I am engaged 2 a wonderful man since May. We spend alot of time 2gether. I see him almost everyday exept when he travels 4 work. We were having our ups and downs last year & in Feb I thought we were done 4 good. But I had 2 change my self 4 the better in order 4 our relationship 2 work. He saw a dramatic change in me & asked me 2 marry him. And I fell head over heals in love with him. But sometimes I get insecure. So this summer I found an email address in his room. I went home & checked who it belongs 2 out of curiousity. I did some investigation & it belongs 2 a woman in England. But he hasn't been there. I found a phone number also in his room 2 weeks ago. I called that cell # & it belongs to a woman. She sounded older. I asked her if she was married & she said she was. I haven't asked him about these. Should I forget about it? He said I am the love of his life & he would never leave me. Our wedding date is fixed & we R going through marriage preperation classes also.
2006-10-17 13:47:49 · 24 answers · asked by cluelesschickus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all you need to confront him about what you found. Then you guys can go from there.
2006-10-17 13:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shouldn't snoop no matter how insecure you get. But since you did find out this information, you probably should confront him. Let him know the truth as to why you went behind his back to find this information. You do not have the "right" to dismiss your actions if he did keep this other woman a secret either.
Maybe you should talk open and very honestly to your fiancee about when you're feeling insecure and maybe the two of you can figure out why this happens. He should be able to tell you about occurances like these and you should be able to trust that he will. But you should also trust him enough to not have to snoop. Perhaps these are good topics (trust & honest communication) to focus on in your marriage preparation classes.
Good Luck to you! Remember, any relationship takes work for it to work.
2006-10-17 21:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know u think i'm immature or however u spell it because i'm pretty young giving u advice, but i actually think i can help u out. Okay well u said that you found her e-mail address and phone# right? so do u assume he's doing something? Maybe u should ask him if he has other feelings towards other women. OR if he is more attracted to women in england. Ask him things that relate to that to get something out of him. Ask him if he had a past relationship with another woman from england or if he was with somebody that moved there. MAYBE she's like his penpal or something. IF u think he wouldn't leave u then trust ur heart. If u think u guys are meant for eachother, take a chance. IT'LL ALL WORK OUT FINE! don't sweat it. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do anything to you or to hurt you!
2006-10-17 20:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by annetteXskye 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
plz, before u walk down that isle to him, ask him. It'd be such a bad thing if you marry a man who has problems with commitment. That's sad. Ask all the questions you feel you need to know and if he don't answer them, call the wedding off. I bet he'll answer then, and if he still don't then you know. Ask him in class one night. You are intitled to know all you need to know about him, the two of you are becoming one. That's a bug step. Congrads by the way.
2006-10-17 20:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by missinterlectual 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok.
Number 1. Stop with the 2 and 4 rather than to and for. It is annoying.
Number 2. Don't ever change to be with someone, If you do, you will never be yourself again.
Number 3. Ask him who the numbers are. If he has nothing to hide then your set.
2006-10-17 20:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by dj nkro 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are running to conclusions too fast it is not likely for a maqn to cheat on a woman with someone that is half a continent away if he was crazy about that lady he would never have proposed to you don't you think? If it bugs you so much ask him about it but i would not just make any conclusion based on what you have.
2006-10-17 22:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by ericktravel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel its worth risking the relationship by confronting him about it? Or would it be more harmful to your relationship by keeping it inside? That's a decision you have to make......I would personally ask him casually about it.....I couldn't go into a marriage with that hanging over my head....always worrying that there was something going on with him and those other women......and are there others? Of course, I have an over active imagination......so I freak over stuff like that.....
2006-10-17 20:53:51 · answer #7 · answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So...basically you changed yourself for him, he liked it and proposed,and you think he is cheating on you.
How about this--grow up now. Why the heck did you change for ANYONE?! He should love YOU for who YOU are, not someone he THINKS you are.
Honestly, talk to him about your insecurities. Why are you so insecure about your relationship?
If you continue on this path, you are going to have a rude awakening when marriage doesn't fix anything.
Without trust, a relationship is nothing more than glorified strangers.
You have to learn how to trust him.
In other words: TALK TO HIM!!
2006-10-17 21:05:03 · answer #8 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have a reason to worry ... HOWEVER HE DEFINITELY has a reason to worry. You don't trust him .. plain and simple.
Your relationship with never work with your lack of trust. You are constantly trying to play Ms. Columbo ... and it aint gonna work.
Your statement gives no indication that he has ever cheated on you, yet you don't trust him ... I dont think it is him ... I dont think you trust anyone.
Sorry for the brutal truth; but you have to get a hold of these things if you are ever going to make ANY marriage work.
2006-10-17 20:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by ValleyR 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. I tried to read this question and got bogged down by how much I cant stand for people to use numbers instead of words...Gads B 4 U rite agin plz convert to English.
2006-10-17 20:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by donamarie_1 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You have some trust issues you really need to work on, How do you think he would feel if he knew you were going through his things? If he say's he loves you, and you love him, then you either need to fess up to what you've done and talk aboput it, or move on, but really, for your sake, get some help!
2006-10-17 20:52:29 · answer #11 · answered by conniechung 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋