My parents are driving me bannanas! and I don't even live at home anymore. They come over every day for hours at a time. I mean from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep they are there, and I'm TIRED of it. I've tried to be nice and it didn't work. I really want my own space, that's why I moved out and plus I have a kid, my mom just pushes me to the side and take over, I am tired of it, she's my child and I'm doing a pretty good job form my eyes. Any insight will be apresiated.
2006-10-17 09:13:10 · 18 answers · asked by lill_angel_07_88 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
they do have a key in cases of emerginces.
they've used it to go through my mail and stuff. They even walked in on me and my man having an intimate moment. **blush**
2006-10-18 10:18:22 · update #1
It sounds to me like your parents worry about you and feel responsible for your welfare.....if you can sit down and talk to them and reassure them that you are ok and that you sometimes need a little time alone with your child, i am sure they will feel more relaxed and listen to your needs.
2006-10-17 09:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that you have probably tried talking to them, setting bounderiesand limits..etc.... But sometimes words dont cut it and you need action. When it comes to parents especially those with issues like yours sometimes it needs drastic axtion or basically change.
You need to tell them u r taking a vacation so that they are not worried. The move to another city or somthing thats not inconviniencing to your job.life or childs scedule. Stay gone or undercover for about a month. So that they dont panic. call them once a week to tell them u r ok But do not tell them where you are and Use a non listed number. restrict their call from ur cell phone snd tell them where u r , u cant ans your phone (like out of region or smthing). stay thre untill you think they get the message which is they need to find smthing to do like a hobby, also you need to keep reminding them that they have done their job That raising you and they need to let u do yours. In one month they will realise they should live their own lives. Tell them the truth but dont overdo it remember they are your parents. if you can you can actually move away like 4 hours away they cant keep driving 4 hrs a day. Be firm about them staying away, calling before visiting etc. If you can afford it, get them those cruise tickets. It will give them something to do for a long time. If they see you survive life without their interfearance life will be good.
Trust me all they need is distance and a reminder that they made vows to live with each 4ever not you.
Good luck.
2006-10-17 16:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by fizzosgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there...my mom came here to visit for three months, by the second week, I wanted to buy her the ticket back to her house. I love my mom, but I don't like when she or even my father tells me what to do,even more how to raise my kids , I know how frustrated you are feeling right now. But on their behalf they don't do it ON purpose, I mean, they don't go to your house with the intention on bothering you or make your life miserable, they obviously visit you because they love you and your kid, and they just probably think you could use a hand, even some company, So I really don't know what to tell you other than, "I understand exactly how you feel" just be patient, perhaps if you tell them that you love them and that you appreciate them being there for you, but sometimes you need some space for yourself, you want to raise your child the same way as they did with you, obviously they raised a great woman, who is taking responsibility for her child. Good Luck!
2006-10-17 16:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well seems like your mother is your biggest problem.. so go to your dad and tell him that you want to try and make it on your own..Tell him that you got your own place to make a home for you and your daughter. and that you love them both but you have to have the space and time that you can work it out for yourself.
see if you can set up a couple times during the week that you can go to there house to visit then you can leave when you want to and get ready too. invite them to your house for supper or something once in a while so that they both know that they are still welcome to come visit but not every night.. your dad will understand what you are saying ..
Try talking to him and he can tell you mother how you feel.
your a big girl you can now take care of yourself and you little one.
Talking is always the best way..
2006-10-17 16:22:43 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you better vent this to your parents before you have a nervous breakdown. Then you won't be any good to yourself or your child. And that's when mom's and pop's is really going to take over. Girlfriend----cry, scream, holler but get your point across. Or just don't answer the door. I hope they don't have keys to your house. If you're driving and they can't see your vehicle, hide in the house until they go away!
2006-10-17 16:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? And why are you allowing your mom to treat you this way? If you know they're at the door, don't answer it. If they call, tell them you need some 'alone' time with YOUR family. If they have keys to your place, get them back and ask your parents to call before visiting. If you act like an adult and stand up for yourself and your daughter, maybe they'll start treating you like an adult. Good luck and see about some counseling for yourself AND your parents. You don't say anything about your dad, does he let your mom bulldoze him, too?
2006-10-17 16:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by kittycatdance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit them down and tell them that your a mum now and you need space and set boundaries like they have to phone before they come round to see if your free or in etc. And do they have a key to your house as that is another mistake. But say summat now before it slips out at an innopropriate time and regret how it come across.
2006-10-17 17:24:41 · answer #7 · answered by sez75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trying to be nice does not always work when it comes to your parents, so you need to be blunt, and you can still be nice while doing it. have them over for dinner that should not be a problem right? lol tell them that although you love them and enjoy their company, you and your daughter need just mother daughter time, and with them being there all the time you are not getting that. you can also tell them that you are an adult now and need your space to grow. tell them that you are going to work out a schedule with them as to when is the best time to come over. and if this does not work, then maybe when they come over tell them that you are busy right now and to call the next time, to make sure that you are not busy. this may hurt their feelings at first, but if you stick with it they will learn to adjust.
2006-10-17 16:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suddenly find yourself busy...they want to come over well you're busy today and have plans. tell them that your friend is in town and you want to spend the day with her/him. tell them that your friend (the one with kids also) was thinking of getting the kids together for lunch, brunch, dinner or to go somewhere to play. make up something. i guarantee the more they hear the excuses the more they will realize what is going on...and you need the space to spend time with your child.
2006-10-17 16:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by KodeNmKidzNxtDoor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be straight up and say "this is how I want to raise my child." and "I moved out for a reason". Tell them to call before they come over.
2006-10-17 16:38:26 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋