My friend is getting married and she is doing a lot. She is having a dinner outing with her friends, a shopping trip, a bridal shower and of course, her wedding. I am invited to all of these but I am only going for the shower and the wedding. Instead of getting one small gift for the shower and one small gift for the wedding, is it okay to combine the two and buy a big gift?
2006-10-17 06:01:19 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I do believe it is appropriate to combine the gifts. Remember that you have one year to give a gift for the wedding, just as the bride has one year to send out her thank you notes. You might want to give a party gift or shower gift such as, a home cooked meal @ your place for the new couple, a once-a-month cleaning for 3 months, help moving in or out or packing or shelve lining, be creative, you'll come up with gifts she will appreciate.
Or a great couples devotional book or how to be handy @ home book for a good price - there's lots of ideas. Have fun with it. Hey, offer to help w/her thank you notes.
2006-10-17 08:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Forever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically it is not proper etiquette to bring a gift to the wedding. (Wedding gifts should be dropped by the bride's home a few days before the ceremony)
That is why showers were started, to give guests an opportunity to give the wedding gifts all at once.
But most people are not aware of this rule and bring gifts to weddings all the time.
I would bring the big gift to the shower and nothing to the ceremony because the bride will not even know if you had brought a gift to the wedding because she won't open those up until she gets back from the honeymoon.
2006-10-17 07:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by Rainy Days and Mondays 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your friend. If it is a financial matter, she will understand. If it is just a matter of this is what you really want to get her, she will understand. Just tell her that you are getting her one gift and it is for the big day. And explain why. And if she doesn't understand, don't change what you are doing. But I would get her a card for the bridal shower. But you don't even have to tell her. If you got her a card for the bridal shower and the big gift for the wedding, she will understand anyways. The reason for the card being so that when she looks back on the bridal shower she can see that card and remember that you were there for her
2006-10-17 06:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is your option.. and also what you can afford to do.. I would rather have the big gift than two.. what ever you get for your friend she will be very happy with it. give the big gift at the wedding and tell her in a card for the shower that you combined both gift and it will be at the wedding.. will make her very happy and build up the expectations of what you have gotten for them..
That is what friend ship is all about.. being able to do things they way that they work best for you .she is just excited about the up coming wedding..not the gifts.
have a good day at the shower and the wedding..
wish them all the best of luck and happiness.
2006-10-17 06:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only circumstance where that is acceptable is if the person is not able to attend the wedding but has requested to come to or throw the/a shower. Otherwise, inviting someone to a shower in lieu of inviting them to the wedding is poor etiquette. This kind of happened to me and I haven't even had a shower yet. A good friend of mine from college is going to be out of the country for the summer. She won't be able to make the wedding but she wants to throw me a bridal shower.
2016-05-22 08:51:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is acceptable. I would give the gift at the shower. If you don't want to show up empty handed to the wedding, just get a nice card. You could make a note in it saying "Hope you liked the............" Then you can make it clear that the present was for both occasions without having to explain it and without looking cheap.
2006-10-17 07:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not go to the shower if I was not going to bring a gift- so- I would go to the wedding and give the "big gift" D
2006-10-17 06:16:30 · answer #7 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've done it before. Just tell her that is what you are planning on doing. My sister had all that stuff planned for her wedding. I sent her 2 sets of expensive glasses and she wrote me and told me thanks for the shower gift. I told her that it was both. 1 set for shower, 1 set for wedding. Just tell your friend ahead of time that you want to buy her one gift. I'd give it to her at the shower because she'll be opening presents in front of everyone there. At the wedding, they do it afterwards when they are alone.
2006-10-17 06:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by Caitlin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could combine them, but it's generally nicer to show up to each event with a gift. I'd suggest a small gift for the shower that complements the larger gift for her wedding; for example, pillowcases for her shower to go witht he sheet set for her wedding, or a box of homemade cookies for her shower to inspire her when she receives the baking pan you give her for the wedding.
2006-10-17 06:11:08 · answer #9 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I say its fine. But just tell her she's getting her gift at the wedding. She might think you are just 'cheap' and not bringing something the the shower for her.
2006-10-17 06:12:11 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋