I went back to work 4 months ago after being a stay at home mom. I have been home with my children since they were born. I'm still having a hard time dropping them off at their grandma's. It hurts me to see them cry when I leave. When does it get easier to be away from your kids? Does it ever hurt less?
2006-10-17 09:40:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
AWWW! Bless your heart! MAN! Do I remember THOSE days! My kids are 11 and 13 now, but my first (son) was able to have me home, however finances wouldn't let me do that with my second one (daughter)! I also know on the other foot (babysitter/daycare) that the kids cry when they KNOW they're pushing your buttons, but as soon as you disappear - they forgot all about it and they're playing like crazy. They really are okay, mom. Everyone is different on how long they feel this neglect, but it's up to you. You can do it. Just spend LOTS of time after you pick them up to make up for it!! That's what I did. Even their first day of Kindergarten was a KILLER! There's no set time frame. It's all up to you, girlfriend! Good luck!
2006-10-17 09:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by curiousgeorgette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and the kids are experiencing whats called "separation anxiety" and yes it does get easier. Once the children realize that you DO return back to them every day at the same time, they will stop crying which should be very soon. The way to help them make the transition smoother is for you not to linger and cling to them when you are dropping them off, give them a kiss and get out the door. We moms forget to realize that they are just fine with whoever you have left them with and WILL BE FINE after you are gone. You have some guilt associated with leaving them but you really shouldn't they will soon see the pattern of how you return at the same time everyday. Good Luck.
2006-10-17 16:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by Honeygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine. I would be sad and I don't think it could get easier for me. I am a full time mom at home and am used to seeing them all day. I was raised by my grandma for 13 years and I was sad staying with her at first but then I became so attatched to her and we are still so close to this day. I remember her more than I do my mom who worked full time in the past which means that I basically called her my mom. Just personal experience.
2006-10-17 16:49:32 · answer #3 · answered by sally 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Babe, you're not leaving your kids for torture sessions. It's their Grandma. It gets easier for all of you. Make the goodbye quick! Don't linger. Smile, be cheerful -- or act like it. Tell them you'll see them later, have fun, goodbye and then GO! The kids may be taking their cues from you. Be consistent and give it time. You can always call Grandma later and check up on things ... and I have the feeling that is what you do.
2006-10-17 16:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very close to my children, too. We feel responsible for their health, mental and emotional well-being, their safety, everything. I cried when my children left for kindergarten, the first sleep over, their first day of middle school, first date, first dance, first day of high school, graduation, first day of college, first broken heart, college graduation, moving away, wedding day, birth announcements for grandchildren, birth of grandchildren, leaving grandchildren to go home........
We can't avoid these feelings, but we can reassure our children that we love them and that we will return.... It hurts me to see them cry, too, I just want to "fix it". Pay attention to your children when you are with them, continue to "bond". Show how much you care by being there when they really need you and talk with them about the things that really matter, as they grow.
You are a warm and caring mother, your child is blessed.
2006-10-17 17:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by kaydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a perfectly natural response and shows that you love your kids . It probably will get easier as they get more independent and go out more and more, but it wil still hurt when they go off to college and leave you forever:(
2006-10-17 16:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure it does...I was a stay at home dad for four years. I made the time I was home special and planned lots of suprises...I always felt the best defense is a good attack...Plan special times...pay attention when you have time...the kids may not tell you they appreciate it but they will notice.
2006-10-17 16:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by koalatcomics 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how old are they? if they're under 5, separating from you is damaging to them, and therefore the pain you feel is nature telling you to stop damaging them. we're not supposed to eventually find it easier to hurt our own flesh and blood.
it's a good sign you feel the pain, tho, because y'all are attached. what can you do to make it better?
2006-10-17 17:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will either get used to the crying, or they will get used to you being gone. Either way is not easy.....
2006-10-17 16:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be glad grandma's there for you. as they get older they will not cry . and it will get better. hope i know what i'am talking about.
2006-10-17 16:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by tweed801 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋