if ive been bullied and victimised and endured alot of trauma in my life which i think?

Question

has put alot of anger and rage inside me. from 14 to the age of 29 which iam now does it mean that its inevitable that one day soon im gonna completly explode in rage and do something serious?? i dont want to, and am trying to get help from a psyche in november. but a woman on a helpline told me recently said, she doesnt blame me about the way i feel reguarding the anger i feel, so does she mean that its right for me to feel the rage i do towards people and that its only a matter of time before i do something??? i didnt like it at all when she said that. i wanna somehow get over my past and live a normal life, but i really do struggle with my angry feelings, . also high anxiety, low self worth, low moods that last for days and racin thoughts. am i at the mercy of myself? is it inevitable that i will explode with anger annd do somet serious ? or can i do somethin about it and live a normal life and achieve things? shud i be reluctant to get help incase im seen as dangerous?

its like i feel angry towards people for wat ive had to go through and i resent their happiness how do i combat this please?

Answer 1

That's a heavy question. I'm just an ordinary, average person (I think), so I can't give you any kind of trained, professional-type answer, but I can say that many people who have endured great adversity in their lives have gone on to lead normal lives and some have even achieved "greatness." Your question gives me pause, as I often experience high anxiety and low self esteem, low moods and racing thoughts, and I have had a fairly "normal" life...I have definitely not been victimized or bullied. Yet, still having these same problems makes me wonder what could be the cause of them. It's a mystery to me. Perhaps a chemical imbalance. It sounds cliche but when I'm feeling low, I try to remember to count my blessings and be thankful for them. I have thought of getting professional help and yet I have read that doing so goes on my medical record and may make it impossible for me to get insurance should I have to get an individual policy in the future. To answer your questions specifically (from an ordinary person's viewpoint): I don't think by any means is it inevitable that you will completely explode in rage and do something serious. You obviously don't want that. I think the woman on the phone gave you a bum steer. I think, to a great extent, each of us is "at the mercy of" ourselves. No, it is not inevitable that you will explode and do something serious. Exercise. Have a cup of tea. Learn meditation and other relaxation techniques. Best of luck in living life to the fullest and taking advantage of it. With love and caring,

Answer 2

I suffer from the exact same thing and seeing a psychiatrist / psychologist - therapy and I take Lexapro and Effexor, and all the trauma in my life that I would hold in instead of releasing it at the very instant thes events happened, I endend up with a nervous breakdown. It takes a couple of sessions to be able to put these things behind you by talking with the therapist, and what brings of this is one you don't yet know the person well enough to trust them and two you are afraid what will happen when you begin to relive these moments through talking. But man oh man does it work. By some miracle if you live in Houston, Tx Dr. Lagrone is wonderful. The only one after like 20 years of trying therapy that I felt comfortable enough to talk to, he doesn't rush you (so you usually have to wait longer than the schedualed appointment. But Dr. Lagrone puts himself to your level of the way you think and is always understanding and supportive. If you don't have any insurance you can admit yourself in the hospital. You can also talk to me
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Wow, this is tough stuff. I am uncertain of all of the details about your past so I can not say that I understand you. I can empathize with your frustration and hopefully offer some sincere impartial advice.

I truly believe that life is hard to undestand sometimes... ok a lot of times. I don't think from reading into your question that you are malicious or intent on causing harm to someone else as that might re-awaken the pain that you had gone through. I get the feeling that you want to bring closure to that period of your life and move on and live with a sense of normalcy that hadn't been afforded to you as of yet. Key word, yet. I also think that you are being proactive on your own behalf to seek counsel in a manner to deal with your emotional distress. It will be a struggle and it sounds as though you'd been through some horrible experiences, but this is not impossible. Do not allow yourself to bottle up your feelings and lock them away, they come out explosively when people do this. Accept them, embrace them if you will, they are what makes you yourself and unique. A possible rewarding channel for this energy might be to work with teens or others who are feeling victimized right now. Share yourself and your experience with others. This will allow you to accept your past and at the same time work in a fashion that helps to come to terms with that past. You would be amazed at the response that people get when they listen to others and have been in the same emotional state also. I truly and sincerely wish you the best of luck with this issue. If you ever need to talk more, just click on my name and write what your feeling.

Porterhouse

Answer 4

Unless you dwell on it it will get smaller and smaller. Don't dwell on it. Try to find a way to work off your aggression; weightlifting, running, etc. Otherwise it will be hard to ignore.

Trust me on this, it sounds like we've been through the same thing.

As for hurting people try to look at the consequences. Do you really want to hurt people for no reason other than to make yourself feel better? Would that honestly resolve what you feel?

Answer 5

How are you seen as dangerous? There is a big difference between feeling anger and acting on it. As long as you can contain that you will be fine.

If you feel like you will 'snap' go and see a doctor. You may need medication to stabilize your moods and live a 'normal' life.

Answer 6

well..hate to be the one to tell you this but so has everyone else, i've been bullied and victimized untill total collapse, wich i thank god happened, every day, now i see every single aspect of life in such a beautiful way words can not describe it, you just have to learn how to filter the bad, and suck in the good, like a sponge, think of the jackasses like robots, the bullies, becasue they aren't smart are they? all they want is your anger right? so instead of knocking them out, why don't you try laughing like a hyena, i know it sounds crazy, but it's not, and i promise you, they will let you be, if they ask whats so funny tell them how f***ing rediculous they are, then tell them to get a life, if they hit you, laugh harder.
now on to your concerns of exploding, listen man, i go through that daily, and I PROMISE you, it's ok, you are ok, if you were nuts, getting ready to go off, you would, you wouldn't second guess yourself, you'd explode..i've thought alot about that issue with myself, and i know now, that people who do become concerned with these thoughts (we all have) are the safe 0ones, the good spirited ones. get around people who care about you for encouragement and reasurance, and say positive things about yourself, do things you love, and try not to fret about the anger, and i know it's hard, music helps me.
i too suffer from high anxiety, and what i do is i rage out with my guitar and my singing, it works well, i also have to force myself to be around people..this somehow makes me feel not like some crazy guy about to go off, you sound just like me man, you will be ok...hope i haven't rambled too much here..i hope this post helps.

Answer 7

I think it is normal that you feel angry, if you were treated like that. I'm glad you are getting help. And the fact that your so worried that you might do something serious to somebody probably means you wont, most bad people don't think too much about the things they do, or else they probably wouldn't do it.

Answer 8

The beautiful thing about life is that it moves in phases, but we make the choices.
show your past the gate and not the garrage, let your past pass and not park...
borrow the lessons and bury the details.
your past was meant to strenghten your future and not demolish your present!!!