A month into this school year I found out my 5 year olds teacher told her in the begining of school that if the kids were bad she would send them to the office and a man there would give them a shot.Shes had a lot of "accidents" and says shes afraid to ask to go to the bathroom .( the teacher fussed at her the first time she did) When I went to the school to talk to the principle he was ready to defend the teacher before I could even explane everything to him. Of course the teacher denies doing anything out of place.My little girl is very confussed about the whole thing. She loves her teacher and dosnt really understand why when she tells me these things I get so upset. She dosnt want me going to the school to talk to the principle either. I think shes afraid of getting her teacher in trouble and therby her getting in trouble.How do I handle this?
2006-10-17 06:00:54 · 20 answers · asked by momof4 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Never mind what your child wants you to do or not do, she's five years old. This is why we're parents -- we are presumably mature enough to be in charge.
Of course, there is the possibility that your daughter IS making this up. Not that she is a liar or a troublemaker, but five year olds often have trouble distinguishing between truth and make-believe.
However:
If the principal won't listen, especially when the teacher stands accused of some pretty serious misbehavior (I would call scaring the h*ll out of a little kid with lies pretty serious), there is an ugly problem here.
Talk to some other parents and see if they have had similar problems with this teacher. If they have, you should go to the principal together.
If, after that, the principal still refuses to acknowledge a problem, you should take your daughter out of that school. At the very least, you are not being respected or heard, and at the worst, it could be a very bad, even dangerous situation for your daughter.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-17 06:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by sparticle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say a parent/teacher conference with the principal and child present is in order. This way, everyone involved is present and all questions can get answered. If the teacher is doing something wrong then it can get straightened out. If the child has misunderstood the teacher, or whatever the case may be, then she can get some understanding and hopefully have a better experience in class. The fact that she's afraid to go to the bathroom disturbes me. A child should never be afraid to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom. When a small child holds their "needs" for too long it can cause serious health problems. And just the fact that she's afraid to ask....says something more is going on in the classroom than meets the eye. A teacher should NEVER tell a child that if they aren't good they will get sent to the office for a shot. Children are afraid of shots enough as it is, it should never be used as a tool for keeping a kid in line. When the time comes for her to get a shot then she's going to wonder what she done wrong. She will think she's been bad. That in itself confuses children. I think a conference with the teacher and principal is needed and stand firm with them. Don't let them intimidate you. If they can't resolve things, then I would concider moving her to another school or at least another classroom. You are the voice for your children, if you don't stand up for them, who will?
2006-10-17 10:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to the teacher about this? That's always the best place to start. However, it sounds that all your complaints have fallen on deaf ears thus far. You can demand that your child be put in another class. The principal should accommodate your request. If not, then get your daughter out of that school. I understand that yanking her from the class might be a bit drastic, but leaving her there could be more harmful. Bottom line: if you are uncomfortable with a teacher there is no rule stating you can't do anything. If you don't stand up for your children, then who will.
2006-10-17 08:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by mommyofmegaboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've read somewhere that all mothers think their 5-year-olds speak the truth everytime. I'm not saying that your little one is lying. She's still very young and is, probably, unable to express herself or understand things well. If she is scared to go to school because of this, then you should really look into the matter. When I was her age, even I was as confused as she is and my Mum came to talk to the teacher everytime. I would not advice you to talk to the Principal at once without seeing the teacher first. I think you overreacted a bit.
Anyway, what you could do now is ask the teacher to explain the rules again to your child IN YOUR PRESENCE. Do it at a convenient time for the teacher, so that you don't upset her. That way, you'll know exactly what the rules are.
In the meantime, talk to the parents of other children. Ask them if their children have been complaining, and react accordingly.
I hope your little angel is OK at making friends there, for friends are very important to every child whatever the age. Encourage her to "discuss" about the teacher with her friends. It's all about communication here!
Good Luck!
2006-10-17 06:21:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds so bizarre. Why would a teacher tell a class this. I am a teacher -- I used to teach elementary and work at a preschool now. What kind of preschool has a principal? Anyway, this just sounds off. Either the teacher is out of her mind, in which case get your kid out of that class and consider the fact that at this age kids are good fabricators. My 4.5 yr old told me her preschool teacher took them diving for things in a pool -- had them change into swimsuits, etc......quite an elaborate story. There have been others.
Tell your daughter you are going to talk to the teacher about her telling them about he man with the shots. If your daughter doesn't back down, make a list of things, try again to share with the principal and if that does not work remove your child from the situation.
2006-10-17 10:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Beth M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you looked into other schools near you? If that is not an option, have you talked to the teacher directly? Perhaps your daughter misunderstood...or, perhaps she was embarrased by her accidents and made the story up. If the teacher did say such a thing, I think alot more parents would be complaining. Talk to some of the other parents. IF it is true, the teacher needs to be disciplined, obviously, so don't just give up. I'm a bit dubious, only because I have a daughter in daycare myself and just the other day told one of her teachers that another teacher told her to "shut her mouth!"...which was did not actually happen.
2006-10-17 06:35:29 · answer #6 · answered by Trixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teachers are hard to deal with because you never know how they will react to your involvement...your best bet is to discuss your child's needs with the teacher directly. If the teacher is unresponsive or denies the problem(s) you can always request to have your daughter moved to a different class. That may seem drastic but how your daughter perceives school for the rest of her life is based on her first couple years of experience. Dont be afraid to speak up, children spend more time at school than at home these days, if there is a problem in school it will effect her life outside of school as well. If you want to discuss this more feel free to contact me. vickygrrl05@yahoo.com
I hope this helps
2006-10-17 06:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by vickygrrl05 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to go into the school and talk DIRECTLY to the teacher. DO not go over her/his head first!
Go in to the school in a pleasant, nonaccusing manner. Bring your daughter in too. Explain what the problem is with your daughter and what your daughter "thinks" is going on. The teacher may not realize that she is making the child feel uncomfortable/upset. Just be a very friendly, nice mother who wants to solve her daughter's problem.
If talking to the teacher doesn't resolve the issue then demand that the child be placed in another class or that someone else resolves the issue. But try to be very friendly and forgiving/ non judgemental at first.
2006-10-17 08:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the past, I've seen children lie to their parents for whatever reasons. I worked in a school and saw an incident. The little girl said that the teacher shook her and made her stand in the corner with her nose touching the wall.
What actually happened the teacher picked the girl up (after asking her to get up several times) and carried her to the wall. She was told to sit against the wall with her back to it.
I really didn't like the teacher because she always handled situations with a more strict tone than I would.
2006-10-17 06:27:10 · answer #9 · answered by momoftwo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you tell the teacher exactly how you feel, then explain that you will be sitting in during class to see what is going on. If you're unable to do that ask someone who can and get together with the other mothers to see if it's happening to any other of the kids. Now days you're not going to get allot of help from the faculty. I've had problems with my son's school as well, you just have to keep going in and talking with the teacher and principle...let them know you're not going to back down. This is your kid and she needs you to stand up for her if this is indeed happening.
Good luck!
2006-10-17 06:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋