I need some opinions!!!?

Question

Ok, I just found out last week that I am 5 weeks pregnant. I am excited about it even though I'm not with the dad. I'm def. going to have the baby but the father does want one, he says he isnt ready for a baby and it wouldnt make him want to be with me, which isnt why I'm keeping it anyway. I know I can do this on my own, it wil be hard, I know but how do I tell him I'm keeping it? Also is it selfish of me?

Answer 1

YOU? Selfish for wanting to bring this child into the world and willing to raise it by YOURSELF? Huh. I think some of my fellow posters on here need to look a little deeper into their hearts and realize that they are being needlessly cruel with their words. ( Yeah, you know who you are!!)

I think you are being a wonderful mother. Many women would just say "Fine!" and get an abortion. I admire your courage. I do hope , however you are going to be strong and not allow him to have anything to do with the child ? I mean, this can go two ways. And I hope you are going to take him to court for child support. Well, it is either support/visitation or no support/no contact. That's your choice.

I wish we could talk, I would love to help you out with this. I know alot of the ins and outs of things that are available to people in your situation. If you contact me at my regular email ( in my profile page ) I'll try to give you all the help that I can; if its ok with you? I would like to help, even if it just turns out to be moral support. I'll give you more about me when you contact me, if you want to. But I am a married, 36 yr. old woman, artist and writer.

Answer 2

tell him you are keeping it and you don't want him. heck, throw in there that you are perfectly okay with him signing his rights and responsibilities away after the child is born. and it isn't selfish of you, if you KNOW that you can handle it. and i am not talking about financially. you may want to give your baby the shiniest and newest stuff, but your baby doesn't need it. i'm talking about being able to handle having to take care of the baby all the time. middle of the night feedings, colic, the first illness, you don't say your age, but you seem kinda young so you know that going out will have to be re-worked, right? you won't be able to drop everything and just go out, you know? there will be a babysitter and a diaper bag and feeling tired all the time. you may not even want to go out all that much. and you and your friends may not "connect" as much anymore. you'll get new friends, sure, but your old ones may be a little hard to keep in touch with. especially if they don't have kids of their own. it's not gonna be easy.
but remember, you don't have tokeep your baby to do what is best for it. you can have the baby and have it placed with a kind and loving family if you don't feel you can fully care for it properly. there's no shame in that. you can have an open or close adoption, open meaning you know the people and may even have a real prescence in your child's life. closed meaning you hand the baby over and walk away. you do have options.

Answer 3

hi, Congratulations for your baby, and also for the decision of keeping the baby even though you are not with the father. I think you should tell him you are expecting a baby and that he is the father, because he has the right, and later when the baby is born, she/he will have the right to know her/his father. of course, if you have a good relationship with this man, I think, there might not be any trouble.you should tell him you are keeping the baby, because ou decided so, and if he wants to help you, good, but if he doesn't, well, work hard an rise your child on your own. if I were you, I would tell him. I repeat, he has the right to know. also he should help you with the things that baby will need. good luck!!!! and congratulations again...

Answer 4

Wow, that's a big responsibility and you're going into this with your eyes wide open. If you know you are going to raise the baby on your own, it's not really up to the father anyway. You need to find out if there are public services that can help you out - food stamps, WIC, etc. Those places will help you to pay for what you need. It's not selfish of you, it's your body and you have the choice.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Congratulations!! I'm a big believer that a baby no matter what the
circumstances are is a blessing from God, a gift like no other.
Just tell him that you're having the baby and you want him to be a
part of his life and it has nothing to do with you two, be honest, no
it's not being selfish at all it's actually the complete opposite.
If he doesn't want to be around, you can do it on your own, no one
can care for your baby the way you, the mother, can.

Answer 6

Congrats on your new blessing, as far as the "father" you can tell him that you are keeping your baby by quite frankly saying I am keeping MY baby, it is not selfish of you at all and you should not feel this way, i just hope that he does not feel compelled to threaten you about your decision or expect to pop in and out of the baby's life after you did all the hard work b/c that is common nowadays
you said it yourself that you can do it, and that is the only person that you have to tell that 2 (yourself) It will be hard but life is hard in general

Answer 7

It is not selfish at all! You even said your not with the dad and you are planning on doing this on your own anyways. I think you should just tell him and let him know he doesn't have to be involved. If anyone is being selfish it is him, he did help make the baby :) Congrats by the way!

Answer 8

Just tell him straight up: That you are going to have the baby, that you are perfectly aware that it doesn't mean he'll be with you, that you didn't want that anyway, and that he is the father, and will have to be responsible whether he likes it or not.

It will be hard, but it is not selfish at all. The selfish thing here would be to have an abortion.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Answer 9

CONGRATS! don't beat around the bush. just come out and tell him. if your ex doesn't want to be apart of this then that's his bad. he doesn't know what he will be missing out on. what do you mean by being selfish? selfish that you want to keep the baby? absolutely NOT. it is your right to keep the baby no matter what he or anyone else may want. this is your baby and no one can take that away unless you let them.

i don't know you but i know that you can do this on your own if you have to. just don't ever doubt yourself or your abilities. if you start doubting yourself then you might start to feel helpless. if you need help don't be afraid to ask family and friends and if they won't help then there are probably support programs in the community.

contact your local health department. most likely they will be able to give some advice.

don't ever forget that you can go to God with any problem. that is what He wants us to do. if you didn't pray or talk to God before, there is no better time than now to start. You will be in my prayers.

Answer 10

First of all, it is not really fair for everyone to use the "It's your body" defense. I understand that this is true, but it is also HIS child, as well as yours'. You need to understand that you must be understanding and knowledgable of his feelings. If you feel that you can raise this child alone, and I am sure you can, then please stop worrying and be happy that your life is about to be expanded and blessed by a beautiful child!

If the father chooses to be part of your child's life, then you will need to set ground rules, discuss parenting styles, decide on names, schools, disciplinary tactics, and so many other things, big ones and little, such as ear piercings, use of pacifiers, etc. If he chooses not to be part of the child's life, try to develop a support system for yourself and your baby, made up of close friends, family members, and other nearby parents. Make sure you have someone to spell you, in other words, give you a break when you're going nuts!

Good luck with your beautiful bambina!