my husband and i want to foster.weve filled in initial forms but havent spoken to anyone yet .ever since i posted them ive been thinking all sorts what if the child doesnt get on with my child(7) ?what if i get so attached to them i dont want them to go?am i meant to "love this child"?anyone out there think like this?
2006-10-17 12:49:10 · 5 answers · asked by smiler 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My aunt and uncle were foster parents for many years as well as having three of their own. From the very start my cousins were made apart of the decision and it was explained to them that these kids had no family and they wanted to bring them there to show them what a family could be like. Over the years they had over 130 foster kids come and go in their lives and all but 2 got along well with the entire family. My aunt showed them every day that they were special and what having a stable loving family could be like. Yes they got attatche to the kids even when they knew they were only there for a matter of weeks, it is hard not to love a child that you know is hurting and many times they didn't want them to go but they always told the kids when they left how special they were and how much they cared and no matter what they were always in their heart. When my aunt died 3 years ago 94 of her "kids" came to the service to tell how she had touched their lives. What you are doing is one of the most selfless acts a person can do as well as teaching your child that although they have a good life not everyone is that blessed.
2006-10-17 13:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there isn't a yes or no to "am I meant to love this child". I think you need to show the child love, and let them experience the feeling of having someone love them and care for them. You dont have to love them as much as your own child, no one is expecting you to take them in and love them the same as yours right away.
You have to know ahead that they could leave at any time, but not be unattached because the child needs love and caring. If you can't go in it loving that child and knowing that you may get your heart broken if they take him/her away then you should re-think your desicion.
Another thing to think about is your 7 year old. Some children in the foster system have come from messed up families and because of that have some serious issues, which they sometimes take out by abusing (sexually, physically, verbally, etc) on other children in the house.
2006-10-17 20:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by dmercer12679 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids nanna is a foster mother and has 2 of her own she gets all the difficult children that have gone through ALOT and i was helping her when we lived with her and its very rewarding and you can stay in contact with the child after they leave but you also might like to just spend some one on one time with your child so they know they are still your number one and try and explain to them why you want to do this and what you would like from them if they don't get along and even to show the foster kids how to behave in your house so it helps you as well to get along with them. Hope all goes well it is very rewarding!!!
2006-10-18 00:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by motherof3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not foster kids, but my mother-in-law does. She adopted one of them. Your baby will always have a special place, but that doesn't mean you have to feel something in particular for the foster kid. Some of the ones my mother-in-law has are mean, hateful little things. BUT, having them raise hell at her house is much better than what they would be dealing with otherwise. I have all the respect in the world for foster parents... good luck!
2006-10-17 19:55:25 · answer #4 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was gonna do it but i thought the same thing.. i dont think i could give the kids up.. good luck girl if u are stong enough to do it..YOUR A GREAT PERSON
2006-10-17 22:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by lilmissthang025 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋