I have a drawer and some closet space and we spend a lot of time together. She has a teen age daughter. Is that setting a bad example? How do you KNOW it is the RIGHT time?
2006-10-17 06:44:29 · 59 answers · asked by Doug C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I see a few things I see:
1. You must want to move in with this girl but you don't know when the right time is.
2. You have a teen girl to deal with.
3. You are not sure how to talk about it or you would have already.
4. You don't have a moral issue with it.
First, you never really know but only you two would know when the right time is. The drawer, closet space are indications that you are moving in the "move-in" direction. Also, consider if you have taken trips together, slept over excessively, when you are spending more and more time at her place, if you have started moving clothes over there, when none of her daily habits annoy or surprise you, or when she wants to do your laundry.
Ask yourself, "Do you want to marry her." If you can say YES and are committed then at least you are ready. Ask her what she thinks. Set goals and a financial plan.
When it comes to marriage slow down. If you want to live with her and you are committed then do it. Marriage doesn't have to be fast or even the step. For instance, if you spend a lot of time together then it would be idiotic for you both to keep spending money to live separately it would be financially beneficial. Sharing bills may be the next logical step.
The teen at home is a tough one. When children of any age are involved you must ARE an example wether you want to or not. If the teen is mature enough, talk to her. Getting married may not be the right example if it is a bad relationship or ends in divorce. Also, if the teen is moving soon then this becomes a non-issue. Make sure your girlfriend and the teen feel comfortable.
2006-10-17 08:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by tracetraining 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she has a child from a previous marriage or relationship, then it might be confusing for the child to move in and play house.
Only move in with her if you are ready to commit to her and adopt her daughter.
If you're not ready to do that, then the message you will be sending her and her daughter is that you are not relaible so they shouldn't count on you. You don't love or care enough about them to make a legal committment. You are showing them that a man can use a woman for sex and friendship without giving her the comfort and security of a promised partnership.
WHy not just get married? Are you holding out for someone better? Do you NEED to remain 'available'? Or is this woman a compatible partner, whom you love and respect, and see as a worthy equal? Do you care for her daughter? DO you have a relationship with her (fatherly figure)? The daughter is part of the package.....
Don't do it until you have thought this through more.
2006-10-17 07:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should make sure you are both committed to eachother. If you love eachother and plan on spending your life together, then maybe it's the right time. If you plan on getting married one day, then maybe you should wait until then to move in with eachother. The time is right when you both feel it is right, so make a decision that you will both be able to live with. Also, if you do plan on moving in together, talk with the daughter about her feelings, make sure she can understand and handle it. If she can't then maybe you should wait.
The thing is, you're not just in a relationship with your girlfriend, but with her daughter also, so make sure they are both comfortable.
2006-10-17 07:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To move in with her would be like you are married set a good example for the daughter and just ask for her hand in marriage.
2006-10-17 07:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by Nicolette G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in into you really know what this girl is like. Everyone can't live with everyone. YOu probably start moving clothes over there and spend the night before just moving in. Slow down, take your time. Don't be quick to move in with her into your sure about living with her. Do you really want to move in with her and do you love her? Would you marry her? What kind of level are yall on with each other? Take your time, there's no rush.
2006-10-17 07:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by delawaregirl83 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been dating? How old is this teenage daughter (there's a big difference in maturity between 13 and 19). It's really up to you and the woman...but make sure it's the appropriate step for where your relationship is, where you see it going, and taking into consideration the effect on the child.
2006-10-17 07:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you're married.
As a single guy, why would you live with a GF & give up waking up when you want, staying up as late as you want, cleaning (or not) when you feel like it, not having to make conversation when you eat, blasting the music, watching what you want on TV, reading the newspaper uninterrupted while you have a big breakfast & drink your coffee, etc. etc.?
Enjoy being single while you're not married, and when you are married then give it all the effort including sacrificing the aforementioned.
2006-10-17 07:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by Babyface 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you both feel that you are ready and willing to put up with being each other 24/7. As far as setting a good example moving in is not setting a good example, but if you get along and show her an example of how couples are supposed to get along, it will help smooth over the bad example.
2006-10-17 07:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by barbie2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say since she has a teenage daughter, you shouldn't move in unless you have plans for marriage. You'd both be setting a bad example. If you're sleeping over at her place and the daughter knows, you already are.
2006-10-17 07:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move in together, why? Think about what all you will be giving up.And yes a mother with a teenage daughter should always think about living with a man. Plus you never know, you might find a lady that you are very serious about and MARRY her.Living with someone and marrying is SO different.. But you choose.
2006-10-17 06:56:12 · answer #10 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋