My sitter found my son,10, watching porn on tv How to talk without outing him and shift to positive sex talk?

Question

I'm not angry. How do I approach this with my 5th grader without him feeling outed and getting defensive?
I want to convey: I don't want him to hide, or lie (he said it was ok), and to know porn is not real -- I want to transition to having open sex dialogue

Answer 1

Well first of all I think you're a great mother for not freaking out!
Just be honest find some time alone with him and tell him what
those strange feelings he's having are, he's only in 5th grade but
if he's already exploring that subject may as well be open and
explain all about the birds and the bees and where babies come
from.
You might also want to think of parental controls on your t.v?

Answer 2

2

Answer 3

Honestly I've never had this problem, I've been married 3 months and my husband and I are intimate at least once every second night, be it intercourse or other things ;) I think it's important when you start marriage to let your partner know what you expect from that area. However we do have two nights a week that, no matter what, we have sex. And you know, even when neither of us really want it at first we ALWAYS get into it. We also keep it mixed up, have sex in different rooms or different ways. Oh and don't worry about the porn thing for now. It's porn. Unless the girls panties are hanging at the end of your bed when you get home, it's nothing. So let him know what you want from your sex life together, because this is for life and he should know what you expect. Keep a day or two a week that you have sex or do something intimate no matter what And keep it fun :) And if all that fails start playing with yourself in bed together and if that doesn't get him to turn over, honestly, presume he's a porn loving looser and leave.

Answer 4

First off, get digital cable and put a child lock on all R and NC-17 rated shows. At 10, your son should NOT be watching those kinds of shows.

Second, it is your JOB as a parent to talk to him about sex. If he is watching porn, then he has questions. It's better that he learn what he can from you then from others. If you don't know what to say, go to Planned Parenthood and they will provide you with pamphlets so that you can have an open and honest discussion. Let him know up front that you will answer whatever questions he has, no matter how off beat they may seem. Be honest if you don't know the answer, but tell him that you will find out and let him know.

I know some will not agree with what I'm saying. Talking about sex doesn't NOT lead to kids HAVING sex. I know when my son is old enough, I will teach him whatever I know. I'd rather he learn from me and his dad then from his peers who might give him faulty info.

Be strong. You can do this and your son will be grateful that you are understanding and willing to answer his questions. No one ever said that being a parent was easy.... :)

Answer 5

Porn, to a 10 year old, can be exciting to view because the whole concept of sex and the nude opposite sex is new. Good for you for not getting angry with your son.
Get him a book that is geared to young teenagers about sex and puberty. Make sure it has detailed pictures to satisfy his curiosity.

As for the "sex talk," explain the chapter about puberty in boys to him. Tell him that what he's feeling is perfectly normal and not to be ashamed. Ask him what he already knows.. clarify.. Offer to answer questions in the future but don't bug him about it or make him feel awkward.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing. Good luck.

Answer 6

NetDog Porn Filter: http://www.netdogsoft.com

Answer 7

Well, he is getting to the age to where he can understand right/wrong real/fake. Just come out and tell him that you DO NOT want to catch him watching porn ever again. Then tell him that they are just actors and that is not how relationships work. If you catch him again GROUND HIM, but explain to him again that those are not how real relationships work. If he watches porn later in his life (past 18) then so be it, but if you scare the
s$%^ out of him to the point where he dosen't want to watch it ever again, then no harm done there either. I was in this same situation way back when (I was the kid), and I turned out just fine even though my mom scared the living s$%# out of me.

Answer 8

how did he get access to porn on TV?i live in Scotland and we have to pay a cable company for this sort of thing.good on you for not being angry at him probably just curiosity i remember being young and wondering what people actually did under the covers!!my boy younger than youres asks things now and again and ive always been honest with him and he goes away quite happy.(probably to tell all his mates)

Answer 9

be honest about the way these women are dipicted in these movies, and how totally unreal they are. We have found that books are a great starting point for these conversations. go to the library or barns & noble. They are very helpful.
U may want to consider parental locks on those channels?

Answer 10

Umm, I think you are being too lenient here. First of all it is your duty as a parent to block off channels like that. Does he have a TV in his room? He shouldn't. There are far too many violent and sexual shows that he should not be watching. I would tell him that you are disappointed that he was watching something that he knows is wrong. I would also let him know that pornography degrades women and that is very wrong. You are his parent, not his friend. Act like it.