At what point can you gather the strength to kick out a beloved child who is a heroin addict but refuses to get help. She is no where near bottom yet but she is having a bad effect on her younger sisters who look up to her. Is it possible to have her in the home and lay down your rules and expect her to obey them? Any suggestions please.
2006-10-17 11:38:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to remove her from the home as soon as possible. Its her life and if she wants to die doing something stupid then she can do it somewhere else she needs to go to a place that can help her before its to late. And also her little sisters dont need to witness this because they to can easily get addicted. Layind down rules wont stop an addict you must seek professional help and remove her from your home. Its called tough love and when she gets help and lives to see her next birthday and gets to have a normal life then you know that what you did was for the best she may be angry at you but will respect you and love you for helping her. If you dont have the money to help her there are places that will. Good luck I hoped I helped I am a mother also.
2006-10-17 11:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do your part. If you don't no love will help her. That means that if you set some rules you have to make sure they're followed and that a price is paid for not following them. For example, if you say she has to be home by 9 pm, and she's not then don't leave her in for 2 or 3 hrs. Let her know if she ever comes home even a minute after 12am she may as well stay where ever she was because you won't let her in until the morning. It's not exactly kicking her out yet, but giving her a tast of it. This also means you have to chase her down and pester her where ever she's at. Make it a problem for her.
It's time for tough love or just accept it. Kicking her out may save her life. Letting her stay is hard to deal with and worse to watch her drop.
Also seek help every where you can; even with the cops. Speak with everyone you can about it. That's part of doing your part.
Good luck.
2006-10-17 11:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by kasar777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear concerned Parent,
It isn't not loving you child if you discipline them. It won't help you daughter if you continue allowing her to get away with it. Obviously she doesn't think something is wrong, and if you continue letting her live with you it is sending the message that she isn't doing anything "all that bad" I'm not saying through her on her butt and never speak to her again but making her make the choice it's either live here and get help or you need to leave if you can't live under my rules. There is a great example a rich man had two sons one was very obiedient and the other was distructive and never listened. One day the disobedient boy went to his father and demanded that he give him his inheritence right at that moment. So the loving father gave it to him and the evil son left the house while the obedient child stayed home and helped his father run the business. The disobedient child went off into the city and bought prostitues and gamble and did everything else a wild child would do with lots of money. He spent all of the money and when he had sold the last shoe off his feet he hid in an alley dirty and alone with nothing. He had no where to go but home. As he was walking up the street to his house the father saw him miles in the distance and got up and ran to him! When the father had gotten to him he embraced him with a huge hug and cried because he was so happy that his son had returned, but the son knelt down and said I do not deserve to be your son I've come to ask to be your servant without pay becuase I don't deserve anything, but the father took him in his arms and said "My son has returned to me" So the Father told everyone to get all the best food and best wine to celebrate his sons return. Now the obedient brother saw all this and was jealous and went to the father complaining "I have always done what you've asked father but now you celebrate this awful childs return?" and the Father replied "My son was lost and dead now he is found and alive because of this we celebrate!" This story is a perable Jesus had taught in the Bible. And most of all your daughter is lost but not directly from you but she is lost and apart from her true creator so therefore she doesn't see that what she is doing is wrong because she's comfortable and there seems to not be any consiquences, but there will be and all we can do as parents is pray for her and be examples so before you try to "help" her maybe the only way to help he is by seeing where you are with God and if you need to surrender to Him who created you. God loves both you and your family He loves you so much that He sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for you, even while we are sinners and don't deserve it! Well I'll be praying for both you and your daughter and your other daughters!
2006-10-17 12:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by NathanGlenn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it must be hard to hear {or read as the case may be} but you need to get her out of the house. You don't say how old she is. If she is older than 18 then you really don't have any legal rights here. She's considered an adult and you can't force her into re-hab unless you prove that she's a threat to her or someone else. You'd have to go to court for that. Are you ready for that?
If she is under 18 you are still in charge. You can get her into rehab. You say she's not at her lowest yet, but the lowest may end up being death. She needs help and she won't get it at home.
Also, she is putting the other children in the house at risk. If the state found drugs in the house they could take all the kids out. You have to be very careful here. This is not a pretty place to be. My son was there for a while but not with herion.
2006-10-17 12:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a heroin addict but I lived with my mother and she kicked me out because I did what I wanted to. Dont ask about putting your foot down try it! If your kids look up to their sister and she is not the best example think about the possible outcome you have one addict in the family now and it could lead to more if you dont stop this. It's called tough love and it works. It's YOUR HOME and if she cant follow your rules what other choice do you have? Good Luck!
2006-10-17 11:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by sxybggr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I had/nevertheless have/ a faith in human beings, and that i felt/nevertheless experience/ that unconditional love you're speaking approximately, once you do no longer ask or choose something in return- it is observed as close friendship, yet in my case- that emotions are constantly spoiled because of the fact the different social gathering ultimately ends it up sopping wet in jealousy and infatuation. the only unconditional love which i replaced into waiting to make certain and to coach to be a similar in the the two path , is the single i think in direction of my newborn. each little thing else is organic "poetry", in case you get me.
2016-10-19 21:49:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unconditional love does not mean tolerating that kind of thing. There is such thing as tough love, meaning you are actually doing her a favor by putting her out. Right now, you are enabling her, and she wont get any better if you keep helping her out of her problems.
You have younger ones to consider as well, and she is not the best influence. She needs to leave.
Good luck.
2006-10-17 11:42:27 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who knows.You have two choices.You either get her into a methadone program or you kick her out...Rules will not work when she is hurting and sick from not having her fix.You can have a good child but it does not matter when they are sick from not having their drugs. They can't help it.Get her help before it is to late.If she is not ready to except the help then kick her out before she has an affect on your younger child.I wish u all the luck.If you would ever like to talk then email me.Good luck
2006-10-17 12:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we have to learn how to show our children "tuff Love" By this I mean kick her out, if she's not willing to follow your rules she needs to go. Unconditional love is not about putting up with anything and accepting it. It is about being there to rebuff and correct yet still love no matter what.
2006-10-17 12:02:43 · answer #9 · answered by jaeon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply and yet so hard to do - unconditional love means loving someone, loving what they do and understanding they have a right to chose that way - you daughter came into this world on her own she will leave on her own and there is noting you can do,
Like your daughter you came here on your own and you will leave on your own - so you are responsible for your life and your daughter is responsible for hers
Know that she might make it through this lesson and she might not - but that chose and what ever you do will not make a difference - take care of yourself and build your strength go to an NA -anon meeting
Love her she is your daughter that means letting her make her own choices and living with them good or bad, be the shoulder to cry on and the voice of wisdom but to do this you need strength
All my love to all of your family - gods speed to you
Seanie
2006-10-17 12:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by sean h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋