Do I need medication to control my anger with my daughter??

Question

I have no patience with my 6 year old....example, I lash out at her when she is doing her basic first grade math homework and I know she knows what she is doing. Like her homework tonight, she answered all the 3+1, 5+4, ext questions right and then she was supposed to color certain answers certain colors and she just acted like she didn't know. I helped her by saying ok, that answer you put in is 3, it says on the top 3,4 and 5 are blue and I would say, so which color should it be? She would say I don't know. Or there is a picture of a hat, there are 3 words at the top of the page....sat, hat, rat and I would ask her to sound out the words and then say is that a sat...she would say no, is that a hat..no, is that a rat...no and I would just start yelling and cursing and screaming at her saying why is she acting ******* (excuse the language) like she doesn't understand. I am scaring not only her, but myself and my other daughter.I'm a single mother with no outside help,please help

Answer 1

You need to speak to a Doctor, not get advice from people on the Internet.

This is something a caring professional can help you answer.

Answer 2

You're scaring me too. She is scared of your intimidation so her ability to rationalize has diminished. Maybe she thinks no matter what she says that you're going to yell at her,. Six years old is very young. You may not have the knowledge of her capacity to learn and intimidation only makes it overwhelming to her. If you keep up in this fashion, she won't want to learn and will rebel when she gets older. When you are brought up in a family who yells and curses all the time, that is child abuse. I got a taste of that myself. I empathize with you because you are single and have no help, but I'm sure if you put your mind to it, you could think of some things to make you and your children's lives better. You need to take a break. Work with her in a calm manner. If she doesn't get it, try to explain it in a mild tone. If she still doesn't get it....let it go for a few days but keep having her get her homework and use the same calm, mild method. When she sees you are not going to explode, she may suddenly want to do the very best she can to please you. When she gets something right, praise her. You expectations are too high for a six year old, I'm guessing. Another issue could be is that she does this to get a reaction out of you, or in other words, "attention". You probably have to work and are busy all the time at home and maybe she wants interaction with you and knows this is the way to get it. I wish you well in this situation and if things do not get better, you should probably see a doctor for yourself and then her.

Answer 3

My mom did that but, she wouldn't scream or anything she would make me feel guilty that I didn't know that, she thinks I am way behind in everything even though I am far ahead. Point is, everybody doesn't understand something. Try taking a break for a few minutes. If she doesn't know then don't keep repeating the question because SHE DOESN'T KNOW. Try explaining the problem to her, maybe give her then answer then explain why it's that answer. Then you can ask her teacher to help her with it.

Answer 4

I'm not sure medication is the answer but you really need some help. I'm not being judgmental here, but it appears you need some help with parenting skills. The fact you are interested enough in your daughters future to help with her homework rather than just ignoring her is a big plus. I think you just need some help learning coping skills. The school may be able to help or perhaps the local college has some adult classes.

Please do not get discouraged you can do it.

Answer 5

If you feel yourself or your daughter getting overwhelmed, just take a 5 minute break from the homework. It doesn't seem like much but doing a few stretches or stopping for a little snack will give you and your daughter a little stress break before continuing. My first graders do the 'I don't know' thing a lot and the little 3-5 minute break works wonders to jog their minds :-)

Answer 6

Who is the adult here? Get some friggen help because you need to make sure you daughter grows up with good self esteem and feels smart. Smarten the hell up seriously because you are going to leave a negetive lasting impression on someone who doesnt deserve to be treated that way. By the way swearing and screaming at your little girl is ABUSE, and you do need help, you are way to stressed out but that is no exuse. Hurry up and take a vacation or something, there has to be family to help you or something because you are taking out your frustrations and anger on a poor little girl who is going to grow up messed up because you cant be an adult. My mother raised three kids on her own and never acted that way so there is no exuse for your behavior at all.

Answer 7

What really helped me when I found myself getting mad at my son for the same kind of thing over and over was to come up with a plan, rather than flying off the handle again.

Since I knew the same situation was certain to come up again, I figured out something to do instead of getting mad, Instead of the automatic reaction I had been using.

Sorry I don't remember the details, but it was a number of years ago. Anyway, I hope that helps.

Answer 8

We all have different ways of learning, for some it is auditory (what we hear we retain) for some it is visual (what we see we retain)and then there are those who are kinesthetic (which is more about feelings) This could explain why your daughter retains some information, but is confused by other information. There is a method of teaching called accelerated learning, that combines these three methods, which has had some great success. Try offering your daughter a variety of suggestions for learning and see her response. I doubt she is being obstinate just confused and hence under pressure...

Answer 9

You need parenting classes. And, anger management might be nice. I'd even go as far as to suggest psychotherapy.

If you don't, you'll be in court, and your child will probably be a ward in the court system... and we don't want that, right?

Seriously, parents all get overwhelmed, and have few clues when it comes to being good parents. Parenting classes are VERY helpful, and usually are quite enjoyable.

Sooo... therapy, and some anger management, and parenting classes... not the drugs.

Answer 10

In the book "Permanent Healing" by Daniel Condron, he says that anger has the mental/emotional cause of "sustained misunderstanding. Incomplete understanding. Unfulfilled desires." and the remedy is "Be willing to release the past by initiating the learning process anew. You, as an adult, cause the fulfillment of your desires. Nobody else can do this for you." Pick up a DVD called "The Secret"... has a lot of stuff in it about changing your thoughts to change your life.