Need opinion on my son. My son is doing well on all other subjects but Algebra. But gave up & depressed.?

Question

He had an attitude just in this class and was sent to the principal's office and also seen the guidence office. He was supsended 3 days for his attitude. He does have Bipolor and went off of his meds. He is 15 and I am concerned he could harm himself. He did one year and one month ago with razor blades. I don't want to have to put him back in the hopital again! I am a RN (nurse)..am I doing the wrong thing? He thinks that taking meds is "posion"..he hates meds. He also made the comment coming home from school the he wanted to be 6' under! I am watching him very close. He also said the guidence lady told him that people that DID NOT gradutate lived 6 years "less" than non grads?? I have yet to find that in any of my medical books or research? I wanted opinions on that to please. I think that lady was telling a lie there. My son has done well in school, other than this Alegbra; he is having a very difficult time with it. It is really getting him down.He does stay after for the extra help

Answer 1

i'm 21, and that was me at 15..i could tell you how i felt, maybe that would help. school was absolutely hell for me, i wanted to die, becasue i hated school..don't get me wrong, i loved to learn, i hated the way the school was, the principal was a hypocrit, and he even called me names, the counselor was totally nuts, DO NOT trust the school system, it sounds like mine, i think alot of schools are totally corrupt..especially in a small town like the one i went to...anyways, i didn't fit in with any of the other kids, becasue i was myself, i spoke my mind, and nobody liked it, i didn't conform to the little cliqs, if a bully tried bullying me, i'd send him away sobbing..i guess, becasue things weren't resolved, and my questions were growing..i wanted to know how people could be hypocrits about all of it, why could the teachers swear, and lie, and i couldn't? i cut my wrists so many times..i should be dead, i wanted attention, nobody was listening and now i know, it was a huge cry for help, i just wanted somebody to hear me out, to appriciate my opinions on things in a simple debate, or hug me..maybe this will help matters with you and your son..oh yeah, i'd take the school guidence lady to court, thats totally false, and they can't say that to a kid legally.
i'm adding about his pills, you need to ask him why he feels this way, becasue my pills literally scared the hell out of me, they actually made me see things..no lie.

Answer 2

Have you thought about hiring a private tutor to help with the Algebra. It's really not that complicated you know, just a little confusing sometimes.

You say that you are a nurse? Maybe you need the opinion of a Psych nurse. I too am Bipolar and the first rule you have to follow is to stay on your meds.. When you go off of them the chemicals in your brain affect the seratonin levels in your body and can make you act out.

Being a nurse I thought that you would know that once you are diagnosed as Bipolar you will
be on meds pretty much all of your life. You CANNOT stop taking them because when you do you get sick all over again and that is probably what is happening to your son. He is off of his meds and now his brain won't work straight because of the that. Get him back on the meds and do it now. You should get some good results. That is unless you have a kid like my daughter she won't take her meds either but I used to make her take them. She is pregnant right now and cannot take the meds until after she has the baby. Then hopefully she will get straightened out. Good Luck

Answer 3

That is crap what the lady was telling your son. Living style , ie. what you eat and how you take care of your body by not smoking or by exercising, not abusing alcohol, maintaining STRESS LEVELS, etc. .; all this is going to affect your longevity.

You need to make sure what he told you was true, and if so, confront his guidance lady.

Is he taking antidepressants?
Don't give him those, as he is young and is going through hormonal changes. He doesn't need those meds, and chances are he might even be receiving counter or adverse effects from it.
In other words, it might be making it WORSE, causing more depression, or urges to CUT., etc.
Let his own mind and body work things out the natural way.
You don't want him to become dependant, do you?

Don't always take the medical approach to things, especially mean when you are dealing with your son. Your son needs a mother's love and affection. You are an RN, and probably used to approaching such a situation by trying to calm him the medical way. DON'T.

What he NEEDS more is your attention and views, and not any suggestion of taking meds.
Tell him you know he is smart, that you believe he will get through this, because you will stick by him no matter what.

TEENS think they know a lot, that they are WISE.
They are smart, but not WISE. You are the wise one. He is counting on you, NOT MEDS.
Not everyone handles antidepressants the same. I am sure you have heard that some get SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
SO STOP AND LISTEN TO YOUR SON. He is not a fool. He tells you it's poison as a way of describing his inner pain.

Answer 4

that life expectancy number 6 years less, is a skewered number based on other countries where majority of the population doesn't graduate, and their life expectancy is already probably 10 years less (or more), so when combined with the world population it brings the median life expectancy down. although its a harsh thing to say to a kid, thats not exactly motivating.

i graduated high school but when i started college my math sucked, i had to take remedial. so dont sweat it. however, i had a good teacher so by the time i took algebra again i did fairly well. it just depends on the teacher really. what it really comes down to is, its just school, is he planning on attending a 4 year college right out of high school? if not, then there shouldn't be any reason to get so upset.

as for those depressed episodes, i can't help you there, it sucks when he thinks that it is "poison". i worked wtih a guy that was bipolar, and everytime a girlfriend dumped him he'd go into a manic stage. i think he just had psychiatric meetings and stuff, so i guess there are alternatives to drugs, if he wont take them.

Answer 5

I am no professional, but I did finish college and here's the advice I can give. It looks like he's given up is probibly the "learned helplessness" that he's facing. He's trying hard but his math foundation is probily isn't strong enough, thus he's given up all together. Give him plenty of encouragement and if necessary have a tutor work with him or you can enroll him in math programs such as kumon that will boost his self confidence. But the main thing is, you must give him plenty of encouragement, praise him for improvments.

The important thing is, actually have someone he doesn't know or someone that he wants to tutor him. Because young adults don't like to be looked down as if they are dumb. But keep encouraging him.

Answer 6

Be his friend and listen to his needs. Get a friendly math tutor or enroll him in a specialized math program like kumon math. It can do wonders.