How do I tell my sons how important grades are?

Question

I am a very laid back mom who hates putting pressure on her kids. I hated my parents for it while I was growing up. I do everything I can to make them happy (within reason). My question is how do I drive the importance of good grades into my two teenaged sons head without them hearing blah, blah, blah? I think that it is important now days more than ever for them to succeed. Do you have any sugestions of what I could tell them. If you have good thoughts, I will let them read them for themselves. I love them so much and know that they have a tough road ahead. What they do now, paves the road for their future.

Answer 1

I'm a Dad with 3 sons, 23, 21,& 20. The key to getting good grades is to be interested in what is being taught. Your opener doesn't tell us that they are getting bad grades, just that you want to instill them with the certain knowledge that choices made at this level will have lasting consequences.

PREACHY part: It is Not the Teacher's job to Give your son's an education! It Is your Sons' job to Get an education. A teacher must create an environment where learning can take place and try to instill an interest in the subject in the mind's of the students.

REALITY part:
a. Many of today's students are in class with other students who may be disruptive and seeking attention or status. This activity tends to make learning difficult.
b. Too many of today's classes are taught "down" to the slowest paced learner in the room. Because teachers are "graded" on how many of their students progress, they have to. That leaves a lot of other students sitting there bored at the pace, and a bored student is just one step away from a disruptive student.

Today's student must be a self-starter, self disciplined, and self directed. They will learn what interests them at their own pace. Ever notice how fast they learn the moves in a new video game? Or how quickly they learn to drive well enough to give you confidence when they ask to borrow the car?

OPINION part: Your job as Mom is to get them access to the resources they need to do this, then encourage and MONITOR their progress. There are online resources that will relate school work to particular type employments. When they decide what they want to be when they grow up, they can follow that educational path.

POST EDUCATION part: There is NO DELETE KEY in CyberSpace. Anything they have ever posted to a Myspace page or LiveJournal page or personal profile page is fair game for any employer to view as part of a job interview and IT IS Being done.
Any blog they write and many email they've sent are stored in servers around the country. Be cautious and realistically skeptical of much of what you take from the internet. Verify from multiple sources.

They're probably good guys, just testing their limits. That's what all young men do while they still believe they are invincible. Ask questions about friends, where, what, who, call to verify answers on a widely spaced unannounced random basis. Never ask "Why?", even they don't know, yet. Show them where the limits are and stick to it. If you define a limit and don't enforce it, you've forfeited the game. And show them love!

Peace

Answer 2

In school I got good grades partly because I didn't really have to work, but also because my father made it clear that he would be disapointed in me if I didn't go to college, and that the only way I could afford to get there is if I got a scholarship.

When I was younger, my grandmother also gave me $1 for every A. I didn't get money for any other grades, just A's, so it made me want to go the extra mile to get an A rather than settle for a B.

Something that worked for my friends, thier parents promised them something *great if they graduated with a certain gpa or above. One of them got a car (used, but she hadn't had one before.) One got an mp3 player put in her car, and one girl I went to school with got the nose job she wanted. The point is, if you can think of something that your boys really want, bribing them sometimes works out doubly well.

Answer 3

Lay it out straight to them. Why beat around the bush about it?
I love to use this one on the kids I work with--they are always going on and on about the nice car, house, stuff they want when they get older. I always just chuckle and say better stay in school and get a good job!! Want all that stuff? Then you better get a good job to pay for it all!!!!

Answer 4

show htem examples of what happens when you care and when you dont.
but honestly, if there teenagers do this:
say"well, from now on, when you go to the mall,movies,etc., im going to give you the money to spend based on which you would have to spend with the job that you'd get with the grades you have now."
if they dont have enough money to do what they want, they'll get their grades up.

Answer 5

take them for a drive in to your local ghetto and no i dont mean the area with run down housing i mean the actual ghetto with prostitutes and gangs and bums on every street cornor and point them out ask if thats what they want to be for the rest of their lives cuz they aint gonna stay in your basement when theyre 35... :)

Answer 6

don't use george bush as example.
show them some bad jobs or the dirty jobs channel and comapre with cool and educated like fighter pilot or whatever is cool for thier age group... csi agent...

Discovery Channel :: Dirty Jobs :: Fan Site
Welcome to Dirty Jobs, the Discovery Channel series that profiles the unsung American laborers who make their living in the most unthinkable-- yet ...
dsc.discovery.com/fansites/dirtyjobs/splash.html

Answer 7

Bribery and Punishment. Most people don't believe in punishment anymore but a good belt every now and then will set things straight.

Answer 8

My suggestion is to talk to their teachers and see what kind of advice that they have for you.
Teachers can have positive and creative ideas to teach this important lesson to your kids.

Answer 9

Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.......

Answer 10

Tell them what happens to people who have really bad grades.