I'm in love with my best friend. He's in love with a girl who's in a long term relationship. She doesn't requite his love for her and he would never make a move because he respects the fact that she'd in a relationship. This doesn't stop her taking advantage of my best friend's affections and treating him terribly. He's desperately unhappy and confides in me. He's recently become wise to this and has told me he is trying to get over her. He knows I'm in love with him. I told him three months ago. He doesn't return my feeling but he wants to remain best friends with me and we continue to spend loads of time together- going to the theatre, to the park, to museums... I dote on him. So what I want to know is; should I wait for him? Is it worth it? Do people change their feelings? Do you think he'll ever notice me? We're so similar. We're both in love for the first time.(We're neither of us teenagers btw, far from it.) I love him and would do anything for him. I'd wait years if I had to
2006-10-17 10:37:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is deeply in love for this other girls, it seems, and it may take some time for him to accept the fact that she is already taken. He is immature and going of feelings of infatuation. The girl he likes knows this, but she either likes the attention of men since she probably comes from a broken home and did not have a steady relationship with her father, or she is simply a user.
He also has problems with self esteem since no self-loving guy would allow that nonsense. This is a result of his now having a healthy relationship with his own father. A close male friend may aid you in setting him straight. Try it. You may be glad they spoke. As for you, I pray that you open your eyes and talk to him once more. Tell him that you won't wait forever and that needs to get with the program or he will lose you.
Be understanding, but firm. Don't be in a hurry to find anyone else for yourself just yet since, chances are, he will wake up soon and will want you desperately.
Mr. M on "should I wait."
2006-10-17 10:46:42 · answer #1 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be setting yourself up for a fall, and a hard one at that. If your love for him is that strong then by all means wait a little and see if it changes. But you need to stop doting on him and allow him to see you without your buying yourself into his life that way. He needs to see past what you can do for him and see what you mean to him when you arent there.
Perhaps take some time off from being with him constantly and see someone else and let him think about it to see if he does have feelings for you.
Have you heard the saying, if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be, if they dont, then move onto brighter pastures?
You have to set this man free if he is to get over this other girl and then to see you for the woman that you are and not just the friend that you are. If there is truely nothing there, you will know it, if there is, he will show it.
Good Luck....
2006-10-17 17:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by cowgirlduchess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad story but my dear girl he is being honest with you and you are not listening to what he is saying ..by spending time together that is not going to change how he feels about you..it is hard to be best friends and love him also so I say cool it down meanwhile get on with your life waiting for someone to change how he feels is stupid yes he has noticed you but not that way you are the 3rd party in this and you are heading for heartbreak..sureilll
2006-10-17 17:48:42 · answer #3 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not worth wasting your precious time on someone who is clearly *not* interested. Before too long you will find that the potential suitors are choosing women a few years younger than you. The "dating" pool shrinks as you age, lets face it. If you spend your best years in an imaginary world, you will pay for it later.
If your goal is to be in a healthy mutually affectionate relationship, you're barking up a wrong tree.
2006-10-17 17:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd let him go and start occupying my time in the pursuit of new friends. If he ever has a change of heart (romantically) he will let you know. It's painful and finally just plain silly to WISH for something that more than likely isn't ever going to happen...Move on..Lotta nice men in the world who who will ADORE you! Life is short.
2006-10-17 17:49:01 · answer #5 · answered by Thankyou4givengmeaheadache 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very hard decision to make but let me tell you something similar to me and I'm the happiest I've ever been. After 4 years of not speaking to an exboyfriend of mine I finally got into contact with him. I've always been good friends with his mom and family. Well, I thought I was falling in love with him again and tried everything to get him to get back together with me. We was in process of trying to get over his recent ex girlfriend and debating on moving on by just fooling around with someone else. I told him how I felt and still triend everything to get him to choose me. Well, after convincing him he's the one for me I was the one fooled. I convinced myself and got hurt in the process. It took me a long time to move on again, until I have fallen into a relationship (by internet) and in love with someone outside my usual circle. I am the happiest I have ever been and he hasn't turned to **** after I touched him. :) Anyway, I think it'll be hard but going out and taking your mind off him and finding someone for YOU is best. You may be missing out on a beautiful relationship. If this BF of yours is meant to be for you then ask yourself why it's not working. He's PROBABLY not for you. Just try looking else where. I'm still good friends with my ex, no lingering feeling and everyone's happy.
2006-10-17 17:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he'll get over her and it sounds like you're on track to be together eventually. Want to speed things up? Throw in some booze, sports flick, short skirt and that should jump things up a notch for you!
2006-10-17 17:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by bardstale 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he likes u but hes probably scared if u guys go out maybe he thinks one of u guys are going to get hurt really bad by one each other and stop speaking and maybe he doesnt want u guys to stop talking to each other for that reason but maybe u guys should wait or if u guys arnt going to break up and then maybe u should take that risk tell him again then maybe he would answer for once do what u think is best
2006-10-17 17:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by Pooh Bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,she is going to do what she wants and he is going to do what he wants, and if you wanna wait,then wait.But if you want to make something of your relationship with him,you better make the most of it now.Because he will move on as time pasts.He will get more attention from girls,you'll get involved with your social life.And pretty soon you'll both like dissapear from each other.You do what you want,I am cheering you on!But he' just going to do what he wants,and you can't stop him.
2006-10-17 17:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to change those musical chairs and move on with your life. He can probably sell his experiences to a TV show for some kind of sitcom.
2006-10-17 17:40:13 · answer #10 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋