My child's kindergarden teacher singles him out in front of the classroom. Points her finger in his face telling him he needs to be more responsible, and participate in group activities. She is so intense and aggressive he just shuts down. Should I tell the teacher off, and of the many ways she is not showing any positive reinforcement,and move him to a new classroom or let her be a drill sargent?
2006-10-17 07:01:48 · 15 answers · asked by herbestgirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Isn'tit funny how the instinctiveness to protect our children like we were mother bears and our little ones were cubs. I know many times I have defended my son when I needed to step back and really look at things a little more clearly.
First of all, most teachers went into teaching because they love kids and are nurturing. I know there are exceptions, but, realize that she probably does love chidlren and wants what is best for them. If you go in screaming.......what example are you setting for your child. Be the person you want your child to be. Teach him positive ways to handle conflict and have him go in to the meeting too. Sit down together as a team and tell him exactly what he needs to do in the classroom in order to have a good day. Then as teacher and parent come up with a positive reward plan and a positive discipline system if he breaks the rules:
no recess, no tv after school
Ask for daily notes home with positive statements whenever appropriate.
or have her call you.
Visit scool often to see how it is going.
no gym...no play outside at home
Then visit the school often.
2006-10-17 14:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to call the teacher NOW. Warm up with how you both want the best for all the kids and tell her your son is uncomfortable. Don't accuse-- report how he is feeling. Stress how you and the teacher have the same goal--creating a child who loves learning---and ask her how you can best work together to do this. Let her give suggestions, see what she says.
IMPORTANT: this is the warning shot across her bow that you are a reasonable, mature person and your kid needs to be happy in her class. Plus, if you have to go up the ladder it is important to future school dealings to start this way.
DOCUMENT the conversation and take notes.
Meanwhile, get on the phone and find everyone you know who has had a child in K in that school and see who they say the good ones are. Go into the school and peek at classrooms even if there are no kids in them.
Send your kid to school for 2 days after talking with the teacher and see if there is a change. If there isn't, see if the school has a guidance counselor and call him/her next. Mention that not every kid and teacher are a good personality fit. Tell the GC how the kid FEELS. If you have a list of incidents you can list, okay. But a good GC is going to be concerned the child is afraid and feels threatened.
***My son had this problem and he told me the teacher "yelled" at him. Turns out she is very soft-spoken so saying she "yelled" made folks discount what I was saying. However, those soft-spoken words were cutting and harsh and no less painful because of a lower volume. By stressing how he feels rather than saying she is a shrieking drill sargent you might have an easier time of it***
Most educators today believe that children need to be feel safe and able to take risks to learn, so saying he's scared/upset will be a trigger for them.
If there is no GC, go to the Principal.
The GC or Principal will talk to the teacher. If you do not have improved results within 2 more days, tell the Principal that your child MUST be moved. Use your list of good K teachers for suggestions of where to move the child.
I cannot stress this enough---give the teacher a couple of days and the higher ups a couple of days. Move fast. My son was increasingly miserable with his K teacher. I went to the GC and the NEXT DAY everything was greatly improved. The damage was done, though, and he had developed a distaste for school.
In the fall and spring begin researching grade 1 teachers.
2006-10-17 17:27:34 · answer #2 · answered by bookmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move him. This is the foundation for whether or not he will see school as a positive thing. She sounds unstable and like one of those teachers who takes a dislike to certain students and can't be professional enough to treat them all fairly. If you think it would do any good (it sounds like it wouldn't) you could have a conference with her, but your best bet would probably be to go to the principal and ask him to be switched. Some schools don't like to do that, but your child has rights, one of which is to be treated fairly at school and not terrorized by an unstable teacher. If they say they won't move him, don't back down, demand that he be placed in a new class. Also, if you know of any other kids that are being treated that way by the teacher, talk to their parents. If you have someone to back you up, the principal will have no choice but to see reason and realize this teacher is a problem. Good Luck.
2006-10-17 16:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off how do you know this is going on, did you ever think that there is something minor going on or he is doing something to need corrected. If you have observed this than address it with the princpal, if you are going by what your child said you must keep in mind that even the best of kids tends to exaggerate the situation when they are getting in trouble so you wont be made at them. If the teacher is doing this she has probably done it before and if you ask around you will be able to find out. If the teacher has a good reputation then the situation should be adressed with her and find out why she is doing what she is doing. If it is as you stated then you persue it til she is fired, or some corrective action is taken.
2006-10-17 23:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by AMANDA B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know she does this and have you observed him in class? What are all the other mothers' opinions about this teacher? You have to really get in there to assess the situation and determine what is going on. How do you know she is aggressive? If she is someone that you don't like and don't want teaching your child then you should remove him and put him in a different class. He will enjoy learning so much more and be happier. I had to put up with horrible teachers in the past and still to this day I remember the bad feelings. It just isn't worth it in the end.
2006-10-17 16:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by sally 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Touchy subject. First off, speak to the teacher privately - preferably after school hours, and one on one. Try not to get confrontational, but present in "Bobby feels like you are picking on him... I'd like to hear your views on this so we can work together to make things better all the way around" kind of way. If then she gets adversarial, escalate it - go to the prinicpal of the school and ask for a class change, if that doesn't work, approach the school board. Remember - if you go in looking to confront the teacher, she'll have no reason to work with you. If you go in as a concerned parent who is willing to help change things and she goes nuts, you still come out ahead.
Good luck!!
2006-10-17 16:30:19 · answer #6 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let the school fool you. You have the right to talk to the teacher and tell her that her behavior is not only upseting to your child but to you also. Try to make her understand that this is the foundation upon which your child will base his school experiances on and that even thoughshe "expects" more from your child you expect more from her. If she is unresponsive then you need to go to the principle or administrator and discuss the problem and pull your child from that teacher. Don't let the school fool you and say they can't. It is their job to help your child learn. If he is shutting down than he isn't learning and the teacher isn't teaching.
2006-10-17 22:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by puzzleraspie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow someone else's kid being picked on... well... sounds like my son's kindergarden... Oh my and let me tell you he will HATE school because of a bad teacher like that. First of all I would call the principal and ask her to set up a meeting with the teacher, yourself and the principal... voice your concerns with both of them. If you feel like you get nowhere then go to the school board... and also see if your son can be moved to another class.
Good Luck!
2006-10-17 16:38:54 · answer #8 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should follow the chain of command...First, go to the teacher, if not resolved to your satisfaction, then go the principal. If the principal is not of any help, then by all means take it to the board. But I know it will only be so long that you can keep your child in this class.
2006-10-17 20:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by ladymystique 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your son is what?5? I would tell her she is not to speak to him like that it scares him and of course she will not get a response from him. Then change classes if not schools. This is bullying through and through and there is no way I would tolerate it. Your son is too little to stand up to her, your not. Go tomorrow and set it straight
2006-10-18 05:41:34 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋