would you give your teen a drink?

Question

ok first off, I am NOT advocating giving kids alcohol. But some parents say that giving their teens a drink at home makes them not as drawn to it outside the home, like at parties. It is legal to give your own child alcohol by the way-just not anyone elses. In some cultures, wine with a meal is given to even younger children. And in those families, it has been said that drinking problems are far less common.

I was just curious what people's opinions or experiences were with this issue. My kids are not old enough yet but I want to be prepared. thanks!

I wanted to add that it is legal in MY state to give your child alcohol. (WA state). It may not be in every state.

Answer 1

I don't think that you can get in trouble for giving your own child a drink, but giving other people's children drinks is where parents get in trouble. I do see your point and agree with you, but I also think that a teen is not going to want to drink with their parents and would rather drink with friends. So, unless you would be willing to risk giving other kids alcohol, it wont work.

Answer 2

My daughter is going on 14. I have allowed her to try alcohol for about a year now. She really like certain wines and drinks it a few times a month with dinner. She has never been drunk yet. But knows if she asks politely and the circumsatnces are right she may have a shot, or a glass of wine.

My theory has always been she will know she doesn't have to do this behind my back. I plan on letting her get completely wasted one night so she can feel the effects of a hangover in a safe enviorment. I want her to learn her limits at home, not at some frat party in colege where she may get raped if she gets too drunk her first night out.

My teen knows under no circumstances is she allowed to drink outsideof my presnece until she is 21. This has also led to very frank discussions about alcohol abuse, drugs, sex, and STD's. So I am very happy so far with the path I have choosen.

Answer 3

I know that being extreme on either side of the spectrum is not good. Totally restricting any alcohol consumption and teaching their kids alcohol is evil can make it more likely that they abuse it or make it look more appealing. I also know that being an alcoholic and overusing and abusing it is unhealthy as well. I think that when a teen reaches a certain age, depending on their maturity, that it is OK for a parent to allow their older child to have a sip of wine or a little alcohol so they learn a healthy respect for it. I believe parents should educate their kids on the effects of alcohol and both the pros and cons of moderately consuming it. I also believe that they should be very educated in what happens when you abuse alcohol. My family was overbearing and said no alcohol, no way, it's evil and I never really developed a taste for it. my husband grew up with parents who allowed him to have a nice glass of wine with dinner (after he was 15) on special occasions and he drinks, but not daily or in large quantities. I think educating them and building a respect for the drink is good parenting.

Answer 4

I'm half German and Italian, so even at a very young age my parents would let us take a sip or two of the wine or beer. and by the time i was 16 at diner it wasn't uncommon to have a glass of wine with the adults. i dont see any harm in allowing my own child to have a sip of an alcoholic drink, but be sure to supervise them i think it wrong when parents buy a keg for their childs b-day party when they are younger than 21. trust your intuition and go ahead and also trust that your child wont go out and drink like a drunk. you are a mother and you know whats best for your children.

Answer 5

We don't drink and I grew up without alcohol. I got drunk once when I was 17 and was so sick I never took another drink. I don't think I would give my children alcohol and teach them that they don't need alcohol to have a good time. I know some day that they will make their own decision about drinking. I would try to teach them to be responsible, like not drinking and driving.
That's the key, I think, teaching them about the consequences of drinking. Getting hang overs, car wreaks, acting stupid while intoxicated should be shared when they are older and can understand it.

Good luck

Answer 6

When I was a teen, my parents allowed me to have a sip of whatever they were drinking, and when we went on vacation in france, they let me drink wine with every meal. I have never had an alcohol problem. I think that letting your kids drink small amounts of alcohol (one glass of wine) will discourage them from drinking outside because the main reason kids drink is to piss off their parents or be rebellious, if they don't feel like they are rebelling, they are less likely to do it. Also, small amounts of alcohol will not damage their brains or anything, it's not like smoking which will damage your lungs in any amount, so I advocate letting your children have some alcohol as long as it is moderated.

Answer 7

To answer your question I would give my teen a taste but no I would not give her a whole drink. You are right - it is legal to give your own child alcohol (I couldn't believe it the first time I heard it) and you are not allowed to give to anyone else's. I think that giving them a taste is harmless but allowing them to consume and get drunk is stupid. Getting drunk will be the end result if they intend to drink. Would your child want to drink by himself or do you have all his friends over and their parents so that they all can drink together?! And what kind of message are we sending our children if we do that when really the legal age is 21.
Unless we lock them up and do not let them out of our site - they will be going to party's and they will be tempted to drink. We just pray that we have instilled in them what they need to know and hope they make the right choices.

Answer 8

My husband comes from a family where he was taken to Mexico for his 11th bday to get drunk! They grew up being allowed to drink with family and smoked pot together. They may be a bit more extreme, but that was the goal- to make it less thrilling when outside of the home. It did not work. Of the 4 kids, 2 are alcoholics, 1 commited suicide 5 years ago and was also battling addiction problems, and my husband knows that he could easily drink himself to death, so he avoids it. Teach them it is no ok, until they are adults and can be responsible. Instill good values and teach them other ways to have fn and relax. Then, when they dabble with drinking, it will hopefully just be occasional, not the only way they know to have fun, live, relax. I am not for it.

Answer 9

I think that it is okay. It takes the mystery away. My mom offered me my first drink and I never ever drank in high school away from her. As someone else said, you do have to judge it by each individual child.

I also think that explaining it to them when they are little is good. Explain it to them by saying something like "There are things only kids can do and things only adults can do. Only kids get summers off, and spring break, and get to come home and play, when grown ups have to come home they have to make dinner. Somethings that only grown ups can do are drive cars, drink alcohol, and vote. When you are 16, you can drive. When you are 18, you can vote. When you are 21, you can drink." Then demonstrate this rule occasionally by having a drink, model drinking responsibly by only having one, and not allowing your child to. If you don't make it some big issue of rebellion, they won't either.

Answer 10

my mom always tried to give me alcohol, since I was very young. I guess she thought my reaction to it was funny. But anyway, I rarely drink now that I am old enough. I do think that the more you keep it from them, the more likely they are to be careless when you are not around. I'm sure you are not an alcoholic yourself, because obviously, they may take something like that and see it as normal down the road and become alcoholics themselves.