She has two childeren, 8 and 5 and they are old enough to know I'm not thier dad. I've never done it before so how do I make them comfortable with me?
2006-10-17 12:04:01 · 11 answers · asked by Too Cool For Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just be yourself. kids are smarter than you think..they can usually see through you. Just be kind to them. Listen to all of their ridiculous stories, help them dress their Barbie Dolls...laugh and play with them. Most of all include them. It will take a little time for them to completely accept you, but they will. Good luck ( and thank you from all of the other women out there that are single with children...do not fear us)
2006-10-17 12:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by shasta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be their friend, be interested in their interests, be fun, do fun things. I don't know how long you have been in this relationship, but I would suggest not showing physical affection in front of the kids until they are comfortable with you and show that they do like you in order to make the adjustment from Dad to the new guy hanging around. It is also less confusing for the children if the relationship doesn't become permanent and another man is introduced at a later point.
2006-10-17 19:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date the mother for a while . Then if things are going ok start bye taking the kids places like the beach, zoo etc. You all have to spend some time together but don't push you self on them. I went thru this before I found my husband of 29 yrs. They will start inviting you to ball games etc. Then over more often. Don't be available all the time, . Some times things don't work out for the mother and you and it is the kids that get hurt. I dated there step father for over a year before I knew he was the right one for me and the kids.. There father was deceased , so I was also dating others. I wish you all luck . Pem
2006-10-17 19:27:42 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard place to be. The best thing you can do is show them that you accept them just as much as you accept their mother. Buy the kids some baseball gloves and some balls and throw with them in the back yard. Take all three of them to a family movie. Help them with a bit of homework. Cook a fun dinner with them...like hotdogs or something.
Just make sure they understand you are not there to take their mom away (so to speak), but rather the four of you being together as a group.
2006-10-17 19:09:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get involved in the things they like to do, be a friend, but don't let them step all over you. Show them you are a good guy, but you need to be strict when necessary. Believe it or not, kids like that. If you have rules and are strict at times and show them dicipline, they feel you care about them.
2006-10-17 19:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by Billys girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A) don't try to be a dad try being a friend. B) gain their trust by being straight with any answer you give them and C) make it clear you like their mom but don't grope her in front of the kids
2006-10-17 19:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by Beeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take them out and have fun with them. amusement parks, toy shops, whatever. (make sure the girl is there in case you need help, kids are a big responsibility, just don't kiss her or talk sweetly to her until they are comfortable with you. act like you are a friend that just is wanting a good time. then, later, they'll know you, and it will be better.)
2006-10-17 19:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by aerie anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be nice to their mom. Let her decide how much she wants the kids around you, and move at her (and their) pace. Kids are much more comfortable making friends with your at their speed, so just be open to that.
2006-10-17 19:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by sjbluebelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to get close to them and try to be pat ion and don't ever talk bad about here dad and give them what you think they deserve and if there mean to you you be nice because liking the mom you have to like the kids well best of luck to you and your new family!
2006-10-17 19:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to come on too strong, and don't take it personally if they are a bit hideous at first. You're entering their territory...be patient and just be nice to their mother and them...
2006-10-17 19:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋