I've been so faithful to my boyfriend for 2.5 years and he continues to lie and cheat on me. He always goes on line and chats to other women, but says he doesn't. He gets extremely irrate when i try to talk to him about it and denies it. I know for a fact that he meets and chats to other women on line. I love him so much, but he wont talk to me about it. I dont know for sure if this is secret (or sick) obsession. I am the best thing that has ever happened to him! He pursued me and wouldn't leave me alone until I decided to give him a chance. Now I have, and my heart is broke!!!! Please Help!
2006-10-17 06:40:06 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not necessary. leave him.
ignore him and move away.
good luck.
2006-10-17 07:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is obsessed here? You or him.
You call chatting on line with other women cheating? IE, he's spending time away from me, therefore it is cheating. Who's obsessed? You have to be the center of his attention, always? Can he have dreams? Do they have to be about you also?
And you're vain!!! "I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him!"
I'm sorry if I'm coming across as being mean spirited, but I feel you need to realize that the world doesn't center around you. You need to re read what you wrote and see how self centered it is.
Okay, for arguments sake that he's obsessing women on line with these chats.
1) He's lying. That is unacceptable.
2) He's flirting at most with other girls on line unless they've come up with some new software or more appropriate HARDware. He's not going to expose you to STDs... He also can't have outside children...
3) If it becomes physical, you have excuse to leave.
4) You've attempted to talk to him about it, so you've done all you can do. I guess if you feel driven enough. You could go to his home, disconnect his computer and sit on his keyboard and says, "Why don't WE chat for a change!!"
5) Why don't you count your blessings that he showed this before your relationship went to marriage...
If he's so ashamed of doing this and you're a great girl... Kick him to the curb and go on. Have a good cry, get it out of your system, and find a really good guy.
2006-10-17 07:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could do sooo much better. I've in a relationship JUST like yours for 7 years... 7 YEARS!!!! He did the same thing and treated me like garbage. I Finally put my foot down and left him. I had to file a restraining order cuz he kept pursuing and wouldn't quit. I felt terrible thinking in the back of my head that he can change, and that he feels terrible now and would believe him when he says that he won't do it again. It was TOUGH! I had my best friend there the whole time reminding me of all the BS I would go through if I cancelled the restraining order.
The next year I found the best, beautiful guy on this planet. (He's a model too) ;-) He treats me like a QUEEN! And I kick myself in the *** everyday wondering WHY IN THE WORLD I stayed with the previous jerk for so long!? If this depresses you this much, then you can only be happier elsewhere. I know you are so attached to him, so used to every way he does things. But its really time to move on. He's taking you for granted. Don't talk to him.. Just let him go... Contact me if you need more help, girl.. This is one tough situation.
2006-10-17 07:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by Jenna S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing i learned from experience is that if you let yourself get treated that way, he will continue to. If you realize that your worth more then how he is treating you. You will realize that the more you stand up for yourself the more respect you will receive.
If you don't respect yourself why should he?
I'm telling you because i've been there and the only one thing that change my guy was because i finally had it with him. I told him everything he was doing that hurt me and that i deserved better. Once he realized i wasn't going to put up with his stuff anymore his the one that changed. If he doesn't start treating better...your the one with the decision.
Do you want to stay in the same situation or are you ready to get treated the way you deserve?
You may love him with all your heart and soul but his not respecting you. His not the only fish in the sea.
2006-10-17 07:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by dodgergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is so easy to tell you about. He likes the cat and mouse games. HE caught hes mouse (you) and you are turning out to be lots of fun to play with,and he can even catch mice on the side. Why would he go anywhere he can cheat on you anytime anywhere and you put up with it. You might get mad about it or leave for little bit but your there. A strong women would leave she wouldn't sit around to listen to his story's. Grow a back bone, honey nobody deserves to be treated like that.
2006-10-17 08:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by roni_lane81981 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make a stand. If this guy isn't good for you, move on. If he come and pursued you to give him another chance, than you will take him to the computer and show him all the things he has done. If he doesn't talk then, then you know it is game over. If he talk, well you have to go from there then.
2006-10-17 06:53:43 · answer #6 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay with a man that lies to you and cheats on you. Do you really not care that much about yourself to the point where you are overlooking the fact that this man is an ASSHOLE.
If you were the best thing that has ever happened to him, then he would not feel the need to cheat and lie to you.
Move out, and get on with your life. Life is to short to spend time with someone who is being disrespectful to you.
2006-10-17 06:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by E_E 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A man can only do to you what you allow him to. If you continue to stay with him and ALLOW him to treat you this way, then he's going to feel like he can do it because you deal with it. You have to put your foot down. Take a break from his lying, cheatin self. If he really, really loves you he'll do what ever it takes to make things right. If he doesn't, he'll just let you go and not care. You as a woman have to love yourself, love yourself enough to know you deserve better, love yourself enough to know that you don't have to put up with BS from no man, love yourself enough to know that he's not treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
2006-10-17 07:15:32 · answer #8 · answered by ladystarrchild107 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't stay w/ him. u know why?
cuz he lies and cheats. don't tell me the "Dream guy" u've always wanted LIES and CHEATS on you!!! no way! stop living in the fantasy of the fun times, and wake up to reality... find a guy who u can be Proud of, Happy with, Make a Positive life with, and will treat you Right..... i'm sure u do that for him, why don't u think u deserve that back? who cares if he gets "IRATE"??? if i were u, i'd be like " uh uh, the next time u mess up, i'm out, see u later, i don't need this crap"... u know? if he keeps cheating on u, that means Your love is NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM!!! why are u staying w/ a jerk who treats ur love like crap? find someone who Appreciates, Loves, Admires, Cares for, and Grows with you!!! good luck girl... you are a wonderful girlfriend capable of so much, so give it to someone who deserves it....!
2006-10-17 06:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should move on, there are more fish in the sea and you deserve to be treated better. Better a broken heart than a disease that he has contracted from someone he met on line. You will alright. good luck
2006-10-17 07:20:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok ask yourself these questions., do you nag and whine too much.sounds a bit like it......put on a few pounds lately? When was the last time you gave him Oral to completion? where..outdoors, in front of a movie, what about Anal? does he like BDSM are you ever ready to submit to his pleasures? Becasue if you are not thousands of girls out there will, and pretty damn quick too, get with the program and shape up before you end up lonely depressed and overweight....and I am serious and right..do not listen to the religios nutters, geeky guys, lonely bitter hags, and the betrayed who missed the boat already., xx Good Luck and I do mean it xx
2006-10-17 06:52:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋