we have been dating for 1 1/2 years and i really love him and he really loves me and this is the REAL kind of love, you know? anyway everything about him is perfect except for 1 thing, he smokes. i try to tell him to stop and tell him that its really bad for him but he tells me that i dont know what i am talking about and well maybe i dont because he knows alot more about it than me but i just dont want him to smoke anymore what should i do?
2006-10-17 15:50:49 · 24 answers · asked by ilovedbw22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if this guy cares about you, he is going to listen to you and at least make an effort to try and stop. tell him these words, you love him and you don't want anything bad for him. smoking may give you a 'relaxing' feeling but it's just killing you on the inside. tell him that if he truly loves you and cares about you, he will at least make an effort. good luck!!
2006-10-17 15:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by kpop_singer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he is not smarter than you, if he was, he would acknowledge that smoking is bad for him, and the second hand smoke is bad for you. You have been together a long while, I suggest since you don't like the smoke, ask him not to smoke around you, go outside. If he doesn't respect your right to breathe fresh air, he doesn't respect you in other ways. If he does comply and quits smoking around you, maybe then he'll be more tempted to quit smoking. Look up the stats on smoking and longevity. If you are thinking marriage, do you want a husband that could die of a fatal heart attack at age 50? Or die a miserable death from lung cancer or COPD?
2006-10-17 23:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to like my answer, but here goes.
If you really love him, you'll tell him its either the smokes or you. He can't have both. He's slowly killing himself and in the meantime stinks all the time. Is this what you want? You need to be serious with him because he needs to know you're for real.
Then if he picks you over the smokes, then perhaps you're with the wrong guy in the first place. If you continue and get married and have kids, do you want your precious baby around that stench?
I told you that you would not like my answer. Its not an easy thing to do. It takes courage to stand up for what you think is right. If you don't have the courage to tell him the truth, then you and your future family deserve what you get. A stinking man with poor health who will die before his time.
TX Guy
2006-10-17 22:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him the guilt-trip- he'll just get defensive. Instead of telling him why smoking is bad, tell him why quitting smoking would be great! All smokers know that smoking is unhealthy. But they enjoy smoking so much that they aren't willing to give it up. Give him reasons to want to quit! Like, "Food will taste so much better when you quit smoking! Your complexion will be so much sexier when you quit smoking!" Use that reverse psychology on him. If you need ammo, talk to your doctor. Just understand that he has to make the decision to do it for himself.
2006-10-17 22:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just told my husband the other day that he needs to stop smoking, so one of us can still be alive to see our grand kids. I'm pretty sure I won't live as long as him, because most men and women in my family die before reaching 60. (his Dad smoked, chewed tobacco and drank whiskey, but died at 91..... his uncle will be 100 in two years) He said I shouldn't talk like that, but that I'm right about him having to stop. He said that two years ago..... My husband is such a kid.... when he was with coworkers who smoked- he started smoking... when he was working with someone who was bald- he preferred to have a bald head, too.... I wonder what comes next.
2006-10-17 22:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get to accepting him for who he is! I adore my husband and he is the biggest slob Ive ever cohabited with but I love him more than anything in this world and have accepted that part of him because life would be miserable without him and not being with him is worse than cleaning up after him! You cannot change someone ever! If you really do love him as you say you must accept him for who he is and leave him alone about the subject and worry about more important things in life. Nagging him will only make him resent and hate you later on.
2006-10-17 22:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that you wont kiss him untill he stops smoking cause it makes you sick to your stomach! ( Even if it doesnt). Mabey that will help. Even better say you wont have sex with him untill he stops, that will drive him crazy! LOL ( if your old enough to have sex, that Im not sure about). Anyways, hope this helps. Good Luck!!
2006-10-17 22:54:52 · answer #7 · answered by SummerLovin' 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its on the inside that counts right? , well, i guess his insides arent lookign to good!! lol,but for serious, you have to make him understand, get a frim tone with him, get really serious and talk to him about, tell him why you dont lik eit, why its not good and stuff, even get one of those relationship counselors or something if you have to...otherwise, in the middle of the night, sticko one of those patches on him, if you two sleep over or whate3ver...doesnt hurt to try..... good luck...i cant stand smoke because im sorta allergic to it....like, i break out in acne(really pisses me off) so id dumb my future girlfriend if she strted to smoke
but youll find something tha twill work!!
2006-10-17 23:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i smoke too but I'm not ignorant, i know its bad but its hard. Wait that's it, hes a man he doesn't want to tell you that hes week and cant quit.
2006-10-17 22:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept him for all he is, his bad habits too. He'll quit when he wants to... Don't force him.
or
you could start a bet with him to see how long he can go without smoking, eventually, he'll quit.
2006-10-17 22:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by Rin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋