father of the baby. The relationship between the two of them is a very unhealthy one. The main thing is that they lack respect for each other. I called my daughter today and she informed me that she was getting married in 1 week at City Hall. She also said she was going to send a few wedding invitations out. This is very short notice for me and I feel that a City Hall wedding should not have wedding invites accompany it. If I had not called I do not know whether she would have given me very much notice. I am obligated to my work and getting off with such short notice may be difficult. also, I personally do not want to celebrate this event as I do not feel there is real happiness between the two. What should I do???
2006-10-17 20:33:59 · 18 answers · asked by rimrod 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Unfortunately she is going to do it with or without you. Support her now so that she knows youre there when she needs you should it become necessary later. Try to have faith in your daughter's decision no matter how hard it is because you raised her and somewhere in her, she has learned all those lessons you instilled.
2006-10-17 20:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should... support your daughter at all costs, in whatever she does. Even if you believe this is a bad decision it's not yours. You could privately discuss such things with her, but in my opinion at this point, it's too late. They have a child together and want to make the family work. It will be hard enough for the two of them without you making it worse. Just be there for her, offer her any advise and help that you can, just as you would if you approved of the union. And about the invitations, ignore that, althought it's at city hall it is still her wedding, and let the bride do what she wants. Personally I would feel cheated with a wedding at city hall, I dont know about your daughter, but dont take away the small amount of normalcy of this event.
2006-10-18 03:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When all is said and done, she is still, and will remain, your daughter. You have to bear that in mind. Granting that you may not like the situation she is in right now, and the person with which she arrived in such a predicament, you are left with no recourse but to support her every which way you can.
As for her "unhealthy relationship" with the father of the baby, i'm sure your daughter is old and wise enough to sort this out by herself. I can understand if you would want her to severe the ties with the man. Any mother would want to for the best interest of her daughter, but this is something she has to resolve on her own. After all, it's her feelings that are at stake. The best you could do is to guide her and give her moral support in this endeavor.
2006-10-17 22:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by Nelson M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Support your Daughter. Take off work attend the civil service. Let her know that you are here for her even though you do not approve of her choice in a mate. Do not get involve with the wedding service just let your child know that you are there for her no matter what!
The last thing you want is for a wall to be between you and child. for if the relationship is unhealthy then she is going to need you for more than childbirth. She should feel that can come to you for help for herself and your grandchild.
People are crazy and do very evil things so don't block the lines of communication.
2006-10-17 20:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by missnuarlens 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there may not be a relationship there should be one with you and your daughter I'm sorry for you I am because I have had this happen with my sister twice if that is any help I doubt it but just to let you know I am on your side about this one but I think if she knows how you feel and yet you still go to show your support no matter your feelings she will see this and could help strengthen your relationship and she could be more prone to here what you have to say the next time something big comes up besides the father of a baby should always be in the picture if possible you as a father should know this come on that's the whole reason your reading my words now.
I wish you good luck
2006-10-17 20:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by Since birth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jenny, please go. Your daughter needs you more than she realizes. She's going through a rough time right now, and she needs your support. That doesn't mean you have to like what is going on, it means that she knows that you are there for her.
Go to the wedding, take the couple a small gift. Please do this for both of you, you will always regret not going, and she will always remember that you didn't go on the most important day of her life. She's carrying your grandchild, and if you want anything to do with either one of them, you better put on a nice outfit and go. She could resent you for not going, and cut you out of her life totally. You don't want that. So, put on the happiest smile possible, and attend the wedding.
Jenny, our kids do things that we don't approve of , or act in ways that disappoint us sometimes, but they are our babies. I would rather beside my children, then be left out. So, think about it, and I hope you choose to go. Please make arrangements with work to be off. You don't think the marriage is going to work, I hope you are surprised and it does, but if it doesn't it won't be the first one that didn't last, and it certainly won't be the last.
You do want your heart tells you to do, I know mine would tell be to there-right or wrong. But that's mine. Think about this long and hard, your relationship with daughter will be forever changed if you don't go. Do you want that?
God bless us all............
2006-10-19 01:26:20 · answer #6 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do. If she chooses to marry him, that's her choice. All you can do is hope for the best. So your choice is either to go or not to go. That's your decision, but remember if you don't go, you will most likely create a big wedge between your daughter and you. Good luck.
2006-10-18 00:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all do not put your feelings first..that is wrong. This is going to be her wedding,your her father! Go! If you really dont approve just talk to her about where her life is going,and tell her how you really care,and ask her if she still cares about you,like about the invite...you'll never really know unless you talk to her about it.
But please go,even if it is a city hall wedding. Dont worry about your job..who is really important here? Have a heart.
2006-10-17 20:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by yahooaddict 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should suck it up and do what you can to attend. Be there for your daughter and show your support.
If the marriage is as doomed as you believe, then in time she is going to need you to fall back on, to be there for her. If the relationship between the two of you is damaged now (and not attending will certainly damage it), then she won't turn to you when she needs help.
2006-10-18 02:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As sure as I am that you'd like nothing more than to run him down with the wedding car, she is your little girl and is going to need you. Be there for her, love her, and try to smile. If one day she makes the decision to leave him, it could be harder if she's scared of hearing I told you so's!
2006-10-18 02:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋