I have a 3yo boy who is potty training resistant. I tried to begin training @ 1.5 years.?

Question

At that time, he showed signs of readiness. He then simply began refusing to go to the potty & then began to tell me, while laughing, that he just peed or pooped in his pants. He REFUSES to sit on the potty at all. I have tried to even offer going outside or in the shower. I have taken diapers away completely & he had an absolute meltdown. I have bought a seat to fit on the toilet, a step stool, & a potty chair. He refuses each way. He peed his pants yesterday & kicked and screamed for me to change him & put a diaper back on. I explained no more diapers. We are using underwear with vinyl pants over them. He hasn't pooped in 2 days now & I am getting worried. He is NOT afraid of the potty; he is just extremely strong willed. I did manage to get him to pee in the shower this morning but he refused the rest of the day, peeing in the floor tonight. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Drop it for a while. This is not about potty training - it's about control and he obviously has it. If you don't make an issue of it, forget about it for a while, you might have better luck when you try to resume. boys are usually slower at this than girls. Learn to pick your battles - he's only 3 - and he has HOW many more years in the home?

Answer 2

1.5 years? Wow. Pushing potty training at a young age on a child is a major no no. And can cause major problems for your child. That could be the reason he's not wanting to do it now. Obviously you stopped and decided to try again now because he wasn't ready then. Potty training is all about consistancy. You've got to take him to the potty every hr or so. Remind him. Most of all you got to be patient. Read stories about the potty, let him help you create a potty chart, hang it on the wall and reward him with stickers. Even if he only sits on it clothed or unclothed show praise for showing interest. He'll do it when hes ready. It will probably be a shock. He'll just up and decide todays the day. Try cherrios for aiming. Turn pottying into a game. It's normal for a child to not want to do #2 in the potty at 1st. You gotta work at the indvidually. Some kids just dont do both right away. I'd continue with pull ups and tell your child when you visit the store that when he starts pottying he'll be able to wear big boy underwear with his favorite characters on them. And show him the underwear. That way hes working towards something. Be paitent. Be constant... and most of all use lots of praise :)

Answer 3

I know a lot of people that train at 2 years, but they never seem to be finished until the child turns 3 years old.
With me I try when they start saying "I go pee pee" or show some realization and if they stray from the training I try again when they show interest again. The best thing I have done is drop it a while.
Watch out, though it is probably negative, you are giving your child a lot of attention for not going on the potty (just a thought).

Answer 4

Relax, unfortunately, it's completely up to him, and he knows it!
My first son was 3 1/2, and my mother-in-law basically made me force him into it (it worked without traumatizing him, thankfully!). My 2nd son just gave up his pull-ups this summer, and he turned 4 in early September. He showed a readiness and willingness at age 1, but we never got completely there, and then it became a control issue.
If you relax about it, and just give him the option of using the toilet or potty, it becomes less about him giving up the control and more about him being a "big boy". I would go back to pull-ups, they're less messy than changing all of his clothing each time he goes in his pants. I know it gets frustrating changing messes when you know they're capable, but keep the mood light, and just talk to him while changing him "I bet you'll be really glad when you're a big boy and can use the potty, instead of having Mommy change you like a baby...", just make it all about him and his CHOICE.
It also seemed to help when my youngest was around a boy just a year and a half older than him, he was close to the same age, but a "big boy". Dad and older brother were just too much older to be an influence.

Answer 5

Do not push potty training on him. Make him feel comfortable with the bathroom maybe by putting a new book in there to read while he sits on the toilet. I often had to leave my kids alone for privacy. And as for not pooping, my 2 out of 4 kids were the same way. If you get too worried and it has gone on too long then talk to his doctor and mention Miralax. It is a powder that you mix in any drink and it helps.Beware that it may help very well.

Answer 6

No..you don't beat his behind like some idiot suggested earlier. Jeez it's a wonder they knew how to type and spell so well being a polydactyly. Just don't press the issue. If your son sees that this is giving him leverage in a world where he generally has no control, he will continue to resist being trained. Drop it for a few weeks. Come back to it at another time. Maybe he will initiate it.
In the meantime get that kind of diaper that he can feel get wet. I guess those are supposed to be uncomfortable.

Answer 7

This may sound strange.. but try rewarding him with a small amount of candy. Not exactly the healthiest thing, but I swear by it. Simple show him that after he goes pee or poop in the potty like a big boy, that he gets to pick out a piece of candy..

Also, try letting him decide when he wants to go. If he is as strong willed as you say, he may just want to do things on his own terms..

Answer 8

You are giving him too many choices. Pick one way for him to go to the potty. We used the padded seat that fits onto the regular seat easy...no mess. Take away the vinyl pants. Calmly and clearly tell him: You are a big boy. Big boys use the potty to peepee and poo (what ever words you use). You will use the potty from now on.

I did this with my second one, she was just too busy to be bothered to go to the bathroom. I took her to the mall, the day after we had that discussion. I think we went in and out of EVERY bathroom in the mall because she said she had to go she didn't go...then she had an "accident". She had to walk through a whole store with wet jeans to get to another bathroom...that was the last accident.

Remember KISS KEEP IT SIMPLE SWEETHEAT!

Answer 9

Our little man was 3 1/2 and making no progress, I was so frustrated! I was using the same methods you described, then I found the book "Toilet training in less than a day". So I backed off for a couple weeks, let him wear diapers, didn't push, or even mention it, then tried the method. I couldnt believe how fast he learned. It's been almost 6 months and he's had ONE accident.

http://www2.jsonline.com/lifestyle/parenting/jan03/potty010903.asp

Answer 10

I had almost the exact same problem with my daughter. I don't know what happened, but one day, she suddenly decided she was ready to be a big girl and use the potty. I know that that answer isn't really very helpful, but maybe all you can do is relax a little bit, not emphasize it quite so much, and see what happens. It worked for me.