How can I get my 20 month old son to stop doing unwanted behaviors(flicking lights, jump couch) over and over?

Question

My son does these things over and over. I feel so worn out at the end of the day from chasing him around the house saying no. Some things are ignorable like the light flicking...but the dangerous things are not and it is hard to get him to understand the danger in it. Jumping on the couch, running up and down the steps, umping on the dog, choking the cat, sitting on his baby brother, hitting, these are all no good either for him or someone else. Then there is the constant NO NO NO I get to everything I say. That is so hard for me too. I want to argue and say yea to all his nos sometimes....lol. I love him more than anything in the world. He is a gift and a miracle. He is loving and sweet...then there is the bad streak though. Thats what I need some help with. Thank you

Answer 1

LOL I laughed out loud when I read this. I am mother to your son's soulmate. My dauther is 23 mos and does many of the same things. Her baby brother is 7 mos.

We tried the time out thing. she thinks it's funny. she now will do something she knows that she isn't supposed to and then say "down" and put herself on timeout. She's clearly too young. We take things away! Her juicy cup is her LOVE. So I just threaten to take it away. But that's only if she's super bad. Usually I just need to take away her toy farm animals or her magnadoodle. I have also learned to ignore many of the things that won't hurt her or anyone else. That seems to work too.

She's just starting to settle down a bit...but the taking away of a favorite item really works for us. Mostly the threat works. I threaten 2x, then if she does it a 3rd time I tell her what she did wrong and take it away. She then starts to yell "ok ok" but then I just distract her with something else. Like counting her brother's toes, a video, or palying outside.

Remember that whatever method you choose, you need to be consistent and show him you mean business. It took a few days of me taking things away before she got it. Now the threat does the trick.

hang in there!

Answer 2

My son is around a month older than yours and also likes to climb anything accessible. We keep a play gym with ladder and slide inside the house, and that has helped a little by designating something that is okay to climb. I play with him on the gym a lot to encourage his use of it. Another thing that has helped is having different degrees of "no". When he is doing something dangerous like trying to climb up the front of his high chair, the "no" is much louder, angry sounding, and likely to come with physical reinforcement such as picking him up and putting him in a safe location. My son has also been known to put toys, sofa cushions, his chair, books, or anything else he can move so that he can use them as a step ladder. Leaving him alone for 2 minutes to empty the clothes dryer can require 5 minutes of making certain toys inaccessible. The whole thing certainly makes child proofing a lot more difficult. I think the best advice I could offer is keep a very close eye on him and hope he outgrows this quickly. I guess I'll see you when our boys compete against each other in a bouldering competition...

Answer 3

kids at that age are like puppies - you have to repeat yourself over and over and over till they get it. my son is exactly the same - jumps on the couch, bullies his older sister etc. but with perseverance he is starting to understand that certain behaviour will not be tolerated. the trick is to warn him once and the second time take action. i either put him in the corner or if he has hurt the pets or his sister i smack him back so he can feel that others also have feelings and can get hurt. things are better and it is at a point now where a simple look or tone of voice seems to put him in check. just hang in there. his ehaviour could also be from the fact that you have another baby in the house and he is simply acting up. if this is the case - make time to spend with him - one on one and explain to him that although there is a new baby he is still special and very loved. my daughter acted up when her brother was born and after spending more time with her, she now accepts that her brother is a part of the family and she is very protective of him. good luck and i am sure it will all come to a point......just hang in there

Answer 4

Sounds like your son is ready for time out, this is how it works:
Give him one warning if he does it again, stick him in the corner
for 5 minutes but at first you'll have to stand there to make sure
he stays and remind him that it's time out, when the 5 minutes
are up crouch down to get to his level and look in his eyes and
say "don't flick the lights anymore okay?!" and he'll say "okay"
and have him say he's sorry.
After about a couple days once you say "do you need time out?"
he'll stop, kids just hate it and once he gets used to it he'll know
what it is and when you send him he'll go right to the corner.
Worked for my two girls I learned this trick from a daycare provider.
Good Luck and be Patient....

Answer 5

Ignore naughty behavior at this age. Join in with some clapping and singing to counteract this behavior. Learn some Nursery ryhmes , so when he's jumping you can teach him numbers or tha alphbets. He is just trying to express an unmet need. Stop yelling and start praising him more. Light licking remove the bulbs. Send him to daycare.

Answer 6

Sounds like you need a backbone or some parenting classes. You are letting him have the run of the house, instead of you being the parent. You need to get some schedule built into your day, with consequences for his negative behaviours. You are giving him negative attention now, which he is eating up. You need to start giving him positive reinforcement. Time to read some parenting books, watch Supernanny, and you and your husband will be much happier overall.

Answer 7

My parents were heavy believers in Darwinism. They let me do the stuff untill I hurt myself. Then they would reply "Hurt didn't it? Bet you won't do it again, will you?!"

Of course with the siblings they explained that hitting hurt by smacking the top of my hand every time I did it.

Animals are people too. When they behaive like that just treat them like they were doing that to grandma, a good sound time out.

I recomend a 'naughty chair' they worked wonders for the kids I babysat. And they had ADD and were 13 years old.

Answer 8

ughh and he is not even two yet!! Patience patience patience keep telling him why he is not allowed to do something and remove him then when he does it again stick him in his room and tell him he is not allowed...on the couch...and really quick shut the door if he comes out immediately stick him back in and repeat words repeat if necessary Very quickly, like in the time it takes him to get to door open it up with big smiles and say now I know you can remember...to not jump on the couch it is dangerous.....then tell him you may jump on these pillows on the floor.... Repeat whole process for the next year LOL it does get better not a whole lot but better!

Answer 9

Sounds like he needs some discipline and security gates on the stairs.Though I do not like my daughter jumping off the couch, she hurt herself once (not badly) and hasn't done it since. Sometimes, kids have to learn - they learn best by doing at this young age - and if they never have an experience they don't learn.

Answer 10

Ignore bad behaviour, praise the good.
If he's getting lots of attention for doing what he shouldn't do, he'll keep on doing it.
But if he is colouring nicely (on paper- not on the walls) praise him and see his reaction. He'll want to do things that make mommy happy.

Or am I being naive in thinking this? My daughter is only 17 months old and I haven't got to that phase yet! :-)

Good luck though!