Tonight my girlfriend of 2 years didn't want to put out. I didn't act as angry as I felt inside. I made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. But on the inside, I was furious. I didn't want anything to do with her. And I got to thinking "Why am I so angry? I love this girl. I should respect her decision in not wanting to have sex." But I've heard that sometimes young people have a hard time telling the difference between attraction and affection. And I got to thinking, what if I have only been phsically attracted to this girl for 2 years, and her beauty and sexiness has fooled me into thinking that I love her? It sounds very stupid, but why else would I get so angry? I don't want to have those kinds of feelings, so why are they arising? If I don't actually love her then I feel like I will NEVER be able to love anyone, ever! Because I didn't flip out, we ended up messing around anyway... But still... I don't want to be ONLY phsically attracted to this girl!
2006-10-17 16:34:01 · 9 answers · asked by ks_stud_2005 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In response to jstress's answer... YES! I do think about her in non-sexual ways. I miss holding her and talking to her. She makes me happy! But thats NO excuse for the anger i felt tonite. It really scared me, honestly...
2006-10-17 16:41:52 · update #1
I dont know do you ever just think about her and not just think about having sex with her? Do you miss her when you two are away from each other? Do you think about how you can't wait to hold her or how you cant wait to have sex with her. If you are always thinking about sex then maybe you are with her for the wrong reasons
2006-10-17 16:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by jstressed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The notion that young people can not know the difference between love and infatuation is kinda bogus. Love like pretty much any other emotion can not be taught or explained, everyone makes their own determination about it. You just need to trust yourself, don't doubt yourself. If you think you are in love with her then you are, there are no empirical tests you can run to prove it one way or the other.
Now the issue of putting out or not making you angry and this maybe pointing to something... OK I see this two ways:
1. If I LOVED someone and we had been intimate in the past, and she shrugs you off then how else are you supposed to feel? happy? No, anyone would feel put off.
2. Maybe you don't love her, in which case your theory of long term infatuation is true.
Really the question is one no one can answer for you.
2006-10-17 23:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree..you are totally in it for the wrong reason. If you feel this way, you should end it before you really hurt her. And if you think you still may love her and are not sure, try cutting sex out of it for a while. If you still feel the same way (like you just want to have sex) than you should end it. But if you feel like you are ok with it because you have a long time for all of that, than it could be something to hold onto. Good luck!
2006-10-17 23:42:20 · answer #3 · answered by nobodyinparticular...lol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why you need to find out if you can spend time with her, not have sex, and still have fun. It's a common "litmus" test girls give us. If you don't really know, try it and see if you actually like her. You may be surprised at the results. (And speaking from experience, if things pan out, you really do like each other, be ready for some really good lovin' when she finally lets her guard down again.) She is thinking about taking things to another level. Give it a shot. What have you got to lose if you find out you don't have anything in common but attraction? Call a spade a spade.
2006-10-17 23:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your young it can be hard to distinguish between love and lust.I can't tell you if you love her or not.I know i've mistaken love for lust.Now that I have found love I dont know how I never knew the difference.I don't believe that you question it if you are truly in love,Getting angry because she doesnt put out doesn't mean you don't love her.My man still gets angry when he has to go more than two days and we've been together for 12 years.Is she your best friend?do you picture the two of you together for the rest of your life.Does she make you crazy on a regular basis? if so you definatley have feelings for her.Trust me if its not love,you will find love
2006-10-17 23:44:15 · answer #5 · answered by chaosnks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes u are in it for the wrong reason. U only want sex u disgust me. I hate guys like u. U should dump her if u feel like this.
2006-10-17 23:38:17 · answer #6 · answered by Steph1490 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound stupid at all. It's highly possible that your dating her for her looks. But maybe not. Or maybe its both.
2006-10-17 23:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you already know the answer you pretty much spelled it out in your question
2006-10-17 23:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Hannah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah yes men lust lust lust.....
2006-10-17 23:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by "Chanel-o" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋