Super Shy!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Im really really really shy. and i ike this one guy. i realy want to ask him out but im so scared that he's going to say no. i have class with him and i dont want him to say no and i have to face him in class. ya know. please help. i fell like i might throw up im so nerves

Answer 1

Lemme tell you, i used to be shy as well. then, i realized that honestly, you blow things out of proportion in your mind, always doubting yourself and thinking that others are doing the same. as a very wise and crazy maan once told me, "you don't go to a halloween party without a costume". This sounds off, but it makes sense...think of this. everyone else can talk freely, without fear of saying the wrong thing. if you're worried that everyone thinks you say wrong things, you don't voice out...which puts you into more of a public spotlight. another example, if you are at a party and are afraid of looking dumb, and sit out, you're drawing attention to yourself as the one person who isn't dancing. there's always someone in a social scenario that speaks/dances/looks weirder than you, so don't worry about it. as for this guy...just try your best. work up the courage. only you know when you're ready. one thing i suggest is to not ask your friends to help...sometimes their definition of "help" is way off from yours. you don't want them to embarrass you. good luck, and please email me if you need any more advice.

Answer 2

LOL I know exactly what you are going through. I used to be super shy around boys I liked too, and to some extent I still am. Let me ask you something if I may: How old are you?
I'm only asking this because you seem pretty young, and I don't want to go off on the wrong foot here so bare with me on this. I think you should let it go, you seem a little to young to be getting sick over a guy. If your afraid that he'll say no then maybe your not ready to go out with him. Cause face it sweetie, there will be times when you will get hurt by a guy, it's not good to fear it. Cause then you might as well just stay at home and never date! That's the ups and downs of the dating world.
Look, if you really like him then I would suggest getting to know him better. Be his friend, but don't rush into dating him just yet. Then when you find out more about him and he actually knows you to and likes you then go for it! But for now just be his friend. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I'm just telling you from experience. I know it's hard being shy around guys you like, but please try not to let it get to you it's not good to do so. I wish you all the luck in the world:)

Answer 3

First know that even shy people deserve happiness. Then find a way to approach him without taking a big chance. Bring in something, such as some cookies or something else that's interesting to share with him. Guys like to be spoken to by a girl. Could be he is shy too and you would be doing him a huge favor! Ask him what was the last movie he saw, and if you want, tell him you feel like inviting him to go see one ( Know what is playing, so you can say you were thinking of seeing one in particular). Or ask him when he last went to the museum, art show, rodeo, concert, fishing,or anything else. Ask questions that don't get a yes or no answer, such as "what kind of film do you like to watch" instead of "do you like this or that, which is a one word answer. By asking the right questions, you can learn about him without being embarrassed. One thing for sure, you may never find out (unless you talk to him) whether he wants to talk to you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Don't ask him out. Just ask him about some thing small from that day.
It would be a small and simple comment. For example "I had trouble with that issue too." No one is going to read anything into a small sentance.

Then gauge his reaction.

If he ignores the comment, just drop it for the day and say something different to him in a couple of days. Just a simple comment.

If he turns and responds positively with a full sentance, then say one sentance back to him.

Basicly, however much he says to you, you can extend the conversation by that much with simple comments. He will not know what you are thinking and you will not be intrusive if you set your conversational level to match his.

Keep these small conversations going each day or two until he inititiates the conversation by asking you a question or makes a small comment to you.

With this approach, he is NEVER going to say "No" to you and you will be able to tell what he thinks of you by you judging the tone and inflection of his voice when he does talk to you.

This may take three or four weeks, but if he likes you, you will be able to see it by the look on his face when he sees you walk into the room. Then he will be asking you.

Signed,
Super Shy myself.

Answer 5

Just go and tell him you love him or write a note. The worst that could happen is a 'no' from him.

Why are you shy? Just ask yourself, why should you be shy? Don't think about what others will say because others talk bad about everyone. You should not care about anyone.

If you see a not shy girl, just ask yourself, "what does she have, that I don't". Its hard to come out of shyness so go step by step.

First talk to people more and ask questions. Then in class sit at the back and ask your teacher a question, people will glance at you but it does not matter. Then dress the way you want and don't care about others. Then talk to boys like you talk to girls.

Everyone is shy but they just learn to come out of it. Whats the worst, everyone pointing fingers at you and laughing. Let them laugh. Every single person in this world i'm sure (including me) have been insulted and humiliated by someone. Just get out of it.

Good luck and hope he accepts your love and you two get together

Answer 6

Baby steps. If you jump too far ahead right away, you could scare him off. Especially since it sounds like you haven't talked much to him at all - you'll effectively be coming out of nowhere.

Get to know him. Find excuses for small talk (do research on him if you need to) - if you do group work in class, try to finagle your way into a group with him. This is the crucial step of letting him know you exist. It will also give you more chance for research.

Once you know him, try and figure out some sort of group activity he can join you in. If a bunch of your friends are going out together for dinner and a movie, see if he wants to tag along. If you've done the first step right, it won't be immediately obvious that you're interested. Save that for one or two "dates" later, where you ask him to go out and it's just the two of you.

Answer 7

My first question to you is why are you so shy? The second I have is what have you got to be so afraid of?

Whether this guy says yes or no is irrelevant. Because if it isn't this guy it will be the next, then the next, etc.

You have what's known as a hole in your boundary. You lack confidence in yourself and the very act of asking someone out scares the heck out of you. There's only one way to do this, and that is to ask him out, no matter how scared you feel. If he's says no, it doesn't matter, there are tons of guys out there who would love to date you. If he says yes then you'll see it wasn't a big deal

But you don't see that yet.

My advice would be to work on your boundaries and find your identity. When you know who you are you won't be so SHY!Below is a link that may help.

Answer 8

Hold back from this. I know it's hard to be calculating in this situation but you need a strategy. Blurting out your feelings will scare him off and you could be left feeling humiliated. Instead find out all you can about him. For example what are his interests, what music does he like, of course does he have a girlfriend, that sort of thing. You need to demystify him because he's not a rock star you want to meet, he's just a guy and you are a girl who wants to be his special friend not his groupie.

Answer 9

like most people said, just ask him right out, and if that's too nerve racking write him a note. The worst thing he could do is say no. If he does say no, then he's not what you think he really is. But don't ask him right out like others have said, make small talk, and all, don't worry YOU CAN DO IT!

Answer 10

The only thing that I can tell you is take it from me, you need to ask him! I let a guy slip through my fingers before and you will never stop wondering. I have always been really shy myself, and it's something that's really hard to get over, but taking the bull by the horns and talking to him will also REALLY help your shyness!

Remember, confidence is very attractive!