i have a lot this is my favorite
there was a blonde that hated blonde jokes and she didnt like to see dumb blondes
so she was driving through nebraska
and she saw a blonde rowing her heart out in the middle of a corn field she stopped her car and stomped to the side of the road and yelled at the lady
"it is blondes like you that make blondes like me look stupid and if i could swim i would go out there and kick your but"
2006-10-17 07:50:52 · 22 answers · asked by ~♥ LilPink ♥~ 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
am a blonde
and still love blonde jokes
2006-10-18 15:29:11 · update #1
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney?
A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.
Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: What does a blonde Owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating? A: Went home and got 16 friends.
Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries?
A: She's got a checkbook.
Q: How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde?
A: There's a stamp on it.
Play Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags on your dumb blonde friends (or anyone else for that matter) :-)
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: Threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: Keep breakin em' with hammers.
Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
Q: What's the guaranteed method to totally confuse a Blonde Man?
A: Ask him to alphabetise a King-size bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's the difference between a dumb blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: Manages to get the Pop Tarts out the toaster in one piece.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
2006-10-17 07:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by sunburstpixie 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?
A. "OH LOOK!!! Donut seeds."
Bank robbery Joke
Two blondes, Trisha and Robin decided to rob a bank together.
The first blonde, Trisha plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Robin, in great detail.
The robbery begins. Trisha drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Robin, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan.
You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said Robin.
Robin goes in the bank while Trisha waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes . . .
Two minutes pass . . .
Seven minutes pass . . . and Trisha is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Robin. She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the gals are getting away, Trisha says "You are such a blonde! I thought you understood the plan!"
Robin said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," said Trish. "You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
Q.What's the difference between a blond and a brick?
A. When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around.
Blondes in heaven Joke
A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!" she said. But Saint Peter said not to worry, he'd make it easy. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter. The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter.
Then she started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..."
Q. Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer?
A. She fell in the sink!
I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.... she gave me change! :o)
2006-10-17 15:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a blonde, redhead, and brunette are all at the top of a mountain
the redhead says, wow what a great view!
the brunette looks at the changing leaves around them and says, yes it really is beautiful!
the blonde looks at both of them and says, what? what?! i can't see anything over the stupid trees!!
there's a brunette and 3 blondes walking across a bridge when it breaks, they all hold on and begin to crawl upward after it settles but the dangling bridge slowly starts slipping again. the brunette knows that someone has to let go, so she says she will. befor she goes, she gives this long speech about how she wishes them happiness and love in life after this and she finally says goodbye. all the blondes clap...
2006-10-17 15:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by vitamin r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A brunette is jumping between the median in the middle of a street. As she is jumping back and forth she is saying loudly 31, 31, 31, 31(as she goes from side to side) Along comes a blonde and asks if she canget out there and do that.... The brunette agrees.... after a mintute goes by a truck comes by and WHAM! Smashes the blonde....
The brunette gets back out in the middle of the street and starts jumping back and forth in the median sayng loudly 32, 32, 32, 32, 32, 32, 32, 32..........
2006-10-17 15:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by tigrpawwz 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sorry, I post all the blonde jokes that I get.
2006-10-17 15:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this blonde sees a strange looking bottle on a fellow secretaries desk......she ask, 'what is that?'
the lady says, 'it's a thermos......you know, it keeps hot stuff hot, cold stuff cold.'
the blonde is thrilled and asks where to find one.
the next day, the blonde comes to work just grinning like crazy, under her arm, a thermos.
the secretary sees it, smiles back, says, 'so, you got yourself a thermos?'
'yes,' she says.
'well, what did you bring today?'
'two cups of coffee and a popsicle!'
2006-10-17 15:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by melissa 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What does a blonde make best for dinner?
-- Reservations.
2006-10-20 14:17:46 · answer #7 · answered by Mella 87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A: She forgot to take the kleenex out of the box ;)
2006-10-17 14:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by A 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two blondes walking down the street one says "oh no a dead bird" the other one looks into the sky and says "where"
2006-10-17 15:15:44 · answer #9 · answered by ball_cathie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
okay, this is my favourite.
why did the dumb blonde have a sore bellybutton?
because her boyfriend was a dumb blonde too.
2006-10-17 15:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by skywarp_38 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋