I'm 18 and i have never being in a serious relationship. Girls do say i'm good looking. But the problem is that i am an introvert which makes me quite oblivious. And i also have a self esteem problem. I need your suggestions. How can i come over my shyness and approach a girl i desire? Pls! i'm really dying of loneliness and curiousity.
2006-10-17 11:53:05 · 27 answers · asked by Tim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Awe honey, no reason to be lonely! You have the upper hand as there are more gals than guys and therefore all you have to do is smile at the pretty girls you like and that's all it's going to take. Haven't you heard, a smile opens many doors. It always worked for me, and I never had to say a word. Just be cool, loosen up and smile a little. Many of us were shy and introverted but we learned to get past that and when you start drawing their attention you begin to lose all your inhibitions. Just relax and stop being lonely.
2006-10-17 12:01:04 · answer #1 · answered by liberalthinktank 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't think your the only person that goes through this. There are tons of shy people out there. And it's not a disease or something that you should be ashamed of. Yes it can be a serious obstacle and most people don't totally overcome shyness. However if you try hard you can definitely work your way around it and deal with it for the most part.
Also, trust me not every chick likes the loud flashy guys. A lot of girls are into the quiet mysterious types. You can definitely work it into your favor in certain situations.
I'm shy so I know. But I've managed to overcome most of the problems I've had in the past with shyness. I'm mostly shy around people I don't know. I've noticed that I have a much easier time with this when I'm with people I know. So I try to stay active and go out with friends that are single. I find that I have a much easier time approaching girls or talking to them when I'm with a group of friends. For some reason I just feel a little more comfortable. Also I hate to say this but drinking does help as long as you don't overdo it. It definitely helps you loosen up a bit. The main thing is to try to feel comfortable. Also like I said don't be ashamed of it. Alot of people have parents or family members who make them feel ashamed of themselves because they are shy. This ends up not helping as the person becomes less confident and shyer.
2006-10-17 12:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by acvader 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, listen,
You're only 18 years young. I know that this seems a long time to you, but in the scheme of things, you are still very young. I know how it feels to be dying of loneliness, as I am also an introvert. But don't be so hard on yourself. There are some women who see shyness as a very attractive thing in a man. Besides that, as you grow in years and experience, you won't be so introverted. Trust be, I've been there.
2006-10-17 11:56:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are young man dont trip off of women right now they will come trust me and also you have to strike out before you can become a major leagure I mean is it takes time and practice talking to women and getting them into your bed. Worry about your life first and talk to women as you go. get use to taking to them first then start moving forward little by little. Soon you will find out what women want and you will be able to get them. Think about it like this us now has over 300,000,000 people in it. Lets say in order for you be good at women you need to get rejected at least 900 times wow 900 is not even a percent of the population of the US and this is just the US. You are not along man there lots of people out there with the same or worse problem just sit back relaxe and enjoy the ride
2006-10-17 12:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The cure for loneliness is to find things to do for other people. In finding things to do for other people you are both getting to know other people and also becoming more extroverted. Do you have older and younger people in your family you could spend time with. Do your parents need some things done around the house? Your self-esteem will be built up after you see yourself do things well for a while.
2006-10-17 11:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by Onjel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you go getting into any sort of a relationship, you need to work on you and why your intoverted. Get a referal to a good therapist and let them help you come out of your shell. Failing this, how comfortable are you in joining community groups (chess, basketball, bowling, majong, book clubs) you might be fine just joining some local group and may not need a therapist. It's your social skills and social interaction skills that are lacking, we all have them but they reain dormant in some people. Your fine, normal and no need to panic or get worried, just try mixing with groups and if that needs more help, get the therapist to help you.
2006-10-17 12:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hell that makes two of us. i'm also 18 but not quite that shy or low on self- esteem; i've also never really had a serious relationship. the only way to overcome your shyness in talking to a girl you like is to JUST DO IT! you have to ignore your shyness, low self-esteem, etc and do it! you may think you will competely mess it up, but trust me, it wont be nearly as bad or as awkward as you think it will!
2006-10-17 12:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Desperate for advice? I'll help!!!
Your lonley and your shy...many people across the world are just like you.
You need to stop being shy, to begin with.
Hang with friends more and don't worry!
Loosen up a little, and have fun!
Call friends on the phone and talk.
Hang at the movies or the all with some girls.
After your shyness has overcome (takes years), you shouldn't be lonley becuase if your not shy, you hang with people and that will stop making you lonley.
Get a pet at your house when your alone. It'll keep you company...it sure helped me!
2006-10-17 11:56:33 · answer #8 · answered by shewolf2899 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
first nice to meet you - and yes that is a very good question,
I believe the first thing you need to do is to take care of that self esteem image you have - basically you have to stop playing scenarios in you head - i will say this to her and she say this to me and they will all laugh - 99.9% of what we think will happen will never happen. then take all your good points and yes you do have them, like your sport or music or art or poetry and see what you have in common with this girl does she like things u like, find one and that your opening for a conversation,
For example i hear your into Art - so am I fancy doing some together.
PS have faith in the universe life will be just fine
and remenber people who try somtimes fail but people who dont try have failed already
wish you the best of luck
Seanie
2006-10-17 12:03:00 · answer #9 · answered by sean h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't just go after the hotties, try to date real girls. There are plenty of them dying of loneliness too. Plus, you don't have to tell a girl you want to date her right away. Just talk to her like you would anyone else.
2006-10-17 12:01:04 · answer #10 · answered by DJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋