Ok, I need your best dumb jokes...!?

Question

I'm looking for the really stupid, yet funny jokes that little kids love and repeat for days after hearing them. Example: "Why was the refrigerator embarrassed? Becasue he saw the salad dressing! " (hahaha)
Keep it short and keep it clean... If you have any good ones, leave 'em here.

Answer 1

Got moose?

too lazy.

Answer 2

here are some blonde jokes pass them on!

Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,

"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left cheek and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



THE BLONDE JOKE TO END

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Answer 3

Two TV antennas met on the roof, fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman . The kids weren't anything to look at either.

I went in to buy some camouflage pants but I couldn't find them.

Answer 4

Did you hear about the guy who jumped through the screen door? No, what happened? He strained himself.
How dumb do you want them? ha ha
How many idiots does it take to turn off a light bulb?
ans: 50. one to hold the switch and 49 to lift up the house.
Hold on: it gets worse.
Hey Bob. Do you know Fat Burns: No: Well it does.
Why do little chicks walk softly?
Ans: Cause they can't walk hardly.
The Little Dog went by the tree: The tree said dog, have one on me. The dog replied, as meek as a mouse.
I just had one on the house.

Answer 5

1-What do you get when you cross SpongeBob SquarePants with Albert Einstein?
answer= spongebob smarty pants.
2-From Scotland, age 12, NJ, USA
What does one wall say to another?
answer=I'll see you at the corner.
3-What did one math book say to the other math book?
answer=I've got more problems than you do.
4-From RaeAnn, age 10, Oklahoma, USA
What did the tie say to the hat?
answer="You go on a head, and I'll just hang around"
5-From Goksu, age 9, Canada, Ottawa
What did the shoe say to the shoe shiner when he woke up?
answer=Rise and shine!!!
6-From Lindy, T.
What did the metamorphic rock say to the igneous rock?
answer=Don't take me for granted (granite) because I am nice (gneiss)!
7-What did the school janitor say to the wall?
answer="One more crack like that and I'll plaster you."
8-From Natasha, age 12
What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
answer-You're looking sharp!
9-From Zack N., age 10, South Bend, Indiana
What did the cook give to his girlfriend when they got engaged?
answer=An onion ring!!, and lots of dough:)
10-From Juliuse Zanellia W., age 12, Irving, Texas
What did one clock say to the other clock when he got mad?

answer=You tick me off!

Answer 6

I don't know of any right off the top of my head, but you can always find silly kid jokes on the back of the laffy taffy pieces. You should be able to find bags of those easily with Halloween coming. Good luck and good for you for being kid friendly!

Answer 7

What do you call a cowboy?
Hamburger Helper

Wanna hear a dirty joke?
The man fell in the mud.

Knock knock
Who's there
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I left some of these jokes?

Answer 8

How do you know there was an elephant in your refrigerator?
His footprints were in the butter.

How do you know there is an elephant in your bed?
Because your nose is touching the ceiling.

How do you know there is an elephant in your bed?
There is an "E" on his pajamas.

How did the elephant hide in the cherry tree?
He painted his toenails red.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because Col Sanders was chasing him. (KFC)

Answer 9

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 ate 9 (789).

Answer 10

why was 6 afraid of 7?
because 7-ate-9!

that's the single only clean joke i know.
:-)

Answer 11

what proportion Emo's does it take to alter a lightbulb?? 2, one to alter it, the different to jot down the poem approximately how lots they leave out the different a million. what's the version between a custom and a instructor? practice is going "bite bite" the instructor says spit out your gum. Why did the fowl pass the line? To get to the different area!!!!