the kids are all under the age of 10,he's a great guy.she really messed this poor guys head up.i go see him now and then,he's a hard worker,and does an excellent job of raising his kids,comes home after workin hard all day,fixes their dinner,does the laundry...i'm tryin to be patient,cause i really like him,and we talk forever,about all kinds of things.he knows how I feel about him,he's one of my brothers best friends,and i have liked this guy for about 20 years.i know he's not in any hurry to be hurt agian,i can understand that.he know's me,and has since i was a baby.i don't want to scare him away,but ,how can I make this guy realize,not all women are alike?just cause she's a major flop,what do I have to do to get through to this guy?he's talked to my brother about me a few times,and said how it would be nice to have someone descent that he could trust.my brother told him he needs to tell me that,not him.lol.this guy is kind of shy though.need some real advice,not any sarcasim.THANKS
2006-10-17 16:35:21 · 14 answers · asked by curious1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi, Time is what this guy needs and time IS a great healer,
be honest with him and let him know how you feel but i bet thats theres no way he is going to want to rush into a relationship - it could be a long while before he is happy to take someone on board and even begin to learn to trust again (remember he not only has him self but his kids to think about too) be careful how you go as at the mo his is very hurt & lonely and he may just end up seeing you as a good friend and no more than that.
Hope it all goes well for you
2006-10-17 16:42:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the new guy isn't working out - and she has no where else to go. I know you've had a rough time, but you are trying to get your life straight. Have the kids cried for her or asked for her? Think about what's best for the kids - they don't need the confusion or her coming and going in and out of their lives. Just because she's confused, doesn't mean the kids have to live in a state of confusion. Talk to a professional - get some good advice as to what you should do. Good luck
2016-05-21 22:34:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you like the guy...how do you like his kids??? They are likely to have emotional problems because of their crackhead mom and act out. No matter how much of a worthless person she is, they will also still crave her love and approval, so she can swoop back into their lives any time she wants, cause chaos for the whole family, and disappear back to her crack house again. If your answer to all this is, "I love his kids, I want to raise his kids, I always wanted the thankless task of caring for emotionally damaged kids", then this might be a good idea. I am NOT being sarcastic. I have done treatment level foster care and worked in juvenile detention so I know there are in fact women who want to take on that burden, because I am one of them. But if you are not like me in that way, stay away...or you will cause those kids more heartache. If you do really want the man as the whole package, including the kids, I suggest the direct approach. he has been through a lot in life already and doesn't need to play games. You should tell him what you want and discuss the pro's and con's with him.
2006-10-17 16:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by z 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he has known you that long, he already knows all women aren't like his ex-wife. If he is asking about you, he probably is interested but isn't sure of his feelings for now. Just continue being a friend and suggest sometime that the two of you go out for a movie or something.
2006-10-17 16:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i guess if he likes you, he'll eventually tell you. just hang in there and be patient.
he can also be worried abt how you'll be handling the kids. this a amajor thing. you better be sure that you'll be a good mother to the kids and understand all the responsibilities that there are before stepping into that relationship.
2006-10-17 16:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"mr. wonderful" sure sounds like he has "cold feet" all right.
considering that you sound like you are much younger than he is, (and even if you weren't)
my advice to you would be to ===== either put your life on hold for an indifinate amount of time. more than likely this will be for years and years ===== or find someone that doesn't have all this baggage.
i, personally, have a son that uses his children as a shield to prevent committing to women. and it works like a charm. the perfect excuse!!!
there are plenty of men around that do not have all this drama and are perfectly willing to have "no cold feet" when it comes to a nice lady. please do yourself a favor and pick one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-17 16:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well just give the guy some time to get used to things and then makeur move...he is obviously intereted but may not want to rush into things..so just take it nice and easy!
2006-10-17 16:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by srk's # one fan! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to him --- get the kids in bed get relaxed and talk about what you want and how he can help
he has to want to get involved you cant force him but you can shake him up --- make him think
knowing each other that long means he does know you are different
2006-10-17 16:39:54 · answer #8 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you like the children, take care of them & show the man your fondness of them....later talk to him in a simplistic way.
2006-10-17 19:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by saumitra s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Help him in looking after his kids. Sooner or later he will realise, appreciate your feelings and propose to you. Do not jump wait for his proposal.
2006-10-17 18:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by Meeto 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋