I have this friend that I met in college while we were both in a long term relationship, I am now single since I just broke with my BF since I wasn't happy with him. When we talked (we worked together) we were incredibly connected and I bet he also thought "If only I were single". I haven't seen him since I graduated and we never did go out since we were both committed, but we are still in touch. We are incredibly alike and compatible and I believe we've always had a thing for each other even though we haven't been able to be honest about it. The catch is he got engaged in May and the wedding will be next April, he's been with his girlfriend since high school but I can tell their relationship is not great and they're getting married just because. Now that I'm single I'd like to let him know my long term relationship is over and see if there is actually any future for us (without forcing it). What should I do and how should I tell him this?
Thanks, SS82
2006-10-17 12:27:38 · 9 answers · asked by strawberryshortcake82 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you can let him know you're single and casually mention that you'd love to see him again sometime. Unless he is an idiot, he will take the bait if he's interested.
However, I think if he's engaged, he is lost to you. If he is really marrying this girl "just because" that speaks a lot about his judgment. I would wonder why a college-educated guy in his twenties would marry unless they were really in love. Perhaps it is wishful thinking on your part? Good luck : )
2006-10-17 12:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the main obstacle I see right now is his impending wedding. This gives you a time limit.
Now you should keep in mind that the only positive thing that can happen if you do nothing or limited things is that he can always call off the engagement.
I would first casually bring it up. Say something like "oh remember that guy I was with, man we finally ended. I was ready for it...bla bla bla." This might trigger something in the guy
Next, if nothing appears to happen, be strait with him on topic 1-I don't think your gf is right for you. Ask him indirectly if he has any worries about the marriage. If he's not biting and you cannot fuel his annimosity, then tell him what you think.
If nothing is crashing this wedding, you have to throw all in and tell him about your feelings to him. This has the potential of ruining if not making the friendship awkward.
I hope this helps. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-10-17 19:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by b-rad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your friend openly and honestly. Don't beat around the bush. Let him know exactly how you feel about him. This will also give him a chance to air his true feelings about you. If you both feel the same way about each other then, it's best he realizes this before the wedding. If he still wants to marry his high school sweetheart, then leave it alone. But at least you'll know and not have to wonder if there's a chance for you two.
2006-10-17 21:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out for some coffee or lunch say just to catch up when you are there let him know how you feel on the matter express your feelings but don't drive him away if he decides to stick with his wife to be, be mature about it tell him you respect his decision and tell him you'd like to at least still be friends and keep in touch ask him to let you know how things go for him. Be sincere!
2006-10-17 19:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him "I would kick myself I didn't ask. I know you are engaged, but I've always felt ..."
You know the rest. He'll be flattered or he will re-think what he's about to do.
Either way it opens the door to the possibility of you two getting together. Or you can stand back and watch and kick yourself later.
2006-10-17 19:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello??? Is anyone home here??? You need to get out of this fantasy world you live in, sweetie! He is Engaged!! He is getting Married!!! He is not interested in you!!! You need to grow up and leave this guy alone!!! What right do you have to judge his relationship???? Butt Out and back off. It is sour grapes for you that he is with someone and you are not!!! You have a choice to either make a complete fool of yourself or, to move on in life.........up to you, sweetie!!!
2006-10-17 19:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him how you feel, the only thing he can tell you is no. At least you'll never spend anymore days wondering what if.
2006-10-17 19:31:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey you go aftter him and tell him you want him all is fair in love and war,and they are not married ! dont let this slip away he just might be the man of your dreams and you will never know lest you give it a try
GOOD LUCK
2006-10-17 19:34:34 · answer #8 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be a big girl and count your losses. His fiance' may be the best thing for him. Lick your wounds and move on!
2006-10-17 19:30:52 · answer #9 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋