Ok, so here it is. I got one of those blog thingies only so my friends would stop bothering me. Well, a few days in, I was getting friend requests from bands and people I knew and some I didn't. One of the one's that I hadn't previously known was a bloke, five years older than me (I am 19), who lives in the same town as I do. Well, after a few weeks of getting to know him, I met him in a pubic place. I brought a friend and was safe. No harm. Well, I get the feeling he likes me but I have my reserves. For one, my parents would flip about his age and how I met him. Also, I am not certain of I like him back in that form. I am a naturally mistrusting and cynical person. I also don't like getting too close to people. I have thrown every test I can at him to see if he isn't just after another lay and he, to my shock, has passed them all. I don't know what to do...help!
2006-10-17 14:42:43 · 11 answers · asked by Smo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I was 19, one of my friends who was also 19 at the time said something like you just said to me. She was going out with this guy who was a few years older than her, but as soon as they became very close as a couple, she got freaked out, and decided to break up. And she did. She was a mistrusting person and cynical.
Thing is, the reason she got freaked out was because she didn't find it comfortable to accept someone...if you understand what I mean. Going out with someone involves accepting the person for as he is in your life, and that was a difficult thing to do for this friend of mine, as she was trying to complete herself by herself, and didn't manage to create a space for him. So as soon as they got closer, she felt threatened that her world would break because of him.
As you have thrown tests at him, I think you are interested in him. So as he's passed them all, then why not give him a chance? I'm not telling you to go out with him now though, you can just stay as friends and see what happens. Then when you guys are conformable enough you guys can get closer bit by bit.
At some point in your life, you are gonna have to learn how to get close to someone. It might end up like how it did to my friend, because things don't always work out at once. But you might learn how to trust someone. And if you can learn it, that's a useful thing, as it reduces your anxiety.
What your parents might think is not the most important thing to think about now. After all, you would go out with someone for yourself, not for them. And 5 years is not that bad. Just concentrate on finding out what you want first, but don't let your mistrusting mind misguide you.
2006-10-17 15:31:51 · answer #1 · answered by ono 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to trust people at times, especially if you have had bad experiences in the past.
If this guy is for real he will wait until you are good and ready to progress your relationship...as for your parents, yes they will be a bit upset aout the age difference but at the end of the day they can't stop you dating him, they can only warn you off and if he treats you well then they will warm to him eventually.
If you really want to start a relationship with this guy just take it day by day and let him earn your trust, as I said, if he is really interested in you and not just sex then he will understand.
2006-10-17 15:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by debs1701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, date the guy for a while and see if anything develops. It's not like there is some unwritten law that says you gotta shack up with him Immediately. If he turns out to be a decent guy, I'm sure your parents would get over it. If not, well you drop him and it's a non issue.
2006-10-17 14:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by Akfek_Branford 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just continue to get to know him better and see what happens. There is no rush in deciding whether or not you want to be with him in a romantic sense but there's no harm in having another friend.
2006-10-17 20:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by Yaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well now a days meeting people online is kinda like meeting in a bar.. but ur not drunk.. one also don't trust everyone.. people always tell the good before they tell the bad.. there is nothing wrong w/ making friends. i met one and my dad hired him at his company. so really there is nothing wrong w/ meeting people. and don't worry about the age thing. its only 5 yrs not 20 yrs..... look at it from all point of views.... best of luck...
2006-10-17 15:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by kelly p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are a woman and can probably wait X amount of time for sex, find out if he really can! If he is still around after four months, maybe he is for real.
2006-10-17 14:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Also can't see why you find the age an issue.
You're old enough to decide if you should be alone with him. If you can't then don't.
If you have doubts then steer clear.
2006-10-18 01:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you like him then you should give it a chance because what do you have to lose? But if he is one of those preverted people then I wouldn't take a chance
2006-10-17 14:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by rhapmaster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should give him a chance but still be very careful u stay safe
2006-10-17 18:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by rachel d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get out much do you. people are crafty! get a life - go out, leave the blog alone, join dateline - do something
2006-10-17 15:12:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋