I have 3 small children - 8 months, 3 (preschool), and 6 (grade 2). I have to cook everything from scratch since one child has allergies. I work from home half time and I'm the boss of a company of 60 people. I am also taking my master's. OMG - is anyone else going insane? I can't drop school else I'd be out $20,000 already.
My husband said I did it to myself and he's a help, but not a mom. Dad's seem to be able to separate more and not take as large of the minute parenting roles like laundry, cooking, or cleaning - or even taking kids to activities. Not that he doesn't try...
I'm the one that earns more money so I can't quit my job. Someone motivate me? Tell me your story.
2006-10-17 10:31:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am not doing all that you are doing, I am just a SAHM of 1 and #2 on the way, but I do know how you feel about hubby. My hubby comes home and sits on the couch while I am in the kitchen cooking and enteraining our son. Then I clean up after dinner and again my son is with me. We come in the living room and still I do everything with my son. I wake up in the night with him get up in the morning and take care of him 24 hours, now I know this is a mother's job, but If I had 5 minutes to sit and relax without my son, just 5 minutes were my hubby took care of him, oh it would be so nice.
Sorry that I didn't really motivate you, I just kind of ranted, but in other words I think moms are looked at to be the primary caregivers, so husband slack off and do what they want.
2006-10-17 10:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you became a mother you automatically took on about 100 other jobs which include cook, maid, nurse, doctor, chauffer, coach, teacher etc. Then you have to maintain a life of your own, a job that actually pays the bills and somehow manage to be a wife as well. I don't work away from home but we own a horse riding stable for the disabled children and I am the one who has to deal with all of the horses, the barn etc which is actually longer hours than a job on top of this have three kids 14, 8 and 7 as well as two step-kids 15 and 13. I have to help all three of them most nights with homework, run them to whatever activity is going on that night ( my daughter is a cheerleader and on the volleyball team as well as band and jazz band and four clubs, step son plays basketball, band and clubs, step daughter just clubs, youngest two have girl scouts, cub scouts, both of which I am the leader, soccer, karate, dance, and piano. All 5 ride and are involved in 4-H rodeos) keep up with the house, pay the bills, run the errands etc because my husband works 12 hour shifts at work and then comes home to work on fences or repairs around the barn and arenas. My day starts everyday at 4am even on weekends and if I am lucky I fall into bed by 11pm. The key is to get the kids involved, even as little as yours are there are things they can do tohelp and if you make it a fun thing they will gladly do it. And remember no matter how exhausted you are or how bad it seems what you are doing is one of the most worthwhile "jobs" you will ever have. And it isn't permanant when you finish school some of the tension goes and as the kids get older if they are brought up learning to help they can be more and more help. Just take one night hand the baby to dad tuck the other two in get a movie and a quart of ice cream pig out then soak in the tub it helps!
2006-10-17 19:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get everyone involved in helping. My 2 and 4 year olds get the silverware from the dishwasher, help me sort laundry, and match socks. A 6 year old can run a duster around the furniture. Chores are good for kids, boosts their self esteem, lets them know you BELIEVE in them and that they can do something by themselves.
Kids can put their clothes in their drawers too. (they may not be in as neat of piles as you put them in).
Your hubby -- you say he helps, well, maybe he can help more. Bathing the younger ones?? Laundry.....can't he cook?
As for cooking, I would do BIG meals on the weekends, and then freeze it for the week. Or revise meals for the crockpot so that you can throw it all in in the morning....
Your kids ARE small -- let the housework go (just a little -- I know it is hard -- I am a neatnik too!) and ENJOY the kids. Make the time you have with them count -- play games, do puzzles, snuggle, then the time you are busting your butt will seem more worthwhile and the fun family time will fuel you thru it.
2006-10-17 17:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Beth M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
K i really do agree with you when you say you are super mom. I have two dogs and a husband and am barely getting by doing the same stuff you do like laundry and cooking and feeding the kids (dogs). You need to ask your husband to help with laundry and cooking that might help take a little stress off you. He may even help by taking your kids to school or to their activities they need to get to. Family is a big help to. If you have a parent or anyone that can help you ask. They probably would love to help.
2006-10-17 17:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Tinkerbelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up being the eldest of 7 children and it was always about the oldest helping mom and dad out with everything. as i got older, i started having to be the next adult in the house which meant that i basically do everything a parent does. i drove my brothers and sister school or when necessary. i cooked and cleaned. i paid rent to my dad every month. it took a toll on me and i felt stressed out all the time. i felt tired and used. i felt like i wasnt doing my own growing up because i was always having to worry about my brothers and sisters. i dont live with them anymore, but now i have a step son and is very energetic. i learned how to deal by experience and i learned that it is a hard job-parenting. but its what we choose to do. my fiance and i work together in with the house. we're both very good about cleaning and we dont have an issue with it. our son is also very good about helping out around the house so it kind of alleviates the work load. we try to make it fun too even though deep down inside we're both too tired. being tired as it is... we still have to teach our children basic housekeeping and to keep up with it.
my dad and mom always taught us kids that we have chores and that it helps the entire house out if everyone does something. might not be perfect, but at least it was attempted to be.
im sure if you had your 2 yr old help you fold laundry, s/he'd get a kick out of it!
never the less... i do think that your husband should step in and be more of just mediocre help.
goodluck. stay sane for your children or get help.
2006-10-17 17:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there sister, you can do it! Having youngsters that close in age is a curse and a blessing! And I don't agree that you did it to yourself, lol, your beloved is somewhat responsible as well, right? Stick togetther and be proud of yourself for talking all of this on!
My kids are close in age as well, but teens now, so I have a whole different set of frustrations. It doesn't get easier, but it's worth the work!
2006-10-17 17:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Mo the treehugger! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bless you! and hang in there..... it will pass. And soon it will all be behind you.
I'm busy, but not nearly as busy as you are.
I would say that one thing that might help you is to make meals in bigger portions - then freeze 1/2 for the next week.
Most important if someone offers to help you - take it.
2006-10-17 17:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i only have 2 kids and a husband 3 cats a dog and a big lizard. i have a job and so does my husband. hears my day 6:30 am get up get 13 year old daughter on the bus or twice a week drive her cause she missed the bus 7am get adhd 11 year old son up for school give meds after the 4th time he has ran through the house making some wierd sqeeling noise i give him 2 choices for breakfast and everyday he ansewrs the same some type of BS that isn't even in a cook book then threaten to kill him or beat him eats his b fast tells me i am a bad mom i say oh well make him brush his teeth "with tooth paste" send himback in the bathroom to re brush his teeth several times threaten to kill him or beat him set his clothes out tell him to get dressed 10 minutes later still not dressed but managed to rip every thing off hangers in closet even though i set his cloths out threaten him some more but by this point i usually smack him and he laughs hystericaly sign his assisgnment book take him to the bus and take the dog out dog always sneaks away latley to go down the street to sniff out neibors pot plants and then goes crazy. come back in house feed the flippin zoo of pets try to use the bathroom with 1 40 pound cat 2 normal size cats and this hudge german shepard all in the bathroom just to bug me get ready go to work come home at 4:15 get son ready for football practice drive an hour sit there for 4 hours. then during wrestling season same thing except first tae kwon doe at from 5:30- 6:30 he changes in the car then do wrestling practice from 7:00- 9:00 and then squeeze in my daughter for what ever she wants to do somtimes volley ball socccer or softball she likes sports but it doesnt rule her life she just does differnt things hear and there or wants to hang out with friends. my husband usually tries to live at work cause we are all nuts i guess. i have to cook too but my kids don't have food allergies they were just blessed with we can barf on command and they hate everything if you make them eat it barf every where go to bed hungry oh migrane headace and now i clean barf out of there bed and if i have to wear the " super mom" label i want a cool costum like wonder women but i look more like a gorilla my legs are so harry i wear pants to bed because i make my self sick my hair is turning gray i bought some dye but daughter stole it oh and wonder womens pretty bloomers with stars yeh well mine arte ripped to shreads and are more like just a waste band. so if this kind of sounds like you my grandmother said it will get better i hope so.
2006-10-17 21:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by brightarrow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to get your priorities straight, you dont have to do everything in one day, i really think you have taken on too much and its not good for your health or the well being of your family. Maybe you should think about paying some one to help around the house and remember to have time to yourself occasionally.
2006-10-17 17:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you enjoy it then everything is okay right? As long as you can manage your stress, nurture your marriage, get help when needed and give unconditional love to your children then everything should run smoothly right? If you are happy, your kids are happy and your husband is happy then you don't need to change.
2006-10-17 17:39:58 · answer #10 · answered by sally 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋