My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half now and neither one of us know if or when we are ready. How do you tell?
2006-10-17 08:55:46 · 14 answers · asked by cowgirl16 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow... Well... The fact that you are even talking about it is a very mature and good way to go. I knew my wife for almost four years before we figured out we loved each other. If you are not sure you want to get married... don't get married. It is my personal opinion that someone who has not yet completed growing up (and believe me, I took longer than most) is not ready to get married yet.
This is a decision BOTH of you MUST come together at some point and AGREE. It is all right not to get married and just date or go on to different relationships. If you are not done with college, actually know what kind of dream you want to pursue (ON YOUR OWN), and neither of you are really sure what dreams you want to pursue together, you are not ready to get married.
When it came down to it, neither my wife nor I questioned whether or not we were ready to get married. We KNEW we were in love and we wanted to get married. I have only been married for about 6 months, but it was quite the epiphany when we both realized that we shared the same dreams. Good luck and I hope you are both able to figure it out!
2006-10-17 09:02:40 · answer #1 · answered by Just another 2D character online 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know, then you aren't ready. Please remember that their is no correct "time". It is when you are ready to settle down, buy a house, start a family and begin planning for a future. That happens when you are BOTH ready for it. Talk about it with him and in the mean time, just have fun and enjoy each other's company. Move in together if you want and see what it is like to live together. Save the walk down the isle for when you are sure this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. More than half of marriages today end in divorce, take the time to make a good decision. Good Luck!
2006-10-17 08:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a serious conversation with him. Each of you should write down things you want in your spouse and issues that are important to you about marriage (religion, children, working, money, where to live, etc) You both should be absolutely honest and see where you match up. If things are way off, you may be able to work through it or just realize that your relationship may just be for this specific time in your life. You both should be open to exploring this--if he is hestitant, then he probably isn't ready to commit to marriage. A big part about getting married is knowing yourself. Often it's not the other person but your own place in life that dictates your readiness. Just be honest and talk it out.
2006-10-17 09:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel that nothing else matters all you want is to wake up and be with this person for ever and share everything when all that once matter matters no more and it's all about you and him then you are ready but, if you still have that party animal in you I say you are not ready same goes for him talk about it you would tell by his actions and the things he says to you by the look of things I feel none of you are ready when your ready you feel it
2006-10-17 09:00:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to tell, is to see how you feel. If both of you answer these questions with yes then it is time.
1. Do I love this person with all of my heart?
2. Do I see myself gray and wrinkled sitting next to this person also just as gray and wrinkled?
3. Is it impossible for me to see myself without this person?
4. Can I live with this person's imperfections?
5. Can I live with this person without trying to change him/her?
6. Can we be together without talking and be totally comfortable?
7. Am I totally honest with this person?
8. Do I feel that this person is totally honest with me?
9. Do I see myself at the alter saying I do without feeling nervous about this commitment?
10. Does getting married feel like the right thing to do?
My wife and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary and we are just as in love as the day we got married. We knew we were ready to get married and had no hesitation. On my wedding day I walked into the church and joked with everyone. I was so comfortable that I felt like I was going to a regular church service, the only difference was that I was in a tux and really excited about seeing and marrying my bride.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-17 09:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year is not enough, wait a little more, but if you both love each other very much and you are responsible enough for marriage then go ahead. Marriage isn't a fairytale, it's romantic and beautiful but it has a lot of challenges.
2006-10-17 08:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ready for marriage when neither of you has these doubts.
2006-10-17 08:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you have to ask total strangers online if you are ready to be married then you are not.
2006-10-17 08:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by Michael 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were ready, you'd know. simple as that. if you can see yourself growing old with him that's a good sign.
2006-10-17 08:58:03 · answer #9 · answered by advicemom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust your instict. you will know. if you are comfortable with each other and trust each other then it shouldn't be a problem. But you must know how you truly feel deep within yourself
2006-10-18 04:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by shycountryboy85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋