PLEASE HELP, i put my b/f in jail 4 having sex with my 15yrdaughter,now i found out she helped him hide it..?

Question

it has been 4 days since i have found this out and put him in jail,now i am finding out from her friends that she helped him hide this from me,on top of her telling everyone that he is her boyfriend and that hopes she gets pregnant from him,im so hurt and feel so betrayed by the both of him,i cant even look or talk to her...she is acting like nothing has happened while in the mean time i do nothing but cry,smoke and drink coffee,i cant even sleep....can anyone please HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

GOOD U PUT THAT BASTARD IN JAIL! AS FOR YOUR DAUGHTER SHE IS YOUNG BUT SHOULD KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND SAYING WAS WRONG MAYBE SHE SHOULD GO TO COUNSELING FOR HELP! YOU TOO SO YOU WONT GO CRAZY THINKING BOUT THIS! PLUS SHE IS STILL YOUR DAUGHTER!

Answer 2

Keep the charges against him.Your daughter is to young to make the choice regardless that she did.This guy might like getting into relationships where there is a young girl in the house because he is a pervert.Remember that if nothing else "HE IS A PERVERT". To have sex with a minor is not only morally wrong,its against the law and you may be saving someone Else's child from him.She might be telling herself that this is what she wanted to happen because then it doesn't hurt so much.(i did that when i was 15)You have to be the voice of reason and keep your course.I'm sorry, I know you must feel so deceived by him and her but she is still a child he isn't.I feel for you.Don't let this come between you and your daughter.This time will pass and you will have a meeting of the minds when she is old enough to be real about what has happened.Even though she is not playing the victim doesn't mean she isn't.Sometimes its easier to pretend you wanted it to happen.Love your daughter,press charges on the pervert and feel good about your decision.I'm sure that later on she will respect you for it. God bless. Kellie if you need a friend- [e-mail]

Answer 3

Allright. First of all, I dont think you really tried to sow your fifteen year old daughter having sex with your boyfriend, So um, reap this. Anyhow, maybe she wants your attention, maybe she has some psychological issues, maybe she did it out of sheer contempt for you, it doesnt matter. What matters now, is that the minute that your little girl willingly opened her legs to your boyfriend, she became an adult. If she can say that he's "her" boyfriend, and that she wants to get pregnant by him, then that is consensual sex. Period. What would you do if she were a grown woman, or someone else's daughter? It wouldnt be pretty, I'm sure. You did the right thing, put the boyfriend in jail. Now about the daughter....no matter what you do, the selfish little brat is going to do whatever she wants and blame you for it all, so it doesnt matter what punishment that you give her. Frankly, she deserves to get an old fashioned a*swhippin, but we can't do that these days, can we? Send her away. Let her take a tour of the maternity ward, and the jails, and meet all the other little 15 year old girls with babies that they can't and won't take care of. Maybe when her "boyfriend" gets out of jail, she can go live with him, and when he dumps her for someone his age that provides better pickins, she'll get the point.

Answer 4

I agree with the others. You did the right thing. A 15 year old is very impressionable, and extremely easy to manipulate, at least by someone older. She is legally unable to consent to sex, and he knows that. He also knows exaclty how to manipulate her to have sex with him, get her to hide it, and basically push her buttons. Of the teenage moms I've talked with, they often tell me that if they are alone with their boyfriend that they basically have no defense against their wishes.

Your daughter could probably use some conseling here. She needs to understand and accept that at this point she should be with boys her own age. I know that she likes the older ones (they all do, it seems) because they are smoother, smarter, and so much more mature, and they aren't suppposed to be available.

Your feelings are normal. Right now probably isn't the time to quit smoking. My suggestion is that you cry a bit, smoke a bit, eat a little, scream at a couple walls, get to a counselor to find out how to repair this mess, and let the word out on the street that anyone over 18 messing with your daughter will find themselves talking it over with a judge. It's great to see some backbone. Sleep may have to wait until your daughter grows up a little.

Take care. Parenting is a challenge. Somehow you and your daughter will get through this.

Answer 5

Wow, I am not even sure anyone on here can understand the feelings that you ae feeling! I am truly sorry.. nobody deserves to be betrayed like that from the 2 closest people to her. I will say this though... your boyfriend was an adult, your 15 yo is still a rebellious child. He should be held to a higher level of accoutability than her.

At some point your daughter and you have to have a conversation... I would suggest in the presence of a therapist to help you sort through the issues. There has to be something underlying the problem and perhaps a therapist can help you. For now, you need to continue to be a good mother and be adult. Remember that she is still a child and as angry as you are you both will get through this.

Answer 6

I must say that is one of the most terrible and disturbing things i've ever heard and i'm so sorry for you.I don't know how i would deal with it cause she's still your daughter but i know inside you must want to never see her again and obviously and i hate to say it but she's a hoe.Let's face it they're out there and she's one of them but there are reasons for this so i say definately speak with her and a counselor together cause if you don't find out why she did this and get your feelings off you r chest you will keep this forever in the back of your heart and that will not be good.And you definately did the right thing by putting that pervert in jail he should not be messing with a little girl in the first place and i suggest you get some counseling yourself cause you're gonna need it because this is gonna be hard to get over and be in another serious relationship again.I don't know what else to say,i hope you sort things out and if you ever need someone to talk to you can for sure email me anytime.

Answer 7

SHE is your daughter. SHE is only 15. SHE was the one taken advantage of even if she is acting otherwise. She's just a child and he is a grown man. HE manipulated her so do not fault her for trying to make sense of things or trying to act like she had some control over the situation. Right now your daughter needs your UNCONDITIONAL love and support----EVEN if she hurt you. Please, do not let that man back into your life, and do not hold it against your daughter. Let her know you do not hold her responsible (EVEN if she was hiding it.) YOU brought this man into your lives----now it is your turn to suck it up and do what is best for your daughter---even if it is hard for you. Sorry about the tough love language---but really as a mom, this is what you must do if you are to help your daughter come out of this unscathed. In the end, the relationship you have with her is ultimately more important than any bf that may come in and out of your life.

Answer 8

whoa!!! this is quite heavy...I can see why youre hurting and feel betrayed. I would, if I was you, somehow get some little time away from your daughter.- just for now. Maybe a neighbor or friend can keep an eye on her for you. It wont be easy but learning to forgive her would be best FOR YOU.

Next I would get to the heart of all this and see why she did this and what you can do to keep it from happening again. She is way too young to be engaging in sex.

Lastly, most likely your ex-b/f probably will be guilty of statutory rape even though your daughter consented (unless you live in state that allow that kind of stuff.) He's toast in my book.

Both you and your daughter will be subjected to testifying in court. Be mentally prepared.

Answer 9

That is so sad, I hope he stays in jail for a long, long time. This must be hard right now. I hope you can be strong and give yourself time to heal your heart.. I cannot believe your baby girl would do something to hurt you like that, she is still a minor, and maybe he is coaxing her to make statements or something, I hope you are going to be okay. Be Strong, don't listen to the person who said get revenge be cause that will not solve anything. Use the Laws that protect your rights and the daughters to keep him in Jail where he belongs.

Answer 10

first off, this is a good thing that you got this out of your chest. i believe that under the circumstances, you should get some professional help that can help you get rid of the anger and feelings of betrayal. your reaction is normal. to get this kind of treatment from your loved one most especially from your daughter is terrible. the betrayal and deception from the people you least expect it to come from is the most painful thing to bear. i understand how you feel. i think that your daughter needs some help as well, could it be that she was really raped at first and because of the trauma she got, losing her innocence and all, caused her to become rebellious and act so, pardon my french, b*tchy? people react differently under the same traumatic experiences, her saying that she wants a baby from him could be a cause of brain washing from your boyfriend and just a defense mechanism for her part so that people won't think that she is helpless and she wants people to think that she was and still is in control of the whole thing. or that if she tells you that she was and still IS the victim, you might not believe her. have you tried talking to her? get all of this out in the open and assure her that everything you tell her will be heard and understood. regarding your boyfriend, he should rot in jail because what he did is wrong and immoral, no matter how or what he says, he is the adult and he should've known better. about your own dilemma, take action and control of your life. this is the only way you and your daughter can find peace of mind and move on. goodluck

Answer 11

heavily sit back If he had a huge fat secret life hidden faraway from you do you REALLLY imagine that'd he'd have given you the foremost to his hidden international?? I advise truly? Its like me hiding the guy i have been dishonest with in the closet and telling my boyfriend to flow get my coat. If he's carried out it in the previous he its probable from a at the same time as in the past yet he can't delete his profile or something like that. Its probable something it is in basic terms there, and he's too lazy to dam his e-mail cope with from. you comprehend the way those pesky those information superhighway newletters are once you verify in. They flow on always. heavily if he had a mind of a a million year old and replaced into hiding something enormous then he does no longer, no way have given you the password, or a minimum of tried to cover the "data" from you. yet he did not, he idea it replaced into no longer something, did not even happen to him that you've been the slightest tinsyest bit disillusioned. So yeah, pressure a lot less, probalby no longer something in any respect.