How do working mothers do it????

Question

This question in no way is intended to open up a debate about whether I should be a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home. My kids have flourished in their preschool.
In a 5-week temp assignment, I had to take off 9 times because my kids would get sick with SOMETHING (asthma, cold, throwing up, etc.)
My husband doesn't get sick time yet, and he makes enough in 11 minutes to cover an hour of me working, so he doesn't take off.
When I was little, we had a Mommaw, who picked us up from school when we were sick so my mom could work. Now my mom is the mommaw, and like most 50-year-old women now, she works full-time.
We don't have many friends, and my sister can pick one of my kids up if they happen to get sick on Monday (her one day off). The town I live in doesn't have a "sick kid" daycare.
How do moms, particularly moms of more than one child, manage to hold down full-time jobs in that situation???

Okay, so what I'm getting so far is that either there's not a lot I can do about this for now, or I should agree with the asses who want to say that I'm not taking care of my kids.
They have asthma, that is brought on by changes of weather. Taking them out of school is not going to make God decide to not send cold fronts.
The 9-out-of-25 days was unusual. I haven't had to pick them up for a month. Sept is hard.
Saying a four-year-old flourishes in preschool does NOT mean that he's perfect. If you have the one perfect kid in the world, who neither gets sick nor spends a night being defiant, I envy you. I had an issue with him one night with the homework. He has, however, made HUGE strides in developement, thanks mostly to teachers who are better trained than I at helping him reach is potential.
Answer the question or say you don't know, but do NOT presume to know me, my family, or our situation enough to justify belittling me from your self-appointed seat of parental perfection.

Answer 1

If your child has asthma, you can control it by talking to a dr. the dr will give u a plan ..my child has asthma and you need to take this seriously...you should plan ahead and take medications so that they won't have attacks...

Go to an allergist. my daughter has asthma too and when i was working as a single mother i had to take her to the emergency room twice and i did have personal time, but my boss was such as ass that he gave me such a hard time about it. then he ended up firing me. which i thought was unfair.

Answer 2

I finally decided that I can't work full-time with my two children (ages 2 and 5 months). I work at home and have had the same job for almost 7 years testing software. I need a quiet atmosphere to concentrate.
After I had my daughter, I adjusted a little. She was still little and I have a nanny that works in the house while I work. Once my son came along, and now that my daughter is in her terrible twos, the noise level is interfering with my work.
So, I've decided I was tired of that career and want something different. My last day will be at the end of the month.
I will be researching investment opportunities because my husband and I want to open our own business.
But, in the meantime, I will stay at home and keep the nanny for a while, and enjoy my kids even more.
I do enjoy watching my kids grow up before my eyes. It was nice to be able to work and step out whenever they reach a new milestone. It was the perfect setup, but it's not the right career for me any longer. I have Mommy brain.
I just don't think I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home Mom. That job is way too hard for me. I have nothing but respect for women who do that.

Answer 3

Well personally work has always been my break away from my children. I am a single mom and I worked while going to college full-time + (I took extra hours to graduate early). It is really hard but sometimes the best way to do it is try to find a job that you can do while your husband is home from work. Maybe find something on the weekends or something for a few hours in the evening. Children will get sick in daycare because they are exposed to more germs. My mom kept my daughter before I started college so she hadn't been exposed to much and when I started college and she started going to daycare she was sick about once a month. It will take a while but they should build up immunities to a lot of illnesses. Another option for you would be finding something you could do from home.

Answer 4

Working in school districts, I had a parent with a similiar concern as she started a job (she was on her 3 month probation period as she was being trainned).

From her stand point, she decided to find a weekend job (friday/sat/sunday) as her child had a virus that just wouldn't go away.

Now she is able to hold down a part time morning position and available to have flexible "child-friendly" schedule to have a night shift if she calls in "a family illness".

At interview, I always state my schedule for school and how it will change each semester. I request to have flexibility. I do not accept a job that requires non-flexibility as my education is important. Just as your children are important. 9 days out of 35 is quite a lot actually if really add that up. I hope the "sickness" was not sever.

I don't actually know if this applies to your situation, but can evaluate it by your own observation; Is their sickness brought on by mom/dad working and a form of attachment? I know some kids who can fake being sick or so, when in fact they are depressed or lonely for their parents.

I was one of those kids in elementry and middle school. My mom was a single mother of three, working, college and obviously a mother. I had my grandmother, sometimes aunt, but mainly my mom. A few situations I had to wait in office for 2 hours cuz my mom was not able to get off. As long as I didn't need emergancy assistance (bleeding, high fever, discoloration, dehydration etc), I was "fine" enough to stay in office. That is when I was truly sick. When I wasn't, I would just go back to class and "tough it out".

Answer 5

It's so hard! I work from 10 am to 7 pm tuesday through saturday, and sometimes I even have to work an extra day. By the time I get home, it's dinner time, bath time, homework, and bed time. I get 1 1/2 hours with my six year-old son. It's sad, but I also have a very forgiving boss who understands that I'm a single parent, and don't have anyone else if my son gets sick. You just have to speak openly and honestly with your employers and find out how flexible they are. My boss will allow me to come in late (if my son's not feeling well), so I can take him to my mom's house or something. Fortunatley, my mom is available on occasion to watch him. My employer understands that my son has asthma, and gets sick frequently, but he also knows that I will always make up the work. I don't procrastinate on any of my tasks at work because I never know when I'll get a phone call from my son's school telling me I need to pick him up. It's frustrating, but at least I know I got my job done on time. Good luck!

Answer 6

Boy, I don't envy you. I work part time so I think I have the best of both worlds. I am lucky enough to have a boss who is very kind and flexible.

Here is how my husband and I deal with the sick kids.:

I work part time so I take off 2 times to his 1 time taking off. It is only fair. It sounds as if you may need your job so even tho your husband makes more than you, you cant afford to lose your job. IF you are working 40 hours and he is working 40 hours, he should take a turn once in awhile. If the illnesses are close together, he shouldn't mind taking a turn. Sometimes we both have days where we need to be at work so he will go in very early; i call in late and we "tag team" it. I go in late and he leaves a little early..It is pretty fair.

Good luck

Answer 7

I understand you don't want a debate, but here's just an observation. If I had a child with a chronic condition, I would ensure I was the mom - there all the time for the child. If I didn't have a job where I could fly out of the office on a moment's notice, I would be a stay at home mom. You should also be able to rely on your husband, regardless of the finances you hold so dear.

Answer 8

Taking off 9 times during a 5-week period is a lot, and normally doesn't happen so often. This is why it is usually not a big problem. I usually establish contacts with other parents in the same school or neighbors , so they can be emergency contacts in case kids get sick/

Answer 9

Poor thing, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place! Good thing (if you can call it that) is that you are certainly not alone. My mom raised 3 of us by herself. I am pregnant (and pretty miserable) but I can't afford to take off work. My husband is in school and works full time as well. I am sure it will be much more difficult when our child is born, so I am really in no position to complain. So, I am sorry I cannot offer any advice, as I am not quite in your situation, but I can offer lots of support! Yay for you! You bust your behind AND take care of those kiddos!

Answer 10

I unfortunatly have a boss who is a jerk. He doesn't have kids, so he is not very understanding when it comes to sick kids. One time a co-worker called in 2 days in a row, the first because her kid woke up with his eyes red and swollen so she took him to the doctor, and the second because the doctor told her to keep him home for 24 hours. I walked into my office managers office and overheard the doctor I work for complaining about this co-worker and when he saw me behind him, he asked me "What kind of back up system do you have if one of your kids gets sick?" I flat out told him "I AM the backup system." A mother should never be made to feel guilty for taking time off work to deal with a sick child. I am lucky that my kids haven't been sick much, but I don't ask my husband to take off work simply because he is the one who carries the insurance on the family, I feel that it is more important that he keep in good standing with his job.

I am lucky that I am in a position at my job that I feel my job is pretty secure, so I don't worry about calling in sick if one of my kids needs me. I also have my daughter in a private home, so if she gets sick, unless it is something very contageous, her babysitter will keep her.

Answer 11

I had to work nights for a long time. Now things with the second husband are in the crapper and we have a 15 month old together. Looks like it's back to zombie land! It's really hard, but at least I can be with her during the day.