I used to be friends with this girl. She was fairly quiet and boring. When we left school this year we lost touch and now she's sending me nasty messages on MySpace like "to know what exactly i have done to you. why wont you accept my friend request and why are you being all funny with people. its good to know how much friendship is valued by some people. am i right in thinking that it was always a waste of time being your friend? or are you gonna actually start showing some respect for the people who stuck by you through school. " I didn't see her sticking by me. She just sat there. And now I don't know whether to take the high road and ignore her (as I have been) or just send her an unpleasant comment back. There's no way of reconciling the friendship as they've done hurtful things to my close friends. Advice appriciated.
2006-10-17 05:44:22 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Oh yeah - this is in real life and I don't want to stay in contact. But I can pretty much avoid her. Sorry I was unclear.
2006-10-17 06:01:16 · update #1
So sorry. Friendships do end, as do many other kinds of relationships and some people have a harder time accepting that than do others.
You may wish to send a brief note stating that you are sorry that she is taking this so hard, but that you no longer have an interest in a friendship with her and wish her well. After sending that message, don't read any more messages from her and do not respond or send any more messages to her. The friendship is over. I don't know how MySpace works (I'm an old fuddy duddy), however, if there is a way to block her from your page or from sending you messages, do so.
Things should de-escalate when she no longer receives feedback from you; however, if she does anything scary, report it to someone. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you are in school, tell your parents, report it to the school administrators, let your friends know so that they can keep an eye out, and if she makes any kind of a threat (even if you don't believe that she will act on it) report it to the police.
All the best to you.
2006-10-17 05:58:56 · answer #1 · answered by j14456um 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take the high road, yes, but also politely tell her that she is the one who hurt your feelings, and tell her that you no longer wish to be her friend. Then say, good luck to you, you'll make more friends soon. Then ignore her from then on. Unless you by chance maybe want to restart the friendship again, in that case, let her know exactly how she hurt you and perhaps you two could work thing out. Don't start talking bad about her or spreading rumors about her, that would be taking the low road and being highly immature.
2006-10-17 05:53:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just answer her politely and tell her that you have nothing against her, but you would prefer not to be in touch with her any longer. That she has done nothing wrong but that it is simply your decision not to be her friend and that you would appreciate that she deletes your email address from her contacts. Tell her that it was nice to be her friend during school but it came to an end. Wish her luck with any new friends she may have in her new school. This person seems to have a fixation with you of some sort, therefore, it is preferably you do not bring more anger into the situation. Hope all works out for the good.
2006-10-17 06:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've already got the answer to this yourself - just ignore it. I know it's hard but it's the only thing you can do if you want to keep your dignity and be the better person. To be honest she sounds like a bit of a nut job and you're definitely better off having nothing to do with her.
It's an unfortunate fact that some people will just never see reason or back down from an argument no matter what you say to them. My advice would be not to even bother in this case. Write this girl off as one of those people and forget her.
Good luck.
2006-10-17 05:58:07 · answer #4 · answered by Nickelcat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wite her a note stating your reasons why you don't want no more contact with her but don't be dis-respectful or rude. This will only add more fuel to the fire. Then forget the girl.The high road is always the better way, as there are people who can go a lot lower than you, and you won't feel any better by getting involved in such bitterness.
Good Woman!
2006-10-17 10:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ignore her. Maybe you asked this question because you do not feel comfortable with that. Maybe you want to say or do something that does not make you feel uncomfortable later. Explain that all people change and that she and you changed. You are not the same persons you were and you wish her a good life, but she has to sort out her problems with these changes herself. You obviously can not help her. Maybe you can advise her to ask another school-'friend' how she looks at it. But you do not want contact anymore because that is not helpful if she speaks about you that way.
2006-10-17 09:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by Stillwater 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a sad fact but when you leave school its sort of an end of a chapter I had great friends in highschool but never see them now- then in college the same!
maybe this girl hasn't moved on just yet-
if you want nothing to do with her i'd just ignore the texts- if you meet her be pleasant and just say your phones been acting up or something or you've changed your number- your not children anymore so don't stoop to name calling or nasty texting - its a bit childish!!!
hold you head up and concentrate on your new life- good luck and make the most of it- it goes way too fast!!!
2006-10-17 11:07:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just reply back and ask her why she didnt say anything to you before and why she was so quiet in school? I wouldnt bother getting too upset about her and like you said you can just ignore her. its up to you who you choose to remain in contact with, she will just have to understand that you have moved on and dont wish to keep in touch, nor add her to your friends list. myspace is a huge network for meeting new people, tell her to get herself some new friends instead of dwelling in the past.
2006-10-17 06:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by pussycatboi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you weren't friends to begin with there's no harm in telling her to go away. Maybe in a nice way. And if she says anything more to you, all you have to say is that look i've done waht you want, answered you, said no we are not friends you know the sitch. She dont really have much of an argument. Unless of course, you was mean to her at school.
2006-10-17 21:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by Carole T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my honest opinion, I would go with your "higher road" option. I think if you just ignore her she will get the drift. Yes, you might get a few more bazaar MySpace messages, but if you were to reply back in the same fashion you would just add more fuel to her fire. It sounds like you have a crazy on your hands. I would steer clear and avoid contact as much as possible.
2006-10-17 05:55:00 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋