whats this mean, please help?
ok about a month ago, i spilled my guts to one of my friends, told her that i like her alot, and all this stuff, shes only 13. well she wrote me back and said she hasnt ever seen us as more thanfriends, and that she dont like me like that but she dont want it to ruin our 8 year frendship.. well..over the past month, I've been avoiding her, simply for my sake, just simply not to bring those feelings back up, cuz when I'm around her they all come back. but she emailed me yesterday, and said she was sad, becauze it was straining our friendship. and she wants things like they used to be, well i told her why i had been avoinding her, and she said she totatlly understood why. well, I know she dont like me like that now, but am I crazy to think there mite be sumthin in the future, cuz she was obvioulsy ( she said) she was really sad, seeing us like this, and since shes only 13, am i crazy to think there mite be sumthin in the next year or two? she also said, " dont take the rejection to heart
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13 minutes ago
that the reason was probably stupid anyway, whats that mean?
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3 days ago
and for those who say, I am punsihing her, I am not in any way. We have had very friendly discussions, and she understands why, things have been this way. And I have reassured her, promised her, that I will make things the way the used to. Do u really think I want to lose the friendship as well? I mean, that hurts.
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12 hours ago
I mean, its not like I'm ugly, I'm very atractive, and so is she. I mean I'm fit, I play varsity baseball, and am only a sophmore, It's not like I'm a geek or anything. And the same with her, she is very good lookin, has guys hitting on her all the time, and is on the national swim team, I just dont know what to do, cuz i swear to god i love her more than anything in this world
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3 days ago
i mean i just cant get over her, I have never in my life, liked anyone, or felt so strongly for somone. Believe me, this isnt a crush, I have had many, but htis is more
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4 days ago
but, since me and her are friends again, we were talking about this girl who likes me, but i dont like her... and the girl i like, said i should just tell her i wanna stay friends, just incase i ever change my mind....?? which is the exact same thing she told me.. what it mean??
2006-10-17 13:12:00 · 17 answers · asked by robinson z 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;
You can't make anybody love you you can only let yourself be freaking loved! Lots of truth there!
http://www.willyblues.com/
2006-10-17 13:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means she obviously isn't ready for anything more than friends right now. She misses you - be with her as her friend. If it's meant to be more than that, time will tell you that. You are both young. My daughter wasn't even allowed to date at 13, now she's 15 - gorgeous, varsity soccer/basketball, honor roll, totally cool and popular and she does not WANT to date. Maybe that is how your friend is and that's a very good thing in a young lady. She has her swim team and school and a LOT of growing up to do. Allow her total freedom to grow and explore. As the years go by, she might find that she has been in love with you this whole time and it will be even more special that you allowed her this time in her life to live as still a young person without the complexities of dating and boyfriends. Maybe not, but enjoy NOW and now she is your friend. Settle for a hug at the end of the night when you see her and just be happy for that. Make your life awesome in the meantime, you only have three more years until you are an adult and then you'll never ever be able to go back. Make those years mean something!
2006-10-17 13:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 15 she's 13.
Right now this feels like the love of your life and no one will ever take her place...yeah i felt that way too at 15 it wasn't until i was 20 that i really found out what love feels like. It's not that your feelings aren't strong they are and they are real but as you go through life you will find women who will make you feel far more intense believe me. Now onto the issue at heart.
She just wants to be friends because there is a security for her there you two have built up this friendship which for you eventually became something more but sadly not for her. It hurts like hell i know but if your feelings for her are as strong as you claim then love dictates that you abide by her decision and live with it. It is not meant to be and very little if anything on your part will make it so.
She wants to continue being just friends and your admission of affection has also hurt her in that it may mean an end to that friendship she has so long cherished. Friendship is a type of love and is often times stronger than romance you must make a choice now that will affect your relationship with her forever.
Can you as a friend and someone who loves her romantically deny your own feelings and continue to be her friend only, giving up any chance of becoming her lover? Or will you give in to your wants and deny the sacrifice this friendship requires? Will you choose to disconnect from her to save yourself from pain but inevitably causing her sorrow at the ending of your fellowship? She will recover of course but in doing so you may well lose her forever.
Choose what your conscience tells you for your head is victim to pride and the heart is victim to dreams denied.
Regret is a companion you do not want to invite.
2006-10-17 13:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by sprydle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you have heard this b4, but you will have many more loves. I know this makes you feel sick, hurt, upset and sad-but you will get over it. It sounds like to me that she really values you as a friend and honestly does not have "those" feelings for you. I had several guy friends in school that I had known my whole life that were good looking, popular, etc., but I would have never considered dating them. I thought of them as family-and she probably feels the same way. It is always easier for me to "avoid" someone when I am trying to get over them, so I know how you feel. Put your time into the things you like to do and eventually you will get those feelings for someone else. Do you really want to lose her as a friend? Who knows, maybe ten years from now she will be chasing after you! :)
2006-10-17 13:22:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, what a dilemma. It seems to me she might not be ready to have a relationship. or could she be gay? who knows. Ladies change there minds all the time. but if she tells you to "be friends" with another girl, maybe you should date someone, have you ever had a girlfriend before or is she your first crush?
Either way, you are both so very young and have so much going on with your sports and all.
Give it a year or so and maybe you'll find your way back to each other.
2006-10-17 13:35:06 · answer #5 · answered by talk4now2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks to me like you two are working it out. I think it says a LOT for the both of you, to know that there you are, YOUNG, yet, wise enough to talk the problem out. She sounds like a very sweet person who truly cares about you and likes you. If you let her go (as a friend), then you will never know if it could have developed in to more! Keep her as a freind, and wait and see what the good Lord has in store for you both.
2006-10-17 13:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rather of telling you what to do, enable me drop some understanding on you: a million) acquaintances make the perfect fanatics 2) 13 year olds might want to no longer be waiting for authentic relationships--she has a weigh down on 3 adult males: a movie movie star, a rock movie star, and a similar guy all 50 women in her type do, and doesn't imagine in authentic words about having a boyfriend. 3) Friendships fizzle with time besides, do not difficulty about ruining something by technique of starting off a relationship. 3.5) do not cover from her/avoid her because she doesn't like you that way. settle for that she doesn't, and paintings on making your self extra captivating commonly, particularly than attempting to get her. dangle round her as a lot as conceivable without being her lost doggy dogs following her everywhere. 4) If she isn't in touch in you, telling her how a lot you want her received't replace that. no longer something is a lot less captivating than being needy. however if you're a cool guy otherwise, the further she thinks you want her, the a lot less she will be ready to love you. You 2 shouldn't 'want' one yet another until eventually you've a a lot deeper relationship. (Exception: you would possibly want to attempt blowing her away with a grand, romantic, Cassanova gesture, yet when it doesn't paintings, you're carried out consisting of her--i do not advise it.) 4.5) common sense doesn't paintings right here--do not argue a case for your self. in basic terms be captivating and wait until eventually she turns into attracted. 5) you're literally not waiting for 5 yet! 6) If she isn't in touch in you, date or a minimum of flirt with different females. between the large differences between adult males and women is that females imagine that a guy who's with females is hotter than a guy without females. consequently, in case you initiate miraculous round truly some females and date some attractive ones, your buddy will initiate questioning you're a hottie and may want to attempt to thieve from the females you're flirting with. (extraordinary--i comprehend--a guy sees a warm woman with a bf and thinks it's going to be a lot difficulty to thieve her faraway from him that he might want to seem for someone unmarried--females do not imagine like that notwithstanding! they imagine a unmarried guy is one which could't get a woman!) I in basic terms said woman Pom's answer--she is familiar with her stuff too!
2016-12-04 22:46:47 · answer #7 · answered by stanberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, very difficult situation indeed. My gut tells me that ur feelings are not going to dissapear so trying to be "friends" is not realistic. With that said, you have to do the right thing for both of you and keep your distance. Right?
2006-10-17 13:15:06 · answer #8 · answered by angelinvestor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the nice guy friend, she see's you as like a brother. She probably understands that she should like nice guys but she doesn't. So either play around uintil she is damaged goods or get over her.
2006-10-17 13:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by E_E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having her friendship is better than not being with her at all, so just work on coping with that, and i know it's really hard, especially since you obviously like her so much, but try to not think about it too much. it's hard to tell, but she may be leaving doors open in case she changes her feelings. hang in there.
2006-10-17 13:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by waiting4winter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋