If a butch and femme have a child together, what name would the child use to address the butch?

Question

Mommy is a gender-specific and role specific term and the femme, of course, would be referred to as 'mommy'. But the butch, especially extremely dominant butches, do not portray the characterisitcs of a 'mommy'. And 'daddy' opens up a whirlpool of gender-identity confusion.

Answer 1

Mother, mum, eema, mama k... They are gender specific but butches are still women. Most would be offended to be called a man. If a butch wanted to be a man, she would have gotten the surgery. If a woman is dead set against being called a mom, she may choose to be called by their first name or a nickname.

Answer 2

If the couple decides to have a child together or adopt, they will most likely discuss this prior to the child arriving. Most likely, they will both be referred to as mommy or one as mommy and the other "daddy" or another endearing term. Whether or not mommy or daddy is gender-specific is irrelevant. A parent can be called whatever he or she chooses to be called. For instance, my aunt is completely heterosexual, married for 30 years etc., but when I was a child I always said Uncle Tommy and Sharon. So when she'd come alone it was Uncle Sharon. When I was asked why I called a woman by the term uncle, a masculine term, I tried to correct myself but she would not allow it. She said that it made her feel unique and that she loved being called Uncle Sharon. So yes there is a gender-identity issue there but if the butch wants to be called "daddy" or "mommy" the child will understand and be able to explain why this is so.

Answer 3

First, butch and femme are generalizations of roles that don't necessarily exist in every lesbian relationship.
In a couple I know, there's a mommy and an Ima (mommy in the local language)

Answer 4

You could always just call the femme mommy and the butch mom or even her actual name.

Answer 5

In such a progressive family, sterotypical gender rolesof femine "mommy" shouldnt exist. They should seek the advice of other same sex couples with children to get an idea of how its handled.

Answer 6

my kids called me mommy and my other half mama(name)... just to toss names out, it was things like, mama lori, mama kat. the difference being that these people were my girlfriends/lovers, not my life partner i was having kids with. in a husband wife life partner type of relationship where it is going to be a permanent thing i dont believe either should be called by their first name. perhapse mommy and madre. english and spanish. my grandkids call me ahma. it doesnt mean anything specifically, but it is something for them to call me and i like the way it sounds. maybe you could use that. Good luck!

Answer 7

Why can't they both be called mom? - That's what she is after all. Having 2 mom's is pretty normal these days, especially with the amount of parents that divorce and later find new partners then go on to remarry. Remember the TV show "My Two Dads"? - that was just one example of how it can work. :-)

Answer 8

How about Mema? Mommy and Mema? I think that's good. Also, there is Mommy and Mama.
Give kids a little credit. They are smarter than you think. Gender and the differences in their families don't bother them as much as hetero people like to think. If a kid grows up with it, they think it's normal, just like if one parent has one arm or something.

Answer 9

My kids call me Mummy (the butch one) and my hubby is Daddy (the femme one)
Hope that helps.

Answer 10

Manny??? Mommy& Nanny