My boyfriend broke up with me today. he was saying that we were getting close and he doesn't like getting close to people even though he was the one who was getting close to me. He gave me the whole it's not you it's me thing. He said that he wanted to forget it happened and be friends and go back to hte way things were. Like that can happen. I have to talk to him otmmorow and I'll be crying the whole time. Please help me.
2006-10-17 09:44:30 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a classic action of a really insecure boyfriend. It's quite possible he's playing with your emotions and will use your crying as a sign of reassurance that he can easily get you back if he wants.
His suggestion to switch from a relationship back to friends overnight shows he wants to keep you around, but it also shows a total lack of respect.
Do you have to talk to him tomorrow? You need to cancel this if you can.
What you should do now is tell him you accept his wishes and you want no contact until further notice, so you can move on. He'll probably feel shock, but it's important you take some control & show him he doesn't hold all the cards.
He'll almost certainly go away and try to work this out. He'll suddenly respect your guts and feel like he's messed-up.
I suspect he'll come back within a few days with a new attitude and want to get back together. If he does, just listen and then tell him you're busy this week and will think about what he said. This is time he needs to realise he's been an idiot.
If he doesn't come back, then you're better off and you at least split on your terms & with some respect. Find someone a few years older with emotional stability
Good Luck.
2006-10-17 10:58:21 · answer #1 · answered by Cracker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, its so obvious that he doesn’t wanna get attach to someone n then worry abt losing them..he's clearly scared of losing you...mayb he's been thought this n doesn’t wanna go thought it again or he has seen it happen to people close 2 him n doesn’t wanna deal with it... whatever the case u have to b strong n I know its easy said than done…but u don’t have any other chose...just tell him that it will take u a lil time to get use 2 just being his friend... let me tell u something, this is not going to b a cake walk...its gonna b hard to stay friends with a guy u have feelings 4...yeah u can cry, u rather let it all out, but trust me…with time u will b ok…you may even look back n laugh at this...life doesn’t stop 4 any1...u will move on
2006-10-17 16:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by ArabianNite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got emotional/commitment problems... He needs a good counselor or preacher to tell him... "Dude, it's okay to have feelings for her beyond friendship... "
He's not dealing in reality... How can you share yourself intimately with someone and then "forget" it all happened... That's like seeing a murder and saying, "Eh, it didn't happen."
Get your crying out at home... When you see him tomorrow, make yourself rock hard. Tell him, "Friends? I have enough male friends... I may forgive you, but it will take me some time... Please, whatever you do... Don't call on me..."
Hopefully, it will wake him up to the fact that there are consequences to his actions... I'm hoping he'll call you on the pretense that he was checking to see how you are doing...
At which point ask him just as cold as you can force yourself to, "why should you care? You want to forget the whole thing.. I'm trying to move beyond it. You always struck me as an all or nothing type of guy. You don't want it all..."
At least, if he doesn't break, you'll be able to gain confidence that you'll be able to handle difficult situations as they arise.
I don't think he'll bulge because I think he's got serious issues that you can't really address. You should chalk it up as a valuable lesson, have a really good emotionally cleansing cry (Ben and Jerry make a fortune because of bad relationships), and find a new guy.
There is the outside chance, he'll crumble... You'll still need to help him find someone to talk about his issues... Counselor/pastor.... He doesn't need a psychiatrist.. Who deals with mentally disturbed people... He a physcologist... Who deals with talking through problems...
2006-10-17 16:57:47 · answer #3 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you have anything to say to him, write it down tonight and let him read it tomorrow. My ex did that to me too. Guys are so full of crap. But Ill tell you what, I moved on, got a new bf and am a million times happier with him than I was with all of my ex's combined. And another thing, you dont need him. Dont beg him to take you back. He is not worth more than you. Remember that the whole time you talk to him. You are worth more than he knows. When you move on and are happy, he will regret what he has done and thats his problem. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Tell him whatever you want to say, then let go of him. Dont let him drag you down. you have a whole life to live and you dont need to waste another second loving someone who doesnt love you. The guy for you is out there, go find him
2006-10-17 16:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by katie-bug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a Little child "Things were getting too Close"....What the ****?, I Say forget about him and Move on, Or better yet, Rebound his *** with his Best guy friend, See how he Responds to that if your Up for it And if he overeacts and Seems jelous, He still likes you and the Whole "It's Not you...It's me" Thing would seem like a ******* lie if he get's Jelous if your Moving on!
2006-10-17 16:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by kittysweetie19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the relationship was getting a bit too serious for him? I know it is impossible to go back to being friends once you have grown close to someone. I would write it off as a loss and move forward.
2006-10-17 16:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont cry i makes u feel worse trust me talk to some other guys maybe flirt LOL.. HAve a good time go out with ur friends to the movies or something to forget about the break up just dont cry because that just makes everything worse ( make-up, eyes get red pshht who wants that???) LOL
2006-10-17 16:52:13 · answer #7 · answered by [T][A][V][I][A] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he still wants you in his life. If someone wanted to break up with someone because they didn't have feelings for them, they would not want them to stay in their life. It sounds to me like he is just confused. Granted, there's no reading his mind. But thats what it sounds like. Give it some time, take a little time to heal and then talk. Don't go talk to him the next day, you two need some time to clear your heads before talking! hope this helps.
2006-10-17 16:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by ladyophelia7777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i just went through the same thing. do not worry. it is ok to cry. my gf broke up with me and she cried. i am still there for her when she needs me but as a friend not as a bf. think about what u want 2 say 2 him and practice it before u go to see him 2morrow
2006-10-17 16:47:39 · answer #9 · answered by beaverman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
22 hours ago you were asking about kissing him for the first time and now the sky is falling because he broke up with you? There will be hundreds of other boys.
2006-10-17 16:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋