Boyfriend of 10 months has been taking a class with a girls who he gives a ride to everytime they have class together. Found out he has been inviting her to workout with him. He didnot invite me because he said that he did not think that I was interested in working out like they do. I have asked to go but he has not invited me. This girl apperently has a boyfriend so I am not sure what is going on. He has been wanting to spend more time with me than usual and has been very nice and more affectionate recently, taking me places to get things etc. What do you think ??? Is it ok for him to invite her to work out together and drive her to classes. I want to trust him but I don't want to be the fool either.
2006-10-17 06:13:52 · 45 answers · asked by Queen459789 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want to trust him then trust him. It doesnt sound to me like you want to trust him at all.
2006-10-17 06:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he's wanting to spend more time with you, has been very nice, more affectionate, and taking you places to get things...
You see things here that are positive affirmations that improve YOUR love life/relationship and you assume he's cheating...
Maybe SHE is giving him a female perspective on how to spice things up in YOUR relationship. Did you ever think of that?
Where you really get into trouble is if he has new moves in the bedroom and calls out her name!!!
Usually, things start falling down between the two of you when he's seeing someone else. He wants out of the relationship to be with her because she's doing something fresh and exciting. That's usually a strong signal of cheating.
I think he's found a friend that he can talk about your relationship with that he's not yet comfortable talking to you... I imagine when b/f finds out about these discussions and sees an improvement in her reaction to him. He'll put the kabosh on the workouts...
Then you b/f will be sad to lose his friendship with her, but if you are wise you'll use the opportunity to strengthen YOUR relationship and start a more open dialogue with you...
Right now, you're more sensitive because he's not opening up to you like he is with her.
Give it time. He's wanting to move your relationship to the next level, he's just not sure how. You could help him out by responding positively... Send him a note, telling him how much you enjoy the enthusiasm and vigor that you've noticed in the relationship, recently... How you feel as though the relationship is new and lively... You're spellbound by his efforts and find that you are loving him on more levels.
If he was cheating, this would not be the news he'd want to hear. If it is as I believe it is. He'll see your appreciation and continue!!!
Don't be jealous, just enjoy and encourage to see what happens next.
2006-10-17 06:33:18 · answer #2 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on the information you provided, I would most likey think that your b/f is probably not cheating on you although he is enjoying his time with this other woman and is most likey flirting with her. Often times, guys need to have a little harmless flirtation with another women for reasons such as: self-assurance, entertainment, or even harmless arousal from "what might be". However, I would tend to think that although he is not cheating now, it may very well lead down that path. The fact that they both has significant others yet are spending time alone together it quite concievable that they may cheat if the oppurtunity presents itself. If I were in your place, I would make it clear to him that you too would like to improve yourself and join him at the gym, and see if he does ask you along. Another way you can smooth things over and find out if it is indeed harmless, suggest to you b/f that the both of you go on a double date with his workout partner and her b/f. Based on his responses to these suggestions you should be able to find out where he stands. If he ignores both suggestions or never get's around to following through with either one, I'd start to worry because more than likely, there's something going on. Hope this helps.
2006-10-17 06:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by neils678 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God!!!!!!! Now, first of all...the ride to clas in my opinion is o.k. BUT inviting to workout clas is a definite no no!!!!! You haven't been invited yourself, show just show up! No harm trying that. As for the more affectionate than usual, taking you palces buying you things is usually the first sign of guilt. I know from experience because after an abusive marriage, I knew. He would take me out buy me things and so on. That was afte he was finished hitting me around and punching me. My sister had one day asked after she'd seen my black ey and cut and bruises..what did you get this time? Anyway, I am not syaing he is cheating but if you have the resource to help you,,,try to follow him secretly. Not class but to the GymWorkout. You need a good friend to help you and one that won't tell absolutely anyone! I wish you the best of luck and my heart is with you.. I am now happily re-married and have 10 children with foyr grand kids. He his the best.
Good luck and the best for you, Sandra
2006-10-17 06:25:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not be cheating yet, but it's just a matter of time. This guy is putting himself in a very awkward position. I've been married 26 years, have never cheated on my wife and it's because I have never put myself in a position where I would be tempted to do something wrong. His recent affection could be a sign he feels guilty and is over compensating. Ten months is not a very long time and you don't say how old you are. If you are young, say under 25, don't tie yourself down to one guy anyway. Experience life and date several guys. If you do this you will find the right guy for you. Best of Luck.
2006-10-17 06:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are looking for resolution, then give him an ultimatum. You are looking at a two-pronged problem... You have to ask him not to see the girl anymore (which I think you have every right to do, and probably should not knowing their relationship), and you are going to face the following two arguements.
He will say::
#1. She is just a friend. You've never asked him not to hang out with Pete or Rob or Bill because he's been spending time with them. It's not fair for you to ask him not to hang out with her, help her get to class, etc... just because she is a girl. he will probably say "that's bull$@&%"
#2. He is hanging out with her because she needs him. She needs him for a ride to class (it saves gas and the environment) and she needs him to work out with her to stay motivated. Both of these reasons are probably crap, but what are you going to say??
BOTTOM LINE::: If you don't trust this guy 10 months in, you aren't going to trust this guy 10 years in. I say unless this guy is someone you can't live without; live without him. If he really cares about you enough to get rid of this other girl, he will come back. you have to be confident enough to walk away and know that he will come back if he's worth it.....
Good Luck!
2006-10-17 06:29:17 · answer #6 · answered by soccrian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....This is tricky. If he's been spending time with another woman and just after doing so becomes more affectionate, he is hiding something or is feeling guilty. Be careful here. Maybe see if you can accompany him to a workout with her and see how they interact. Good luck! He may be doing nothing wrong at all, but I think by meeting this person that it will give you a better idea of what is going on.
2006-10-17 06:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by MichiganFan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i have two views on this....sometimes when guys have a "good girl friend" she helps him see how special his girlfriend is and how he should treat her better or he sees her and her boyfriend interacting and wants to treat you as well as he treats her its a mental thing.....or the other one is he wants to do all these things for you so you dont question his motives with her. Either way question him as to why you cant go to the gym with them and tell him you would really love to go with him and spend that time with him and if he still refuses that you not come, why not show up to the gym one day to suprise him...act innocent just say i missed you and wanted to work out with you, if he acts funny about it and the girl acts like she doesnt know who you are then i'd say he's cheating but if they both act fine then i dont think you need to worry. Also do you know for sure she has a boyfriend or is it just what you've heard from your boyfriend? Main thing go with your gut...no girl deserves to be cheated on! If he is then he is a jerk and you deserve better! Good Luck and go with your heart!
2006-10-17 06:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by roxygurl1307 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say a thing till you have real proof, trust him, because before this girl came along DID you ever want to go to the gym with him? or are you just concerned coz some other girl is going with him? Maybe she works out like he does and it's more comfortable having her there because maybe you never expressed an interest. Just lay low and see what happens you can't jump to conclusions. Good Luck
2006-10-17 06:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by Wood77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever met the other girl? Maybe see about setting up a double date so you can see how their body language is toward each other and see how close she is to her boyfriend. You might be able to get a better feel for things once you see them together. Trust is key in ANY relationship. If she seems a bit distant from her "boyfriend" while on a double date and a bit too 'chummy' to yours---that might give you your answer.
2006-10-17 06:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by itsjustme_erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not crazy. Why on earth would he take another girl to workout but not invite you? And give her rides? Unacceptable. ask him how he would feel if you went to the gym with some other dude and didnt invite him? He wouldnt like that! He may be acting nicer than usual to try and cover his tracks.
2006-10-17 06:22:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋