i found out on friday that my boyfriend was cheating on me and we split up. wed been together 3 years and it was a shock cos i really love him. anyway he says he cant live without me in his life and wants to b best friends. can this work? he really hurt me.
2006-10-17 08:49:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why would you want to be best friends with someone who could hurt you like he did? You were together for THREE years - do you think he didn't know it would hurt you? When he was with this other person, he thought about you - guaranteed...and made a CONSCIENCE decision to cheat. To betray your trust, your love and the commitment he had made to you. Still want to be his friend?
That's pretty harsh, I know, but do yourself a favor - stay away from him for a while - even just a few weeks and reflect on his treatment of you and your heart. Think about and feel what he did to you. If you are able to forgive and trust him again, and you still want to be friends, then go for it. I think it's a mistake and you are a far more generous person than I'll ever be, but if it's what you want and you REALLY think this person is trustworthy and worthy of you and your time, then do it. Be his friend. I hope I'm not reading another question from you someday when he betrays your friendship too. Really. That would suck for you.
One more thing to ponder...you know he's only saying he wants to be your 'best friend' to keep you in the background and waiting in case things don't work out with the other girl, right? He doesn't want to be your best friend...he doesn't know what a friend is. And he clearly has no clue what a boyfriend should be either. Oh, and he's saying these things to you because he BELIEVES you will fall for it. Something in your relationship has led him to think he can manipulate you and your feelings - even after hurting you so carelessly, and you'll just let him. Will you? Will you be manipulated by someone who has shredded your trust, crushed your love and pretty much just blatantly disrespected you? And all this AFTER you gave him three years of your life?
I'm sorry - I know it bites to be you right now and this isn't some inspiring answer full of faith, hope and goodwill...but it is pretty realistic. I hope you'll give it some serious thought (think long-term) before deciding that this person has any right to be in your life. Hey! Here's a thought...Don't be a manipulated welcome mat for him anymore. Do something that will really surprise him and tell him to enjoy his other girl, to grow up and to get lost because he is not worthy of your friendship, much less the love you wasted on him for so long.
Find your self-respect and love and be sure he understands he screwed up because you don't need his...
I hope it all works out the way you want and you aren't hurt by him anymore.
2006-10-17 09:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by Grá 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-05-06 04:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, he still cares about you enough to be friends. Not too many guys stays friends with their ex cause they windup hating each other or something. Yeah, I think it'll be good to be friends, but it might take a while until you're best friends-if you reach that far. So, see what happens and I hope it works out the best for you! Bye! ^.^
2006-10-17 08:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by Eevee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After being together that long, I don't think a friendship will work. If you remain friends, you won't be able to heal and move on with your life. Do you really want to know when he starts dating again and all that "friendship" type stuff?
2006-10-17 08:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to be best friends with someone who really hurt you? I would think you would want to avoid that person and any future pain he might cause you. You can't trust him - and I hope you don't. He doesn't deserve you as a friend and you can find much better than him.
2006-10-17 08:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It deffinitly is. My ex and I have become really close. He and I talk all the time on the phone. It is never good to completly cut off communication. Just calmly have small talk with him like in between classes. talk about a test you just had or your next class.
2006-10-17 08:52:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, but he'll use your inner hope that you can as long as you let him. He is less concerned about you and more concerned that he not suffer consequences for his actions.
Also the biggest requirement for a best friend is being trustworthy. He's already proven he isn't.
2006-10-17 08:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Phil H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It could work if you are both over the relationship and if you ended the relationship before someone got hurt. If you're still dealing with wounds then no it won't work.
2006-10-17 08:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not right away. You have to get over him before you can be friends with him. Sounds like he will just talk you into getting back together. Don't fall for it.
2006-10-17 08:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by apriljm76 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, he CAN live without you in his life. If you want to be his friend, and can forgive him, then that's up to you...but do it because you want to do it, not because he's whining that he can't live without you...that would be a huge turnoff to me and more reason to get away from him...
2006-10-17 08:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋