I started dating this guy about 3.5 months ago. He was attentive, polite, funny, smart, pretty much all the things I was looking for in a man. I didn't want to assume he wanted a relationship, so we dated, had fun, hung out, etc. No pressure. One day, he intoduces me to some people he just met as "his girlfriend". After that, he shared how he felt really strongly for me, as I did for him. So we were boyfriend and girlfriend for about a month when he started to act funny. He wouldn't return my calls & would rarely call me (about once every 3-4 days) When I asked what was up, he explained to me that work was really getting to him (7 days/wk) & his depression was starting to resurface (he was on meds, but doesn't want to rely on them anymore). I believe when he says it's not me. I tried to give him space, but broke up w/ him for my own sanity. We talk occasionally & he says he still has those same feelings for me. I want to be w/ him. But can't. What should I do?
2006-10-17 09:04:49 · 4 answers · asked by Mila 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In my opinion, you already did what you needed to do. Obviously his depression was dragging you down so you broke it off to defend yourself. Smart move.
Now. Obviously you still are attracted to him. But is it really him that attracts you, or is it maybe his looks, a smile, wanting to help him? We all tend to see others more as we want them to be than for what they really are. Is this true for you? are you saying to yourself, "If only . .?' or ,"If he was more like . . .?" or <"I could help him if he would only let me."
And maybe I am misreading the situation entirely. Are you asking whether you should try to stick around for his sake? You left him to protect yourself. If this is still how you feel, it may be time to separate entirely- -stop all contact. This may be the only way you can convince him (& yourself?) that it is over.
It's not easy. But being really honest now saves more pain down the road for both of you.
I have chronic depression and have tried dropping the meds also. It don't work for me, and I really value the people who let me know it wasn't working, even those that left cause tthey couldn't stand being around me anymore. Sure, it hurt, but I feel better now than if I hadn't learned the truth. Good Luck, Hon.
2006-10-17 09:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by bob h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just began this relationship with this guy, and it sounds to me that he has a great deal of issues, that i don't think someone just beginning a relationship should be involved with. if you were with this guy for longer and this occurred i would stay stick by him, but in this case i say move on. it is to soon in the relationship to make his problems your problems.
2006-10-17 16:13:35 · answer #2 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him staying on his meds a manditory to be in a relationship with you.
2006-10-17 16:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wat is the matter with him? If he really likes u then there shouldnt be any worring. Go back out with him and if things really go back to normal then u were right the 1st time. But give him a 2nd chance
2006-10-17 16:10:33 · answer #4 · answered by Annikinz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋