove your worthiness. etc. )

You are not alone. Everyone wants to be accepted. Everyone. There's a few different ways to go about that might not be so direct, but they'll be just as psychologically fufilling. And - chemically fufilling as well. The body releases chemicals at certain threshold points during exercise, or when challenged or forced to do something new.

So here's my suggestion for you:

( If you follow my drift so far you'll realize the benefits)

[as a general rule avoid alcohol or drugs!]

Next, join a local YMCA for a sport team: volleyball, basketball, or a local track or running club. By doin this you will release HUGE amounts of endorphins which help with stress and mood regulation aka "feeling better". And these types of activities usually require some form of commitment and require clothing appropriate of a team or other group where you'll fit in.

You could join a theatrical group of performers or a local choir or musical group where you could express vocally and release stress and experience the endorphins and group atmosphere.

Community colleges offer many unique and interesting course which would achieve the same goal. You'd have an assignment(s) as well as opportunities to interact with people striving towards the same goal.

Addiction. If you have one addiction you might have another. there are support groups for every addiction under the sun from gambling to computer addictions to food or drugs. Finding a group might help you discover that you're not alone and there are people who feel the same way you do.

A counselor or psychologist is always an option.

To sum up - Be Gentle with yourself - know there's a solution out there and an answer. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Develop and gain the habits of being strong, confident, and self-reliant.

Involve yourself in public speaking, mingling with people, and ascertain your presence in all gatherings.

Be More Extrovert than Introvert.

Try to keep cordial relations with one and all.

Try to see men as Men, and ladies as LADIES, instead of just as SEX objects.

Try to control your smoking / drinking / drug habits, if you have any. Too Much Excess of anything will just ruin you whole.

Even breathing exercises and little yoga (from proper instructors / guides), or sincere prayer may help you.

Always SMILE, and pass on the smile on others faces.

Always think “You are the Creator of Your Own Destiny” as quoted by Swami Vivekananda (www.sriramakrishnamath.org)

Answer 4

You shouldn't have to try to get anyone's attention and you shouldn't have to make people notice you in order to be friends. People will like you for who you are. Perhaps you have an underlying issue having to do with rejection. You should probably speak to a psychiatrist and they will help you get over this

Answer 5

Perhaps you need to talk to a counselor or psychologist.

Answer 6

you need to be treated by a psychiatrist