Every day, my neighbor magically finds an errand to run it seems. She has 4 elementary kids who get off the bus with my son, and once they discover their mom is not home, and the door is locked, they come to my house. Sometimes (like today) she asks if they can come over for a *little* while after school so she can do A, B or C. At first, this was cool. Well, that was 2 months ago, and this rundown has been a virtual everyday occurence. I am getting fed up, but I try hard to help people out best I can. They are generally ill mannered until I have to correct them, and we have spoken about this, and to a degree it has helped, except with her youngest (5 yrs.)...
Anyways, I don't think it's fair that someone with this many kids is expecting someone to do a favor like this constantly. Of course, that means I have to feed them, give them drinks, and I personally only have 2 kids and I don't stock enough food to feed a platoon every week. Why do people do this?
2006-10-17 10:41:14 · 19 answers · asked by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I had a neighbor like that once. She was bad about leaving saying that she would be back shortly. I got tired of it because they were very hard headed. One day she caught me in a bad mood and I just told her that I didn't think that it was okay for her to be leaving her kids on me. It worked for about 2 weeks. Then she came over and said can you watch them for 30 minutes. I said no I'm sorry I will be leaving when they get off the bus. She said well what am I suppose to do. I said take them with you are better yet keep your legs closed and don't have any more kids. People these days want you to raise your kids and theirs.
2006-10-17 12:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by mocha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are standing there when the kid is handing out the candy, right? If so, I would simply say "no thank you," and not let your kid have it. Kids need to learn that different parents have different rules. I was at a birthday party yesterday where the moms were opening up soda cans left and right and handing them out to preschoolers. I told my daughter "We don't drink soda," and that was the end of it. Explain to your child that too much candy will make his teeth rot and you will happily fix him a snack at home. So what if they throw a fit. Imagine the fit they'll throw when it's time to fill a cavity. I totally agree that this mom shouldn't let her kid hand out candy.. Sounds like she's going to do it no matter what. Surprisingly, there may be some parents who think it's a nice gesture. So, the only thing you can really control is what goes into your kid's mouth. Forget about contacting teachers and principals...they have bigger fish to fry. I'm with you on this one, but I would just say no to my own kid and let that be the end of it.
2016-05-21 21:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time she actually gets around to asking, let her know you are busy. If the kids show up unannounced, ask them where mom is. If she is gone, call her or her husband and let them know you have an appointment and you are leaving in 15 minutes. Then go play or go shop. You will only have to do it a couple of times if she is especially dense.
I have one neighbor who will go in my house if I am not home to get something for dinner out of my cupboards. The other neighbor would send her son over to play when I was making dinner so I would feed him. I knew it was on purpose when he said his mom told him he could eat dinner with us as soon as he got there. I also knew that they would not get around to feeding him until 10 or so and most of the time it would be cereal or top ramen. When they would order pizza and my daughter was over, they would tell her when the pizza came she would have to go home. They never once asked her to stay. Even if it wasn't pizza.
When my budget started getting too tight, I would give him a snack but send him home when it was dinner time. I felt bad but they had twice the income I did and he was their child.
I even went over and told them he was hungry a few times.
2006-10-17 11:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might be the best thing in their day, but that doesn't negate feeling taken advantage of and a little crabby about it. Let mom know that she will need to bring snacks -- for all of the kids! -- over a couple of times, and an activity, again, for all of the kids, to enjoy. A movie, some play-dough, crayons, books, something that if it gets left at your house you can toss it would be fine.
You could also give her the name of a babysitter, maybe a high schooler who wouldn't mind coming after school for a couple of hours to watch them. (You could ask your local high school if there's a "job board" for people to post notices on.) Amazing how quickly people find out their "errands" aren't all that important when they have to pay for the privilege!
2006-10-17 10:48:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should call the parent up and say that you are sorry but you have errands to run and a few family functions to do after their children get off school; therefore, not able to watch her children for her for awhile.
If children come over, polietly excuse them to their own home saying it is your family time at the moment.
If their door is locked and no one home, for safety reasons, keep the children until their mother arrives home. Then walk the children over to their home and then let her know you are not able to do so with a pleasent smile and say bye to the kids as you are walking to your own home.
Also best to cautiously advise your son to let them know they can't come over. If your son says "I dunno" or the true meaning, the kids can tell the neighbor and the neighbor might rebel against it. Never know about neighbors. If she is unfair about leaving her kids with you constantly. Then I would also judge her sense of character as a neighbor even more in depth.
It seems she has kids and now realizing what 4 kids are like. Now kind of taking advantage at someone who graciously did a favor.
If she asks, you are NOT obligated to say "yes". If you say no, no means no. You are not her built in babysitter. Like every parent on yahoo, has taken their kids on errands. Like every parent on here, would of done their errands prior to their children getting out of school. Not notifying the children that she will not be home is not a good thing.
What about if you were not home one day (as you picked your child up from school) or decided you wanted to go somewhere?
If she needs someone to watch her kids one day out of the week, I wouldn't see a problem with it if asked, not assumed.
Request that she has snacks provided while they are at your house. Therefore, either the kids take their snack (and hope they won't eat it through out the day) to school in the morning to come over, or she pay (or drop off) the snacks to you.
If she has a "hard" time with how you feel about the situation, request them to be put in after school daycare, that they will provide the snacks, activities for a low monthly fee. I am currently a subsitute daycare teacher at 16 local elementry schools. Parents do it all the time. I don't see a reason for her not to since pretty much you are her after school "daycare" as it is.
2006-10-17 15:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so nice. Muster up some anger. These kids are not your responsibility so don't feel guilty. She has found a free babysitter and is saving money(food) at the same time. That's probably the money that makes her feel OK about going out and spending some money on herself.
Take care of yourself and your own kids.
If it is easier just make up something every day just like she does to you (knowing that should make it easier).
I'm really tired, sorry.
We are about to have dinner, sorry. If she persists - and she would. I didn't make enough, sorry.
We are about to go out, sorry.
It'll tickle you after a while and it will build your confidence.
DON'T FEEL GUILTY
Hey maybe it will encourage her to spend time with her kids.
2006-10-17 16:46:58 · answer #6 · answered by Mia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try to tell her in a polite way that you cannot watch them everyday as you have errands and other things to do around the house that need your full attention and you aren't able to keep an eye on her kids. Let her know that you are willing to watch them like once a week(twice, if you feel like it).
2006-10-17 10:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start telling her that you have to run your own errands after school. Or ask her for money when she wants you to sit her kids. They are eating your food and that is not fair. Start asking her for favors and see what happens. If she refuses ('I have enough kids of my own') remind her of the past two months. Does she work? Is it impossible to do these errands while the kids are at school?
2006-10-18 00:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh! Your just going to have to tell this lady that you also have things to do and her leaving her kids in your care is making it hard for you to run your own life. People like that are so annoying! She probably does not care if it bothers your or not. If you don't say something your going to go nuts and then end up saying something you may not want to. Not to mention you'll go poor tryin to feed her kids and yours all the time, its not your responsiblity to take care of them, if it does not bother you that they come over once in awhile then tell her that, but having them everyday with no pay is just not going to fly.
2006-10-17 10:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the kids they can't come inside today, because you have to clean, and then they will be on the street, so you can call the police, no child under 12 can be left home alone. it's the right thing to do.
2006-10-17 10:52:14 · answer #10 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋