I get my 17 year old daughter to clean my son's bedroom b/c she is a female. A friend says its wrong. Am I?

Question

The way I see it, her being a girl and all it would be better for her to clean up my son's room. I think it will give her good experience and a good work ethic for when she has to clean her own kids room someday. Besides my son is only 11 now and she's been doing it now for years. Well, my buddy at work found out about this and he says its really wrong what i am doing. Well, I just have to disagree - for one I bought a car for my daughter and my son only gets 5 dollars a week allowance. However, that really doesn't even matter that much because the fact is, she is a girl and he is a boy and I figure a couple more years and he can mow the lawn. I never made my daughter do that. Oh yeah, my daughter also makes him snacks or dinner sometimes if mom isn't home and my buddy thinks that is messed up too. I guess I feel that a woman should be doing a woman's job. Am I wrong here?

Answer 1

I think you are very wrong. If anything, you are asking her to do it for the WRONG reasons (being female).

You are putting her in position where she grows up to be her husband's free servant (because she's female!) and your son will expect his wife (because she's female!) to clean up his messes. See if you are OK with this. I think that would cause them trouble in finding a life partner. I'd never live with a guy who thinks that cleaning is my job. Now, I'll clean, but I do it because it needs to be done and I'm better at it, but not because I'm female and it is my job.

It is OK to ask her to help him to clean up his room because she's his sister and he needs help. This is the olny reason how it can be OK in my opinion.

Everyone is supposed to clean up their own messes. 11 years old should be capable of cleaning his own room for gossake.

If you want her to contribute more because you bought her a car you might concider something else as a contribution. Like grocery shopping for the whole family (once in a while), key point here - for the whole family.

Answer 2

Dude...seriously...listen to your buddy! Yes, you are most certainly wrong. My sons are 10 and 13. I am the only female in the house. I have NOT cleaned their rooms since they were 8 years old!!! I've made them do it. By the time my oldest son was 11, he was earning his own money mowing lawns, he was doing his own laundry, keeping his room SPOTLESS, and offering to help other people with various odd jobs.

My youngest son is 10. He babysits a little boy across the street 2 days a week. He also keeps his room clean, offers to help me clean the house, sorts through the clean clothes starts folding them and putting them away.

They BOTH make their OWN snacks. And at times, their own dinner. Depends on what we're having or if I feel like cooking. Sometimes it's nothing more than sandwiches and chips, but the kids are able to make them on their own.

Your job as a father is to teach your son how to be a man. You aren't doing that! You are teaching him that all he has to do is sit back and everyone else will do whatever he wants and get him whatever he wants when he wants it. You're teaching him the opposite of being a man.

What's wrong with you!!!????????? Teach your son what he needs to know to be a real man. You can't start after they're already in their teens, you have to start when they're little. Now it's almost too late, and you're going to have a HUGE fight on your hands whenever you decide to stop being lazy, grow a pair (if you can, otherwise strap on a pair), and tell him to clean his own freakin' room!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

Yes i think that you are wrong. Your son is 11! He can clean his own room. My husband has 3 kids ages 4, 6, and 8. And they all clean there rooms. Why make your daughter do all the dirty work just because you bought her a car. Isn't that what mothers and fathers are suppose to do? I'm sure you'll buy your son a car too. I can understand giving her some chores to do but don't make her do everything especially clean your sons room when he is old enough and capable to do it. Shes old enough to get a job if she doesn't have one already. Teach your son some responsibility. Theres not always going to be a woman in his life to clean up after him. And your daughter won't always be there to clean his room. Make your son help you do things that needs to be done. Just because your daughter is a girl and your son is a boy doesn't mean anything.

Answer 4

....there is so much wrong here where do I begin? I almost want to give you my cell number so you can call me because all I have to say I don't think I can get it all in but I will try. First that is sexist just because she is a girl does not mean that she should know how to clean. What does that teach both of your children about society, roles, relationships and things like that. If you want to teach good work ethic and give them experience how about teaching them responsibility and accountability for their own things. Like your daughter cleans her own room and your son cleans his. Also if you bought her a car and you give him 5 dollars for allowance that was your choice as a parent. Now unless you are making her pay for the car by doing chores then it isn't fair. Its nothing wrong with her assisting with the dinner and snacks if mom is not able only if mom is out doing something that she needs to do. however if mom is out chilling and has 17 parenting oh that is just trifling. Also what is a woman's job, wtf*? Since I can't lay hands on you how about you touch the screen and i pray for you also in the mean time in between time look up the child labor laws.

Answer 5

It is wrong to make a girl do that just because she is a girl. Maybe instead of having "womens jobs" and "mens jobs" make a chore wheel. Put an arrow in the center and have each child spin the arrow. Whatever they land on they do. But an eleven year old should be old enough to clean his own room. If yuor daughter doesn't like to cook for your son maybe buy microwavable things that he can just put in and wait a couple of minutes to eat it. Microwavable popcorn is a healthy and easy snack to make. You could also get fruit and he could just pull it out of the refridgerator, wash it, and eat it. It's that simple. Eleven year olds should have some respnsibilities, if you feel that your son may be too young or immature to cook then talk to your daughter and explain the way you feel. But don't make your daughter do something because it is a "woman job" that is wrong and sexist to women everywhere. Women may become offended if people make thir daughters do everything because they are girls.

Answer 6

i see the problem.. she's 17 and has been doing it for years.. just how old was she when she began cleaning ? are you Italian ? female mother Italians, cater 2 males of all ages.. you being the dad, feels it the womens place.. male's need 2 learn 2 cook and clean too.. 2 be able 2 take care of themself's if there is no women in their life.. who's gonna clean his room, when daughter moves out ? when your son turns 13 maybe 14, he will want 2 be with his friends.. and maybe not want 2 cut the lawn.. at 11, he is well over the age 2 make his own snacks.. wow.. i was 9, when i began cleaning my brothers room.. and my brother grew up 2 be a nothing.. lived off my mom, till he died at the age of 62.. didn't work.. didn't have too, cause moma, paid 4 everything he needed.. cigs, booze, clothes.. bummer..

Answer 7

You are wrong here. An 11 year old boy needs to clean his own room and a 17 year girl will only learn to hate you by doing other peoples chores! You want her to have a work ethic, she's old enough to get a job. Leave the kid alone!

Answer 8

A WOMAN's job is to maintain a house hold. A 17 year girl shouldn't clean after her 11 year old brother. He should learn to clean his room himself. You're teaching your son that he can make a mess and a woman has to clean it up. I have nothing against a woman staying home taking care of the house, but you're teaching your kids the wrg thing.

Answer 9

Get real, I don't even want to read on, All I read was your Question and that just made me just want to answer. First of all
your son is 11 years old get him to clean up after himself. And
apologize to your daughter. If he's old enough to play outside
with his friends and make a mess in his room, he's old enough
to clean up after himself. This clean up should of started at the
age of 3, YES 3. Have you ever heard the song CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP EVERYBODY CLEAN UP. And that means everybody. As they get older the chores are given to them,so
they can take the responsibility of help keeping the house clean,
and keeping their room clean. Now as for his snacks he is able
to make something simple and dinner that's okay she can do that until he's a little older, I wouldn't want a 11 year old cooking over
the stove and burning down the house, Don't take that chance.
wait until he's at least 15 to 16 years old then let him take over.
If you don't teach him now he is not knowing what to do when
he becomes a bachelor.

Answer 10

Well, to a certain extent, yes. Its nice you gave her a car while he only gets 5 bucks a week because she does clean up his room. But its for the wrong reason, Just because shes female doesnt mean shes the maid. Teach him how to clean up his own room, teach her how to mow the lawn. even it out. but let her keep the car and him the allowance for now ;]

Think of it this way:
How is he going to clean up his room when hes out of the house?
or how is she going to know how to mow the lawn when its 2 feet high because her husband has broken legs?

good luck with your situation. be cool.