My 7 year old son thinks that since we aren't married he is going to leave. How do you reasure your child that we don't have to be married to have a family.
2006-10-17 06:14:17 · 15 answers · asked by Taletha H 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your son is not just smart, he's VERY smart. He understands the concept of family more than you. He realizes that people should get married BEFORE they have babies.
He also sees that you and his father are not together, so why would this be any different.
We (our society) should NOT be letting kids know it's OK to have babies first and then get married or not, it doesn't matter. This will greatly affect how your son grows up and deals with women when the time comes.
If you're so confident that you both will stay together, GET MARRIED. For your son's sake and that of your unborn child.
2006-10-17 07:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mahira 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
unless there is obvious problems with the relationship, there should be no reason why your son would ask these questions unless someone at school is saying something.
What type of relationship does your son see you and the father of your baby? you didn't mention that the father of your unborn baby was also his father. so i ask this. where is his father? maybe this is an issue you will have to sit down and explain that love means working together. and just reassure him everyday. how involved is the father of your baby with your son? maybe your son really loves him and is just worried someone again will leave him?
I am so rolling my eyes at all the "well no wonder, you're not married, you have to be married, you shouldn't be pregnant anyway, you're a bad mother" responses. Jeez...you'd think there was a magic barrier that keeps families together just by a piece of paper. you people do know there is such a thing as divorce right??
2006-10-17 06:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your child that even though yall are not married, yall still love each other and love your son just the same. Just because you arent married doesn't mean you can't have a family and love one another. Yall will both always be there for your son right? So yall are family! You don't have to be married to be a family! Blood is blood! That's the best proof possible of a family! < Kim
2006-10-17 06:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The father of my kids and I are not married, we're expecting our fourth child together in May. Marriage is just not for some people, we have no desire to walk down the isle anytime soon. We know we love each other and the girls' know we love them. Tell your son that marriage is a peice of paper and won't stop him from leaving even then. Have him sit down and explain to your son that he wants to stay around and love your new baby as well as him. It'll take time, but kids learn by example, tell your boyfriend to set the example. Good luck and congrats to you!
2006-10-17 08:08:46 · answer #4 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
since it's not really true, you would have to lie to him to convince him of that. statistically, the odds are much better of your family holding together if you're married. statistically, if you are not married and if your son is not the bio child of your bf, your 7 yo son is in greater danger from your bf.
why not marry? sometimes, all a couple has is their committment. your son, like all of our kids, is trying to get you to see the truth.
Read Leci's questions and you will see that all is not so cool when you're not married to your babies' father.
2006-10-17 07:52:57 · answer #5 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe if you do family days or something?
i realize improbably not being much help but maybe if you all got together on the weekends and just hung out together go to the park or beach
i no some 1 whos daughter hated her stepfather then her mother began to let her daughter decide on an activity and the whole family spends the day doing that one thing together and it has helped the the whole lot of them get along
does this help you at all?
good luck
2006-10-17 06:30:19 · answer #6 · answered by rayleeburchell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't. Even if you were married you can not reassure that. but being amrried is a committment. I am not a religious person, but I do believe in marriage and commitment. If you are committed enough to have a baby with someone then you should be committed enough to get married.
2006-10-17 06:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by jachooz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you dont need to be married to have a family but your son is smart. He knows that marriage is a commitment and is wary because of lack of commitment.
2006-10-17 06:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son is right. Imagine that. A 7 year old can see what's up and you can't. Sad.
2006-10-17 06:46:47 · answer #9 · answered by In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him that..tell him you don't have to be married to have a baby and that not every one likes to get married....but maybe tell him that not all people get married and maybe getting married could be a good thing for you guys but some family they get married and every thing turns upside down....they start to fight and and the husband if its that bad will start to beat you up
2006-10-17 06:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋