my relationship with my mom is a mess, we dont speak. i feel like because of him she is so angry and bitter now. we would never talk about him, i dont know much of him. when i got married i dropped his last name.soon after i was born, i was told by mom, that she cought him with a 16yearold. sometimes i feel like looking for him so he can apologize to my mom, and then maybe she will be happy. i dont have the need to meet him. when i was living with my mom, i usually thought that she wouldnt love me cause i remainded her of him, i went thru alot cause of her, but never blamed her. am the only child she has, but she loves to death more her dogs than me, am not kidding. i dont hate the dogs. they are the only ones that make her happy. but its really sad to me our relationship, and her life no love or friends. now that am a mom...I WOULD NEVER PUT MY KID what she put me thru or TREAT them like she did me. what should i do?
2006-10-17 13:45:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my mom is not the type of person that will openly talk to you. so i really dont want to talk to her, we are not close at all. its weird talking to her. i was raised with my grandparents i guess thats why. and i dont feel it in my heart to find him for me, non the less so my kids can know him.
2006-10-17 13:58:04 · update #1
You have to remember that your whole life, you only heard your mom's side of things. You don't really know what happened with your dad. Maybe you should consider finding your dad. Not so he can apologize to your mom. You shouldn't get involved in that. But because he's your dad. Because your child will then have a grandfather. If things don't work out with him, then you atleast tried. You won't have to wonder "what if".
It sounds like you mom has many issues. None of them are your fault, you are just the victim of them. Love her and be there for her when you can. You can not change her or her life. Learn from her mistakes. Be the mom to your baby that you wish she had been for you.
Good luck...
2006-10-17 13:52:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mom of 3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do some research. There is a good chance that your mother was not even married, when you were born. The reason i say this, is the situation with your last name. If she was married, there are records, do not believe everything she tells you about your father, there are always two sides to a story, you can do the detective work yourself and track your father, but be careful and before you ever approach him, do a background check on him, you need to protect your self. I have the feeling your mother has not been totally honest with you and used you to vent her rage. She is a sad person, one has to pity, but not associate with. You don't owe her anything, you have you own family now. She loves her dogs more than you, let her know that
you would like to spend time with her, but you don't want to take anything away from her beloved dogs. Maybe she gets the message. Good Luck.
2006-10-17 20:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peachy, I wish you the best of luck in the world.
I hope someday that you will find your father, and maybe you will see a different lite.
I hate that you are in this situation. I bet once you have kids of your own, they will see a different view of their parents than what you saw.
I regret not being around my children when they were growing up, now I am paying for it. My son never lets me forget it when he has a few drinks. I just hope that he has kids of his own someday, because I am sure that he will treat them differently than what I did.
He has always mentioned that he will always be at his kids ball games in school and playing with them every chance he has.
I believe him, because I already see it in my daughter when I see my grandson with her.
Unless a person has never been there, then they do not understand.
Good Luck Peachy, and I know you will do great in life.
2006-10-17 20:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as someone whos father committed suicide, i view life differently now more then ever. my father was someone i could talk to better via email or letter then having a conversation on the phone. i think you should write your mom a letter---seeing as how youre not really sure about talking with her on the phone. i think that your mom was trying to protect you however at the same time, she was putting her hateful feelings for your father towards you, for whatever reason. i think that you should write her a letter because life is too short, too precious...too much. i think that regardless of the response, you will feel better getting it out there and knowing you did the right thing. i hope that things do resolve.
2006-10-17 21:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
go look for your dad you dont know what happen there is always 2 sides to a story . if for nothing else so you can tell him to go to hell
2006-10-17 20:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try talking to your mom, tell her how you feel maybe it has nothing to do with you maybe she has some unresolved issues with your dad
2006-10-17 20:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love your mom even more then she loves you
2006-10-17 20:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT FIRST GUY IS A CREEP. GET OFF THE NET. YOU SICK PERVERTED JERK
2006-10-17 20:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by TROUBLE 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
im here sweetheart, come to daddy
2006-10-17 20:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋