Okay, here is what i just wrote. Since English is not my mother tounge and i don't know much about poems in English (i'm a Computer engineer) i'm not sure if i got it correct.
Do i have any fatal grammar mistakes in:
Hurry up!
Grab the moment
Tomorrow is getting closer
Days are walking by
Hurry up!
Seize the pleasure
Sorrow is on the way
Happiness is passing by
Hurry up!
Open your eyes
Sunset is in the sight
Wind is blowing by
Hurry up!
Feel the rain
Drops are on the ground
Clouds are flying by
Hurry up!
Or, let it go
Take failure for granted
Winner is running by
If you could tell me what you think about it, i will appriciate.
Thanks in advance..
2006-10-17 16:13:41 · 9 answers · asked by Syntax-Error 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
Thanks spazzy, it is "The winnner is..." now.
2006-10-17 16:20:20 · update #1
Thanks 'smart' now i know how to spell appreciate :)
2006-10-17 16:20:57 · update #2
Thanks brutal. 'sunset is in sight' sounds better to me too..i think i'm gonna change it.
and yes, he is gonna be a winner ;)
2006-10-17 16:26:02 · update #3
Thanks Tigglys.. damn! i knew how to spell tongue, that was a typo (now i'm not sure if i spelled typo correctly) :) sorry..
2006-10-17 16:43:29 · update #4
Thank you Jenn.. that would totally change my poem.. i'm gonna think about it :)
2006-10-17 16:44:19 · update #5
no error as far as i could see. By the way for someone who had english as second language and who spell "appreciate" wrong u write pretty good poems.
2006-10-17 16:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by smart son of a bich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds alright but the individual in the poem, is he/she ever going to succeed?
grammar issues- only one that feels a little off....
The line Sunset is in the sight you do not need to include the word "the". Sunset is in sight sounds better.
2006-10-17 16:20:38 · answer #2 · answered by Brutal honesty is best 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last line should be 'The winner is running by' and you might want a little punctuation. Other than that it's great! That's pretty impressive for English not being your original language ;)
2006-10-17 16:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The correct form would be as follows... Dear Mr. Whoever, [regarding the 'object' which I returned to you for repair on the 10th August, 2008, I received your receipt for same on September 1st, 2008.]
2016-03-28 13:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem - I like the flow & energy.
Good work - but you should run spell check before turning anything in - you misspelled "tongue" in your intro :-)
2006-10-17 16:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by tigglys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in paragraph 2... Happiness is for sure
in paragraph 1...Days grow older
in paragraph 3..below Wind line...Stay in the light.
paragraph 4...below Clouds line...Leaves pile to the mound.
paragraph 5...below Winner line...Knowledge is only to know.
2006-10-17 16:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I see wrong is in the last part.
"Hurry Up!
Or, let it go"
You need no comma after the word 'go'.
You would only need a comma in there if you wrote 'Hurry up, or let it go'.
2006-10-17 19:25:24 · answer #7 · answered by NecropolisXR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds nice.
Days do not walk by though. They fly by.
2006-10-17 16:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by catherine02116 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are quiet the writer!!! BRAVO!!! you know what you are doing for poem format!!
2006-10-17 16:48:13 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley&hannah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋