For as long as I've known him he's been miserable and moody. He runs the house like a tyrant by acting like a petulant child. The doctor has examined him time and again but apart from high blood pressure there isn't a damn thing wrong with him. Meanwhile he does nothing - and that means nothing - but sit on one chair, drinking gallons of beer and whisky (which does not actually affect him oddly enough or not physically anyway) and smoking. He's got us walking on eggshells and is still néver happy, my stomach is in knots if I even hear him come up the stairs because he'll have a gripe. He manages to make you feel so useless.
I feel like a total failure as a daughter and yet he has done nothing to ever deserve my sympathy. I know it sounds like no big deal maybe since he doesn't hit us but I just want to yell at him now and I'm scared.
How can he be suffering stress, he's been retired four years and does NOTHING.
2006-10-17 09:05:44 · 12 answers · asked by Elle Dee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thats probably what his problem is HE DOES NOTHING, seems to me that he neeeds to find some sort of hobby Besides Drinking to occupy his time. The beer and whisky could be making him act this way..Have a family member talk to him about getting a hobby and his temper..
2006-10-17 09:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by Tracy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg, I know exactly how you feel. There was never been a time I am not on eggshells when my father is home. Everyone in my home was scared of him and all he would do, we wouldnt and sometimes still dont know when he will blow up and get angry from the smallest things.. It is very scary.. I eventually grew some courage and started standing up to him, he hates it, but he backs down tremendously. Im talking if, he yells at me, I yell right back! Just as loud, if not louder.. Im not scared of him anymore. He's hurt us so badly now, he gets it back.. I know the honor thy parents thing, but heck! We dont deserve that, right? sorry your dad is mean and drinks a lot.. I hope you get the courage one day! If you are old enough, you can move out get some roommates, or go to college.. If that will help..
2006-10-17 16:20:36 · answer #2 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you feel as my dad was the same way...well, he actually hit us / verbal abuse...etc. But there is nothing you can do, but to walk on egg shells...(remembering this gives me goose bumps). It is the alcohol that is making him act this way (so, think about that when you wanna have a drink...it's hereditary). I never had any friends over, because they were scarred to come to my house not knowing what he will fly off the handle about next. I didn't have a social life and when I was 17, he moved out...it was the best day of my life at that point. I never saw him much after that, he didn't come to my wedding, because I asked my brother to walk me down the isle. Doesn't send any of his grandchildren presents for b-day's christmas...etc. I finally moved to the Midwest to be close to my sister (well, he actually lives here to) and thought that I would try and make a relationship with him. On a visit to Grandpa's house (trying to make a relationship with him at this point)...my child walked up to him (age 8) and said...ya know what Grandpa...I know what your problem is...you drink too much. After that my children never wanted to go back there, and we didn't...it never phased him, he never asked why...well it got worse and worse...till finally I sent him a certified letter stating that if he ever wants to be a part of my life with my children then he would have to be sober to do it...I haven't spoken to him since...but his truck is parked at the same bar at the same time every single day!
Good luck! Sorry, but I know exactly what you are going through.
2006-10-17 17:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, how old are you?
I can relate to how you feel. My father doesn't drink and there are times where I can catch him a "better mood." My father to me is hypocritical. Around me he acts hateful and belittles me, yet around others he compliments me and tries to hug me (etc).
Honestly, there is going to have to be some major confrontation for anything to get resolved. You should go to your father and explain how he makes you feel. Tell him that you want nothing more but to live in a peaceful household, where you don't have to walk on egg shells. Have you spoken to your mother or other syblings about this? I AM NOT suggesting that you hold a family meeting where everyone attacks your father, because then he would get defensive and retaliate.
Most people go through stages where thy dislike their parents. You might seek help from a school counselor or if you are older tough it out a little while longer until you can move out on your own. That is what I did, and I can never be more happier. I am sorry about your father. That is one thing I dont understand about life: how good people can get bad parents and how bad people can get good ones.
Good luck and keep me posted. Feel free to email me if you want to share more details to spread light on the situation. I am willing to talk it through with you.
Good luck, Dizzys_gal
2006-10-17 16:38:14 · answer #4 · answered by dizzys_gal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that was how my dad was.
he would get home from work tell us to get out of the room change the tv channnel and start drinking.
or he would shout his *** off at my mum for no reason.
doctor said he was fine
but he wasnt
like my dad it sounds like he is an alcoholic and depressed. believe it or not it can be hard doing nothing everyday. each day is the same as the last and it never ends.
it made my dad a diabectic in the end
it split my parents up.
he needs support and help and something to look 4wd to or he will never get out of it.
also if he wont admit there is something wrong the doctor wont do anything.
2006-10-17 16:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you're an adult why don't u just leave? It's a form of mental abuse. It has to stop
I'm sure there's lots of help out there for people in your situation.
Life is too short for you to undergo this miserable situation. Please don't feel like a failure, it's like giving him the power to let you feel like that.
Approach a friend or family member that you can trust or the Social Services.
Good Luck
2006-10-17 16:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how it feels. My father used to hit us too. Treated us like we were not humans. I have refused to let him destroy my confidence and self esteem. Problem is his drinking problem. Anger, agitation, anxiety, aggressive behaviour, depression and stress are unfortunately by-products of chronic drinking. Emotional abuse is a s bad or even worse than being hit in my experience. Get some advice from domestic violence teams in your area. They are good.
2006-10-17 17:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by Clementinah N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me he looked like depressed. Doing nothing, I think deep down he is the one who feels useless don't you think? Don't let him change your self esteem about yourself in a bad way, after all, think he is not in a good state to judge you. Hope soon he gets better as there's nothing wrong with you.
2006-10-20 13:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by better late than never 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry,u have to be strong ,soon this days'll pass resisst on smthng and ur fther problem is DO ANYTHNG and thats not ur FAULT as daughter
2006-10-17 17:02:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him to hang with you and do the things you like becasue then he might get over his gloomy self
2006-10-17 22:21:59 · answer #10 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋