I just agreed to allow him to live with my wife and kids and this is how he repaid me. What should I do? He told me that my 14 year old sister used to dry hump him when he was younger and that is why he chose to do it to my daughter, his niece. I feel so bad because I love him to death and I want to help him but I also have to protect my daughter. I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
2006-10-17 08:53:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is not doing this to hurt her...he is simply acting out after what happened to him. get them both in therapy ASAP.
2006-10-17 08:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sara 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You hit the nail on the head in saying that you have to protect your daughter. Kids who act out sexually are nearly always imitating something inappropriate they have seen or experienced in their home environment, so poor kid he needs help and it's not his fault. But, he needs to get the help in a home which has no younger or weaker children he can victimize with this behavior. It would be a good idea to get your state Child Protective Services involved in this, because they could place him in a Treatment-level foster home with no younger children, and foster parents who have experience dealing with kids who act out sexually. Don't send him back where he came from, because it seems likely he had been sexually abused there. But you absolutely CAN NOT give him a "second chance" and keep him in your home! Your daughter could be seriously harmed. If he is placed somewhere appropriate, your family can remain as involved as possible with him as long as he is never left alone with your daughter or another small child.
2006-10-17 09:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your brother needs some help that you are not going to be able to give to him,i think that it is best that until he gets this help that he not be allowed to be alone with your daughter at all. may i also suggest that you put an alarm on his bedroom door. its simple really, when he goes to bed at night, set it and when the door opens an alarm will go off. im sure he is not meaning to hurt your daughter or your family, i know about these alarms because a Friend of mine had to use one for her son that walked in his sleep and they would find him out side and in kitchen cooking, etc. but please explain this to your brother as to why you are doing this. in the mean time get him some help. this is not his fault, as im sure you are aware. if this does not help then you will need to find a place for him to live that has no small children. sorry.
2006-10-17 09:39:32 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has obviously seen this type of behavior either on tv or in person. I work with elementary children and unfortunately this type of behavior is getting very common. You need to talk with him and explain that he isn't in trouble but that type of behavior is unacceptible. If this continues or there other issues that you notice later or have already noticed then you should get him into counseling asap. There are plenty of agencies that have sliding scale fees. Because it was done to him, he probably doesn't understand that it is wrong to do it to your daughter. Get him some help... The young man you love is still in there, he just needs a little love and professional guidance. Good luck!!!
2006-10-17 09:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by angiee631 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Holy smokes. Reading that put knots in my stomach. I have a 4 year old daughter as well. He need to know that it is not alright to do that. What his sister did to him was not right either. I am sure he will understand. You have to teach him right from wrong because obviously he doesn't know that is wrong. Keep him away from the sister. Maybe you should talk to her. Do not kick him out. Just keep a close eye on him and watch what he does. If you show that you care, I am sure that he will respond to what you teach him. Sounds like he very fragile so be careful how you say things to him.
2006-10-17 08:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Hello karnotda j,
Let me begin answering your question with a few questions before I begin. What were the reasons you agreed to let him live with you and and family? Did you include your wife in the decision making process? What was your daughters reaction to what was being done to her? Have you and your wife talked with her about it? How would you describe you brothers overall personality and characteristics? (well behaved, promiscuous? etc.)
If you would answer these questions I might be able to give you a better answer to your question.
Thank you Zettie
2006-10-17 09:41:57 · answer #6 · answered by Musicmaiden4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't "repaying" you by doing this. If this is something that was done to him, he needs to see a professional because he has been sexually abused by his older sister. He is only ten, he doesn't know what he is doing is wrong. Help him.
2006-10-17 09:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by Lissa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
daughter has to come first!!!! get the boy out of there... get him some help...before it stops being a dry run!
2006-10-17 09:03:02 · answer #8 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well you cant really punish him because he proll doesnt knwo any better. u need to talk to him about it but make it comfortable wit5h him. if hes not comfortable he wont reallys ay anything, and i would find out if his sister really did do that to him or if it was what he said to stay out of trouble
2006-10-17 09:29:00 · answer #9 · answered by lpxerounderground 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him out of the house! and get him some help!!!
2006-10-17 09:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him out of the house and get him some help!!!
2006-10-17 08:57:08 · answer #11 · answered by shoot.bang 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋